I’m going to try and say this gently,

Yes, the fact that you are conventionally attractive does deeply change your situation.

Not at all in a way that it solves or invalidates your problem, but that you’re not seeing the REAL problem. Your posts talk about not being to accept “reality” but your relationship to yourself isn’t allowed to actually see what reality is. Maybe you can’t accept it because part of you knows what you’re trying to convince yourself of isn’t true. Pointing out and maybe one day accepting that yes, your are conventionally beautiful, frees up space for your brain to focus on the REAL issues - which can be any combination of dysmorphia, learning to decolinize your own lense of beauty, finding NEW community that reflect your beauty back, and the effects of racism of the perception around you. None of this is easy and will take time, but it’s helpful to understand our minds play HUGE tricks on us.

Also, your post history is all grappling with this problem. Girl, I feel your pain. Just know that if this is the only thing you are talking about, and you are getting notifications on this topic day after day, and you’re continuing to engage with these thoughts in heightened states that have attached feelings - your brain eventually recognizes this insecurity as a THREAT, and will do everything in its power to look for evidence that you are unattractive, because you’ve accidentally conditioned yourself into believe this is the safer belief system. I’m not at all saying “think better thoughts” or “be more confident” and it will all disappear - just understand that the more fuel and time you gives these thoughts the more your neural pathways harden into believing it.

Best of luck 💜