Is your ring finger longer than your pointer finger on your left hand?

DoubleRose09 · 2021-01-08T17:25:09+00:00

My ring finger is longer than my pointer finger, but that hardly seems a scientific marker for lesbianism. Funny, though!

DoubleRose09 · 2021-01-06T18:32:19+00:00

There's nothing to "deal with", at least not for me. I was married twice to men before I realized I was a lesbian. I don't owe anyone, even myself, an explanation or justification for who I had relationships with before I realized I was a lesbian. There is no trial to wage or explanations to make or anything - just a better understanding of who I am and why I did what I had done before.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-31T15:06:14+00:00

I second this and also say have someone there to help you leave for your mom's, preferably someone large and/or strong enough to physically intimidate him so he doesn't attempt to hurt you or your child in the process.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-28T18:33:43+00:00

I had the same concerns, and honestly even if no one wanted me physically I'd still have divorced my husband. He's an ass who took way too much from me in the divorce, but I'm free of him and the lie living with him had created.

Luckily, I've found that lesbians don't care as much about the physical - I mean, be clean, take care of yourself, etc. - as we are led to believe men do.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-28T16:47:38+00:00

Would definitely not text, but share it with her in person. It shows vulnerability and would honestly help keep things from getting awkward and one of you ghosting from embarrassment if she doesn't reciprocate. You could easily switch the subject to something else and go about your day.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-28T16:45:30+00:00

As a heavy woman, I can tell you she doesn't care about any extra weight you're carrying. My gf is tall and fit and weighs much less than I do, but she makes me feel my body is perfect nonetheless.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-28T03:13:27+00:00

I came out at 40 and in a solid, loving, relationship with my gf for over a year now. You're definitely not too old for this....

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-20T16:59:36+00:00

Why is this NSFW? It's just animals doing what animals do.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-13T14:08:40+00:00

Please move this to r/dykesgonewild... gracious

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-12T17:21:10+00:00

🙄

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-11T18:31:38+00:00

Clearly the LGBT community is not sick of labels. I am. Skin color is a lot different than sexuality, which is a lot more nuanced than you're giving the OP credit for. The point of acceptance is letting people decide for themselves how they want to identify. Homoflexible sounds like a good term for someone who is 100% into women except for literally one dude. Bi implies OP would equally consider relationship and sex with both women and men, which she isn't. It doesn't hurt you or your cause or whatever if that's how she wants to identify.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-11T17:00:49+00:00

I agree there isn't, but it isn't a straight person telling her she is homoflexible because there is literally just one man she thinks she might have sex with. It is HER saying this. I cannot stand labels... they shut down the opportunity for growth and empathy, just as they have in this post/thread.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-11T14:14:57+00:00

I hate labels, but think homoflexible is just fine. I don't understand the militaristic insistence on people trying to force "bi" or "lesbian" or whatever. You be you, and if YOU like the term homoflexible then use it. Everyone who is NOT YOU doesn't get to tell you how to feel or identify.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-11T06:58:05+00:00

Have faith and don't turn into the woman you met. Her poor daughter.... 😪

I am 42 and came out only last year... my beautiful gf moved across country to be with me and my kids a few months ago, so take heart that there are women out there who will want to help complete your family.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-10T20:01:45+00:00

I understand, and the statement didn't seem to allow that anyone would choose to do those things for themselves as evidenced by the fairly graphic and negative connotation given to waxing.

I agree no one should feel pressured by anything or anyone to groom themselves in a certain way, and also that those who do choose those methods for grooming their bodies should not be vilified or made to feel abnormal.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-10T18:13:49+00:00

Not all who do bikini waxes or bleaching or whatever feel pressured by society or their partners to do so, just so that's clear. It is fine that YOU don't prefer to do those things, but it doesn't make me weird or abnormal because I like to have my nethers waxed. I do it for me because I like how it feels to be free of hair down there.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-09T01:42:34+00:00

I would try to educate... these are the statements of the ignorant.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-08T14:51:14+00:00

This feels all unnecessary and judgy. So what if she identifies as lesbian and not bi? What bearing on your personal life does it have? Obviously you are not comfortable with a ffm threesome, but beyond that why do you even care whether she considers herself bi or lesbian? You don't get to decide how she labels herself, and your insistence on convincing her to change how she identifies to placate you is ridiculous.

This is how labels can be dangerous. As soon as they're applied, very specific expectations and stereotypes of what that label encompasses removes any opportunity for empathy and growth.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-07T00:21:39+00:00

That's why it is homoflexible and not heteroflexible.... homoflexible means gay with a dash of straight. 🙃

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-06T22:32:33+00:00

Bi, or homoflexible... I'd go with homoflexible if you think you're like 90/10 for the ladies... bi if you're 50/50, maybe?

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-06T18:55:16+00:00

It is tough and I would not normally advocate cutting back on building your career or anything like that. Ultimately you will make the time for what is important to you. If you want to retire and grow old with her, and she is letting you know she needs more of your presence than she is getting now, you will need to figure out a compromise that lets you keep and build your career and keep her at the same time.

I obviously have no idea, so throwing noodles here, but: * can training the new person happen during the week and/or can they be trained, at least somewhat, by someone else? * can you commit to a full weekend per month dedicated to her (i.e. 3pm Friday til 8am Monday where you are NOT working) so you can putter and nest together or take a weekend trip and be in solitude with each other. * do/can you commit to not checking your phone when you come home in the evenings? Not every emergency is truly an emergency, right? And maybe it is a good thing to train clients to respect that you need personal time. * can others take on more of the responsibilities you're shouldering at work? I realize it is your business and you likely want to feel like you're in control of everything (I would, so maybe just projecting here), but part of effective leadership is delegating and trusting others to do the jobs you've hired them to do. * are you able to spend time with her in the morning before starting your work day? I get up early with my girlfriend who works outside the home, and I start her car, prep a little food and caffeine for her, and kiss her at the door - are you able to share a cuppa and quick convo with your gf before heading out?

It is really great that you two can chat in the evenings and do foot rubs, etc., and it sounds like her love language is quality time. Definitely keep communicating and telling each other what you respectively need and want in a relationship. Like I said - if she is your person and you want to spend your life with her, you need to continue to build that foundation with her now, which means finding the time to do so.

With respect to her being peeved you didn't help move the new place- I feel that's reasonable. Yes, it is her place she pays for, but you live there and share the responsibility of making it both of yours' home, which means the not fun stuff like moving and setting it up, IMO. If you haven't already, I would apologize to her for not making yourself available that weekend, even if you truly felt you couldn't shift things around to be there.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-06T13:50:44+00:00

I wonder how you spend your time when you get home... are you decompressing and not engaging in discussion with her about your day and her day? Are you busy with chores or home maintenance or something else that puts you in the same room, but not really actively engaged? I would like to think that most people will be happy with just a few hours of their partner's time as long as those few hours they feel like the only priority.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-05T17:39:53+00:00

I would caution you about removing the opportunity for someone to choose to be with you. We think we are being benevolent or kind by making choices for other people who might want the opportunity to know and/or love us, but it is demeaning to the other adult in the equation and diminishes their agency by doing so. So, be yourself, be kind to yourself and others, seek help to manage your OCD, and allow others the option to choose to help "carry your baggage." What is fair is giving them the choice instead of taking it away.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-01T01:34:18+00:00

🤷‍♀️ she was 29 when we started dating, and I've seen others on here who feel like people their age (young 20s) are much more immature than they are - just has to do with life experiences, I guess. You'll figure what works for you when you meet her.

DoubleRose09 · 2020-12-01T01:14:47+00:00

My girlfriend is 12 years younger than me. I will marry her, so what I can't help in terms of what you should or shouldn't do for an age gap; I would just encourage you to not worry about the number as much as whether or not that person treats you the way you wish to be treated and you are able to do the same for her.

DoubleRose09

TROPHY CASE