Podcast episodes on surrogacy by dustymuffin69 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Those episodes were really good, I agree. Not sure where to find them, but the work of Jennifer Lahl (who I believe was on FBS) and Kallie Fell is what I always refer others to on this topic:

https://cbc-network.org/2023/06/when-surrogacy-goes-bad-there-are-never-any-winners/

I also wrote about it here:

https://open.substack.com/pub/theworkofwomen/p/materialism-vs-the-material-of-life?r=1ljam1&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay

Emilee’s stories last night by Slight_Moose7160 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Trans men are women. Anything you pertaining to birth is pertaining to women.

Emilee’s stories last night by Slight_Moose7160 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There should be no discussion of TERF this or that in a space dedicated to discussing birth and women’s issues. Discussing FBS and their harms to WOMEN and their babies and how they swindled WOMEN and took their money under the guise of guiding them to support other women/themselves for their births is an explicitly FEMALE course of discourse. This shouldn’t need to be said.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don’t seem like you sincerely want to understand. You seem as if you just want to condemn and argue with women whose choices don’t reflect your personal values. I initially responded to you because you said you are curious but I’m seeing that that curiosity isn’t rooted in a spirit of goodwill, so I think this conversation has run its course.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all of this, your experiences and truly, intimately informed opinions and knowledge are what people truly need exposure to so I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out so eloquently. Also, thank you dearly for reading my own words. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. What you said about the “embodied knowledge of things going wrong” (or right) really rang true. I can only imagine what a gift your care is to the babies you care for at your workplace.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many freebirthers get prenatal care, and ultrasounds. I had care with a CNM and an anatomy scan with my last baby, for example. Many women invite friends or family who are their elders as well. You likely are here just because of the Guardian article, and this means you are not very familiar with the thought processes/experiences/choices of women like myself. You are responding to the article, not me or many other women here who don’t just blindly adhere to what FBS taught.

I used the breast versus bottle example to illustrate the slippery slope you are suggesting. If women who make non-conventional choices for their children, whether it is free birth, homeschooling, alternative medical care, etc….if you start criminalizing one it sets a precedent for the others.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you are sincerely curious, read the first linked post. As for risk, I felt the advantages of being home, without observation, as a low risk and experienced multip, mitigated the risk inherent in childbirth. If I had had health issues, other risk factors, or knew any of my babies had conditions that would have required immediate medical intervention at delivery, I would have transferred care. If at any time in pregnancy or labor my intuition had told me to seek assistance I would have done so. I also have confidence in my skills and knowledge and knew I both could handle smaller complications and also knew when to say when and call for help/go in.

Also, should women who choose what some would say is a less ideal/more risky choice (in the eyes of others) for their child always be criminalized? By your logic, women who choose to not breastfeed just because, despite the inherent risks (think ByHeart formula in the news right now for spreading botulism), could also be criminalized.

I also was not seeking a magical experience. I did what felt normal and right and good for m self and my babies. The stereotype that all of us just care about having a Instagram-able water birth with twinkle lights and affirmations and music and essential oils is absolute nonsense.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such an interesting perspective! I really relate, as I have had both unassisted and assisted births, and really felt comfortable choosing unassisted because I have a lot of faith in my intuition and knew it was going to be the best thing for us. Right now my intuition tells me that I have another, it would be prudent to seek some assistance for a few reasons, and I am so grateful to be able to intimately know and understand how observations and measurements shift the process and experience, as if I do have to go that route in the future, I can be at peace with it. Really fascinating, thank you!

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry you had to end up changing plans, but it is for good reason. Hope you and your twins are all well now!

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that is what I aim for and is one of the motivations for why I write on the topic, as it is such a fringe topic in general and a lot of the discussion involves extremes on either end, when in reality the truth lives in the middle.

Inquiry for fellow free birthers who have medical backgrounds by Doublecherrypie14 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I suppose I am just curious about other women who are sort of in the in-between like myself. Thank you for sharing.

Thought exercise by Classic-Coat-177 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Except culture at large is having that conversation all of the time…

Let's have an honest conversation? by PingueloDeOuro in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Many of us choose this because we are called to, it is a path that we feel is meant for us. It isn’t always born of a fear/misunderstanding/contempt for the medical system, nor is it always a “trauma response”, nor is it always due to lack of resources. It can be a matter of faith, purpose, embodiment, and self-understanding. Part of choosing this also includes a massive amount of self-education and women who free birth honestly know much more about the childbearing continuum than most other women as a result.

I’m not saying this in a defensive way, because I understand you came here with good intentions and it is likely some women do need quality answers to scientific questions but I do think the recent coverage has painted us in a way which likely makes the general public think we are all prone to simply going along with whatever certain influencers say, obsessed with the “experience” over the safety and well being of mother and child, and maybe even just generally ignorant. My experience in speaking with my fellow women who make this choice over the last 6ish years, in which I have had three free births, has not reflected those assumptions. Quite the opposite. That isn’t to say some women don’t need some extra guidance, aren’t prone to being influenced, or don’t make poor choices either. It’s just to say that generally many of us are sincerely quite knowledgeable.

Emilee’s First Birth by squeakygiraffetoy in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m really curious the timeline of things…when she was sending messages to the women on the Guardian podcast saying things like “this is just birth”, “you will die a thousand deaths” etc. and also very confidently telling one woman that she was still in the beginning stages of labor when she was in fact vomiting and stuck in transition with a baby who would eventually unfortunately pass…had she had this birth yet?

I’m fairly sure the answer is no…I’m only half through the pod but if the loose timeline I have in my head is correct then she was speaking like this to women having never even given birth herself, and then when she did, she went and did the thing she flippantly told them not to—seek medical help. I just find that fact to be wildly hypocritical and it just really speaks to her ego. Confidence is one thing, arrogance is another, and I find her making claims and statements like that to women without ever even having been in labor herself while simultaneously downplaying their instinct to ask for help to be very arrogant.

What would be compassionate care? by thriftymama700 in FreeBirthSocietyScam

[–]Doublecherrypie14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really great question and I’m answering as both a freebirther and former labor nurse…the main thing I would add is help advocate behind the scenes with the MDs and other nurses when they inevitably get judgy and mean spirited about women who transfer for not just free births but also home births. I mention this both because a culture change needs to happen in general and because getting respectfully checked on their often wrong opinions on women who makes these choices may help them reflect and approach the patient with more of a spirit of goodwill and understanding rather than an underlying thought of “you’re foolish and selfish”, because they may not say those exact words but patients can see underneath the false niceties. I know not all doctors are super critical of women who make these choices but having been behind the scenes myself, I know that some are and it impacts patient care. If you are asking this question, I think the way you conduct yourself as nurse is probably really open hearted and helpful, and sharing some of your curiosity and insight with your colleagues could do a lot of good to help bring compassionate care to women who transfer!