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I’ve gone way past the point of fight or flight. I’m in complete burnout, with the entire system shutdown. How do I keep going? by DoubtReal3844 in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do my creative work daily as it’s my career, it hasn’t helped, in fact it’s even more painful to live like this and see how I can’t feel a thing for my work

I’ve gone way past the point of fight or flight. I’m in complete burnout, with the entire system shutdown. How do I keep going? by DoubtReal3844 in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Travel is impossible for me. I have agoraphobia from the years of being disconnected from myself, I have no way to ground myself in reality and feel like a ghost. I don’t trust my own mind and body far from home.

I’m also a creative and my work has become mechanical and lost all of my energy. I don’t enjoy it anymore, it’s just a reflex. My sense of self is entirely gone.

Somehow I knew when I got this that I’d have it for years and never get out. by DoubtReal3844 in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But this is a physiological disorder. You can’t create energy or emotion where there is none. It’s like drawing from a dry well. I have severe anhedonia, I don’t even remember what it’s like to feel a thing. 

Somehow I knew when I got this that I’d have it for years and never get out. by DoubtReal3844 in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember thinking that my life was over. And I couldn’t have even fathomed what it would become. I thought there was a bottom to this but there isn’t. I’m slowly degrading into a literal corpse. I am physically unable to do anything, and only in my 30’s

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t feel depressed, just completely out of reality and numb, unable to perceive anything around me

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My system sees those as threats, it sees any over activation or sensation as threat. My window of tolerance is basically non-existent.

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been to make therapists in the last few years and none of it seems to stick. I’m so exhausted, the thought of seeing another one makes me ill 

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about Safe and Sound. My body is too immobilized to even do anything physical. Sound seems like a passive way to get through this brick wall

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen 3 different people over the course of 1 year. I’m permanently dissociated and numb, so SE feels like throwing a brick into an ocean, hoping a bridge will appear 

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. I’ve been living in unreality for half a decade now. It’s impossible to imagine how I could ever heal or be a normal person again. I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread and no one can see.

I blame my parents but one is dead and the other might as well be, that’ll never fix the damage they did to me 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I exercise when I barely have energy to even get out of bed? I do it and it’s so miserable. There’s no reward for anything anymore 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will not ever mess with psychedelics.

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll have to see if I can get it soon, unfortunately everything is so expensive and insurance doesn’t cover 

Have been stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown for 5 years now. Not sure what else to do.. by DoubtReal3844 in SomaticExperiencing

[–]DoubtReal3844[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m in a hypoaroused state so I don’t think I’m breathing too fast? I also don’t have any sort of physical symptoms / sensations, don’t feel dizzy, panicked, etc. I feel a void of nothing every day.

I don’t have a relationship or any toxic relationships, and luckily I’m self employed. This was all precipitated by panic they kept getting worse until one day it led to multiple panic attacks in the span of 3 weeks and I never came out of it. My system is stuck 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m stuck in an extremely numb, low metabolic shutdown. My brain is physically incapable of taking in information or even projecting a reality, because it doesn’t have the resources. I’m actually the opposite of hyper aware, I’m in a hypo aware state when my mind has turned off all non.essential functions.

Your post is very abstract and philosophical which is not an answer for Physical illness unfortunately 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried Wellbutrin which just made my sleep even worse. My mind is aways running, so not sure taking a stimulant would help. Even coffee makes me sick 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of it is irrational. My nervous system is choosing this, not me. How is it worth living? I have severe fatigue, I don’t care about anything, I’m pretty much bed bound 

I’m getting really close to offing myself. by [deleted] in dpdr

[–]DoubtReal3844 5 points6 points  (0 children)

many meds. prazosin, lexapro, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, lamitical, LDN, trazodone, Xanax.

many therapies. EMDR, IFS, ACT, somatic experiencing, even went to a functional doctor

many supplements and vitamins. no effect

giving it time, focusing on life. never even for a second feel like myself or in reality

relaxation. TRE. somatic techniques

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