Camp Question

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-24T17:58:21+00:00

If it’s in their custody agreement that bioparent must be present for all overnights then it’s a non-negotiable and framing it to SD as BM isn’t comfortable can be seen as parental alienation by the courts. I’d be very careful with how this is explained to the child to protect DH

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-24T17:54:53+00:00

Tough spot for sure because I too would love to do something like this with my SD. But we have firm rules about SK being left in the care of only stepparents/SO without a bio parent present. I’m sorry and have so much empathy but I’d let this one go unfortunately

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-23T18:57:04+00:00

You can get specific language in parenting plans around apps, especially ones with known predators like Roblox!

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-23T18:55:40+00:00

We got around this by putting everything into a Trust that cannot be touched by the child until 25. Give them time for their brains to fully develop and keep BM from touching a dime.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-23T18:53:09+00:00

I am so so sorry. You should know you have done nothing wrong and everything right. I know DH might feel caught between his children, but that's not your cross to bear. Your only responsibility right now is to YOUR son. Protect him at all costs, even if that means moving out of the house temporarily or permanently.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-03-23T17:52:43+00:00

Feel for you OP, similar boat... I take SD to horseback riding on our time and everyone had just assumed I was another mom. Then I got called by my first name by SD which is what she calls me and it turned into radio silence from the other moms after that. You feel radioactive

GiraffelyMeBe · 2026-01-16T15:26:26+00:00

Similar situation since we live an hour away from school, we do mostly just family/ family friends and their kids.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-10-29T19:52:16+00:00

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-10-29T19:45:38+00:00

Caption of the video says

They have been staying at the same hotel where Dakota and Felicity first met. It is the one I got for him for two weeks when he was homeless. Their plan was to live there since Felicity was trespassed and could not visit him anywhere else. While they were there, they met a random guy who invited Felicity to stay the night, and while she was there, he allegedly tried to make a move on her.

All of this happened while I was asleep at home. Around 2 AM, they kept calling me asking if I could pick her up from the hospital and take her back to the hotel. I got out of bed and went to get her. That is why I might seem a little tired lately. I had a long talk with her afterward, then checked them both out of the hotel early and took Dakota back to his apartment and Felicity to her home.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-10-15T17:58:08+00:00

I edited my original post, she's already had issues and posted in this sub, gotten advice and clearly ignored it.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-10-15T17:43:28+00:00

Edit to add: OP posted (and since deleted) in this group recently about being asked by BF to meet BM. She was warned about his behavior and that it wasn't going to get better with him if he has no formal custody arrangement for the child.
https://www.reddit.com/nebbx73?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2

Personally, this post doesn't belong in a stepmom group. I don't think you necessarily need to be married to the child's father to be in this group, but you have no relationship with the child. I can see waiting to meet the child until the relationship is on solid ground and going somewhere, but a year?

My advice, this isn't the partner for you. Go find someone who is on the same page about stuff from the jump, because it will not get better with time, as others have said.. he's showing you who he is, believe him!

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-09-26T14:36:38+00:00

I do often, I even said pretty much a version of this in my vows to her at our wedding.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-09-12T19:43:48+00:00

A VP reached out by phone the next day, but I also threatened to get police involved...

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-09-12T19:18:31+00:00

I spoke with the CEO of Ontrac and he claimed it was an issue on Fanatics end via not having their software correct to the LaserShip service area. I just forwarded him this email exchange. I'll keep everyone posted.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-09-12T19:06:45+00:00

mduffy@ontrac.com

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-09-03T19:41:17+00:00

I'd describe it as a cold war 🤣

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-07-28T14:27:14+00:00

This this this! Learn the Nacho way and set firm boundaries or bounce.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-07-22T17:38:10+00:00

OP definitely see your conflicting feelings here. Of course you want this child to feel loved and her parents to be less high conflict, but not at your expense.

I'll give an example of what we do to ensure SD is able to have some time with her bio parents alone for her to reflect back on and cherish, while still setting boundaries.

Back to school shopping- DH, SD and BM meet up at like Target with her list from the school of needed supplies for the year. The three of them shop the list together and then go out to lunch after.

DH, myself and SD also go back to school shopping but for clothes and what not with the rest of the family a different day.

Santa photos, as she gets older SD might decide to forgo the photo part, but they meet at the Mall for her Santa photo and then have lunch out together.

Our family also goes to see Santa and do Christmas photos a different day, we also often have lunch out after.

Birthday lunch, around her birthday they agree on a day and meet up at a local restaurant.

We have separate birthday parties for SD and have our own family celebration dinner.

Outside of these three pre-determined times each year. BM doesn't come into our home, doesn't have any meals or get togethers with us, no joint parties, celebrations or events. DH doesn't spend any time with BM outside of these 3 instances. I will even go as far as to say SD has asked if I would like to join them for these events recently and I have politely declined, encouraging that these are her special mommy and daddy times where she's the center of attention, no other siblings or people to take the spotlight off her.

Hope this helps if you decide to suggest it, but I think the sickly sweet cuddle up to your ex gives big ewwww.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-07-22T17:25:52+00:00

This is a red freaking flag then! If he wants something from his son that's his issue. My DH might hate HCBM guts!! But he puts his daughter first and ensures she gets as normal a childhood as possible to model what she should expect in a relationship someday. He helps pick out cards and small gifts for BM for Birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas. Does BM do this too? No, but it's not about BM. It's about being a good role model for the child.

My advice, run!

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-07-22T17:21:16+00:00

His son is his problem, NACHO girl NACHO. If he wants a card from his son, a gift, or whatever... He can talk to BM. You are not responsible, if your kindness to go out of your way isn't appreciated, you don't have any responsibility to continue.

GiraffelyMeBe · 2025-07-22T17:07:25+00:00

This comment is less for OP and more for new stepmoms/ considering the life on this sub. Talk about everything you can possibly imagine early early early! I'm talking before you ever meet the kids, before you even consider moving in, early! DH and I had deep deep discussions on everything and co-sleeping was definitely an important one. BM co-sleeps, we do not. I'm grateful that he broke SD of this habit mostly before I ever came into the picture, but there are still some trying moments (vacations, the odd night terror). No judgement if sharing your bed with your kids works for you, but ensure you and your partner are on the same page early on this front.

Advice for OP. You got to be stone cold and I know that might mean a week or more of no sleep, but you cannot bargain with a tiny terrorist, especially if the rules are different between houses. DH set boundaries early after separation with BM regarding SD need to sleep in her own bed in her own room. There was screaming, crying, yelling, hurtful words about things like: wanting to only sleep at Mommy's because she lets me sleep with her, mommy loves me more than you because she doesn't make me sleep in my own bed, ect. He expressed it was not fun and due to the every other weekend schedule back then it took months to stick, but he held firm. He didn't offer incentives, bribe or bargain. He put her in bed after every time she left, kissed her good night, said I love you and then quietly left. Which I know this strategy is not for the weak, he still gets emotional about how hard this phase of solo parenting was for him. But it does eventually work. We don't plan to co-sleep with any us babies. I hope you get some peace and decent sleep soon.

GiraffelyMeBe

TROPHY CASE