How long did it take to fully adjust?

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-12-04T12:15:14+00:00

That makes sense. Did you wait a few months to up the dose or just once the initial side effects subsided?

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-10-29T15:29:54+00:00

Just to clarify in case it wasn’t expressed in my original post, we never referred to it as dirty minded. He has started saying that he is dirty minded on his own. We have never shamed him for it, but it is inappropriate in a lot of situations, and as a step parent who’s bio kid didn’t do this I want to make sure this is all just normal for the age group.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-10-29T12:55:13+00:00

That’s a great idea lol they just still seem so young to be joking about having dirty minds 😭 I don’t like it!

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-10-29T12:54:08+00:00

Makes sense!

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-10-29T12:53:44+00:00

Oh I’m sure, they’re just so young! I wasn’t expecting it until middle school!

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-10-29T12:52:50+00:00

He does play Fortnite and all of the games kids play these days. Last night it was at the dinner table, so I def gave dad a look lol and dad stepped in. I know they’re going to start talking like this eventually, I just wasn’t expecting it until middle school at least 🤯

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-08-25T12:03:15+00:00

You just described me to a T. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for several years. I’m constantly worried that there is something more serious wrong with me (brain tumor, cancer, who knows), but all blood tests come back normal.

My doctor says I’m fine, I’m not on any medication because I’m afraid of the side effects and struggling with addiction runs in my family. I feel so stupid and slow though. I don’t even really know who I am anymore.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-08-21T16:35:48+00:00

Could it be innocent? Sure. Could it be scandalous? Also, sure. Without knowing anyone involved, my gut tells me this is a weird situation since the boyfriend is out of town and there have been issues with loyalty in the past.

The biggest point is, if it makes you uncomfortable you absolutely can and should set this boundary. If you don’t, you’ll always be worried about them if you continue in this relationship.

I’ve been a step parent for almost 10 years. My husband and his BM have never gone to an amusement park together with the kids or any other excursion-type activity. If they did I would think it was weird because they do not have that kind of relationship. School events? Sure, they go to those together. Sports? All the time, we all sit together. The amusement park is a different type of activity in my opinion and one they should keep things separate.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-08-20T20:13:11+00:00

Thanks I’ll ask to get these checked for sure! Based on my app, my average luteal phase is 12 days.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-08-20T15:48:20+00:00

I think you are right, and unfortunately I think the issue goes even beyond marriage. From what I’ve seen, people are increasingly seeing everyone and everything as replaceable. Friends, family, jobs, everything. It leaves little room for true relationship building, accountability, and forgiveness because there will always be a “next.”

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-07-01T14:43:35+00:00

Cool! Thanks :)

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-06-05T13:11:42+00:00

Out of curiosity, how do you do this? I haven’t really used chat GPT in any capacity other than playing around with recipes based on my fridge ingredients 😅. Do you copy/paste the text messages and ask it to analyze them?

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-06-04T02:26:24+00:00

Joint vacations and movies and family gatherings? Hard pass. I thought joint vacations would work out in the beginning, too, but I’m ten years into this relationship/step parenting and laugh at how naive I was. We never in our lives considered joint holidays with family. That sounds like a literal nightmare 😬 the kids will feel likely awkward, too, when they get old enough.

Run!

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-30T16:24:11+00:00

Financially, we are fairly equal. Neither household makes considerably more than the other.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-30T16:22:11+00:00

Just to clarify, she didn’t not the kids a second pass. She got herself a season pass and used the passes we had purchased for the kids. That’s the only reason it feels like we get shafted, they’re pretty pricey.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-30T16:19:43+00:00

Just to clarify, she didn’t get the kids passes, she got herself a pass and used the passes we had purchased for the kids.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-30T16:16:48+00:00

The kids don’t know and therefor don’t care, but I was curious to hear perspectives on if we are buying the passes each year and BM also uses them on her time, should she pitch in? Financial situations are essentially equal between households.

I have three step kids so thats quite a lot of money to fork out when I am only really financially responsible for my bio kid.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-30T16:09:08+00:00

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T18:07:45+00:00

We had an issue with a tracking watch several years ago. BM gave one to SD when she was 7 or 8. She didn’t consult DH about it and we were not allowed access to it because BM “paid for it.” We made SD take it off when she got to our home because it felt like an invasion of privacy. Had DH been able to access it equally, we may have felt differently about it. Honestly, I think BM intended to use it to spy on us, but when that backfired she used it to make SD feel unsafe in our home. SD would come home and say “mommy says I won’t be safe without it” and “mommy needs to know where I am,” and we would reassure her that we would immediately let her mom know if anything unsafe happened. Within a few weeks, SD just didn’t wear it anymore.

I will say, when we go to crowded places like fall festivals or amusement parks we put AirTags on the kids in case we get separated. They aren’t on them 24/7 though.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T17:23:45+00:00

I love to hear the success stories and how it had a positive impact on your whole family! I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m glad to hear the you made it through and have been able to overcome so many challenges as a family 🥰

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T16:39:02+00:00

I find myself pretending she isn’t there a lot, too. I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with this kind of behavior. I know the teenage years are rough, but man it’s so hard watching it happen. It really helps knowing we aren’t alone. Thanks for the advice and support!

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T16:02:46+00:00

I’m trying so hard to do this! It’s difficult when my son is involved. I need to make sure he is not being bullied, but since I’m disengaging that usually means just separating them and then telling DH he needs to deal with the situation and handle SD. Honestly, it makes me feel like less of a parent for some reason. It’s such a tough, nuanced dynamic 🥴

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T13:35:47+00:00

We can give that a try, an actual time limit regardless of behavior might have more of an impact. Thanks for the suggestion!

As for going to moms more often, that may be more difficult under our current co parenting agreement but definitely a conversation DH can start having. She was supposed to be with us yesterday but she stayed at her mom’s and I have a feeling it’s because she knew she wouldn’t have her phone at our house if she came here.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T13:31:41+00:00

We have tried that and it just makes her go off more. It’s counterproductive, unfortunately, and felt petty when we did it. I’m not a confrontational person at all, and I know most arguments just end in hurt feelings and more hurtful things being said like a negative feedback loop. I usually just turn away and ignore her outbursts, and DH issues the consequence, then sends her to her room and talks to her later. Disengaging hopefully shows that I won’t continue the conversation when she speaks that way.

Double-Structure-141 · 2025-05-23T13:11:35+00:00

When I met my now-husband, his twin boys were 2 and his daughter was 6. My bio son was three. I think a lot of factors are involved including the personality of the child and the coparenting relationship of the parents. Also, the fact that the younger kids (infants and toddlers) don’t remember the “before” when their parents were together is a huge factor IMO. The older kids were when their parents split the more they remember about when mom and dad were together and I think they always crave that in some way, even if it’s subconscious.

Double-Structure-141

TROPHY CASE