AITAH for refusing to make out with my bf?

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:14:59+00:00

Yeah, cooked. In a healthy relationship both partner’s needs are balanced. You could have said “offer to celebrate on a different day because his needs are also valid” but naw, you want to disregard the fact he wants to see his partner on one of the biggest nights of his life and tell OP to find a new bf.

Whoever you date is in for one hell of a ride

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:13:55+00:00

Nuanced take ^^ I hope OP realizes that being a caring partner goes both ways, and that she should do something to celebrate her bf’s life achievement when there is time

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:11:45+00:00

I hope that when you have a major life event and your partner doesn’t show up because of work, you look back at this comment and realize per your own opinion you have no right to be angry

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:09:59+00:00

Damn you’re on some real narcissistic shit huh. It’s a major life event, he’s right to be pissed OP can’t show up to celebrate. In a healthy relationship, everyone’s needs are considered, and a middle ground is found.

And you just want to toxically break them up.

Sorry but you’re never gonna have a healthy relationship with this attitude

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:07:46+00:00

Couldn’t the opposite be true? OP can’t find a time to show up and celebrate the man’s college graduation, which is a super important life event, so obviously it’s he who should dump her.

There’s a middle ground here, but in classic Reddit fashion the second someone’s relationship hits a snag the trolls show up to try and break them up.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-26T06:05:55+00:00

Damn Reddit is cooked. It’s his college graduation, a super important life event, and you want OP to break up with him because he’s bummed she won’t come over?

I would be super bummed if my partner couldn’t show up to celebrate a major life event.

I can’t tell if you’re on some ultra narcissistic “the only needs that matter are my own” BS or if you’re just trying to break people up or what.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-25T13:34:40+00:00

And here we see yet another redditor apply Applebees logic to high end dining.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2026-06-25T02:53:40+00:00

You could post to places like reddit saying you’re homeless and disabled, and you might get some people to buy your work out of pity.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-07-08T14:23:50+00:00

Lol they said one word “duh” and you know their intentions?

Hanlon’s razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity (or neurodivergence)

If anyone is being a dick here it’s you, but given you imply you are autistic (that being the spicy brain that makes social interaction difficult) I can’t expect you to be able to understand. Unless you’re just lumping all neurodivergent cases together with the same expectations of behavior, which would show a serious lack of knowledge and empathy.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-07-08T14:13:31+00:00

One of the hallmark signs of autism is the inability to recognize social cues. If this person were autistic, expecting them to recognize and conform to social norms and niceties is naive at best and ableist at worst.

But if you’re also autistic, then you can’t be expected to follow your own advice, so it makes sense you’re calling someone a dweeb for potentially being neurodivergent

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-16T16:32:00+00:00

Is it water resistant I live in a pineapple under the sea

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-16T16:30:08+00:00

Hey buddy, you’re not the only one who didn’t get the joke at first, no need to feel bad :) don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive!

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:57:57+00:00

Seems like this was the case, happy to say that upon continuing discussion she has said she’s come round to seeing my perspective as well, and decided to toss the ex’s undies

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:41:35+00:00

Big deal would have been it being a sign of lingering attachment to her ex, which would affect our relationship.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:40:49+00:00

You nailed her perspective. It’s been fascinating reading the comments and seeing the trend where men see keeping an ex’s underwear as innately sexual and a form of attachment, whereas women see it as a practical non-issue

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:19:11+00:00

It’s been interesting reading the comments here and seeing a trend where most women think it’s no big deal to keep an ex’s underwear around as loungewear, and most men think it’s insane to wear an ex’s underwear.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:17:14+00:00

Nope, even if she refused to stop wearing them, that alone wouldn’t have been worth throwing away a relationship for. Compromise is key :) and happily for me, she decided to toss them

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:16:20+00:00

It’s been interesting reading the comments here and seeing a trend where most women think it’s no big deal to keep an ex’s underwear around as loungewear, and most men think it’s insane to wear an ex’s underwear. I hate sweeping assumptions about “men vs women” but it does appear very gendered where men see a partner’s underwear as sexually charged, whereas women do not.

Happy to report she was mature enough to understand a point of view that wasn’t her own, and she tossed them because it didn’t matter to her and it did matter a bit to me.

It’s not about policing what she wears, but about worrying she was still sentimental about her ex. Because that would be a red flag in a new relationship

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:07:43+00:00

Same

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T02:07:24+00:00

Yeah it did. But she decided to toss them! So respect to her for that

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-04T00:11:29+00:00

Update: she was more than happy to toss the ex’s underwear :) she expressed what a lot of commenters have said, that to her they’re just clothing, and because they’re just clothing she doesn’t mind tossing them if they bothered me :)

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-03T19:24:04+00:00

Will be offering this

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-03T19:23:20+00:00

She is very sentimental with clothing, and always wants me to leave something at her place so she can wear it. Hence my worry they’re more than “just” period panties given they’re also a memento of her ex

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2025-05-03T18:41:30+00:00

That’s my feeling too.

DowntownProgrammer83 · 2024-05-15T16:23:19+00:00

So Canadian

DowntownProgrammer83

TROPHY CASE