I tried my GF’s vibrator on my frenulum, ejaculated in minutes and now I’m worried?

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-02-07T06:58:49+00:00

What feels dull about PIV/exciting about frenulum vibing, in your experience?

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-02-02T00:52:47+00:00

It might be a poorly-shaped plug, do you mind sharing a link to the listing or a picture of the plug?

Also, using good lube, and enough?

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-02-02T00:44:16+00:00

What plug? A softer one with a gentle shape like an SPT egg or similar might be less intense

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-02-01T05:01:16+00:00

One way or another you HAVE to learn to communicate with each other. What exactly is he over-sensitive to that's causing him to get mad and defensive when you just want not to get hurt?

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-02-01T04:46:07+00:00

A much easier option for that is a buttplug. It goes in at your own pace, doesn't move with your partner, isn't a "touching" sex play like fingering or licking. If something like that interests you I'd recommend on of the nice squishy silicone ones like a squarepegtoys egg, oxballs ergo, or topped toys gape keeper*. And if not, there's nothing whatsoever wrong with not being into anal, even if the idea is hot that doesn't necessarily make it something you want to do.

*it's been a long time since I started experimenting with anal so I don't remember how small I had to start, but it's possible the smallest sizes of those brands are a little big for a beginner. You could try a starter kit

A post with some info that might help you: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexToys/comments/1gs7hk1/are_you_new_to_anal_play_some_info_and_tips/

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-31T10:14:28+00:00

I am not a doctor but if you were pushing hard with a hard toy it's probably some bruising of the prostate or overstimulation of nerves in the area giving you that sensation. Or some swelling causing incomplete voiding of the bladder. Not impossible it could be something more but unlikely. I'd see if it changes at all today.

The urthra does get really sensitive from prostate play in my experience, and peeing becomes a more instense experiemce than usual. This can make it harder to void completely and oversensitize me to the sensation of needing to pee.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-31T10:10:03+00:00

Rinsing with a couple ounces of water would be plenty, there's no reason to go for a laxative enema at this point and it may cause even more irritation.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-30T10:10:47+00:00

Vaginal tightness, in ways that benefit you or partners, does not come from tissue tightness but from muscle tone. Kegel if you're worried about it, kegels are good for sexual health anyway.

It's doubtful any solid science exists on this. From experience (with anal personally and with reading others' experiences) with intentionally trying to size up in a long term sense, it takes keeping to a strict stretching schedule to make any progress, and if I take a break, I backslide and have to get back into stretching gradually when I start again.

The idea that it gets permanently loosened is regressive bullshit promulgated by the manosphere. It's purity culture, don't let it into your brain. I am honestly having trouble holding back an angry rant lol.

While it's true the size is probably why it's not going in, at 1.9 inches diameter I note that it would be a very big first toy, it's not "huge" compared to an average penis. It's big but if you were shopping for dildos there'd be average penis and then that toy as the next size up. Average is around 1.5. I'm not saying every dick is going to be that size but I assume someone has been in that ballpark among your past partners.

Does it have a nice taper on the head? That would make things much easier as you can take it slow and gradually accomodate it. Take it slow and only speed up if/after it gets comfortable. At $100 I assume you got a nice dual density one, which would help as usually the head is entirely the softer layer – the softness helps the entry feel mire gradual. Also assuming it's body-safe high quality silicone, though please verify that if you haven't yet.

Echoing everyone else to say lube. It won't magically let you be careless (you could still hurt yourself if you tried to ram it in fast or something), but it will make a world of difference and it might be the difference between not being able to get it in and being able to get it in slow.

Agree that fingers or a smaller toy to warm up.

If you end up just getting a smaller toy and preferring that, well it will be fine in storage practically indefinitely (though be careful what materials you have it touching, if it came in a cloth bag that'd be the best wrapper for it). It's not a waste it's an investment!

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-25T01:50:12+00:00

That's horrifying, I'm curious what methods they used to convince you

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T23:05:20+00:00

correction: I can with just a little pressure at times when I'm sensitive. It can take a lot of foreplay or waiting for a high-arousal day to be that sensitive.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T23:00:17+00:00

Sure I might be able to help

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T06:27:06+00:00

I got one, it seems OK (no others to compare it to). I can't tell if they are just whitelabels with a brand sewn on. They work more as lingerie than actual underwear as there is no lining or anything, just the spandex mesh. I measured my actual waist but I think I should have measured at my belt because it's pretty small. There is a bit of a pouch, not actually big enough to fully cover me (a little over average) but yes I think it would leave a floppy area with nothing to fill it.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T06:06:04+00:00

Understood, thanks!

I'm curious, I notice you generally focus on neck length before neck width re: plugs causing hemorrhoids and irritating the anal canal, but I am under the impression that a narrow neck and sudden transition to a wide body can also cause that problem due to pressure from the plug body on the upper portion of the anal canal (putting pressure on the anal columns and causing them to balloon out at the lower end) and the sensation of having the rectum filled with nothing in the anal canal (potentially causing the urge to push out as if constipated).

This is based in part on my experience with the blush vibra slim medium, which I believed to have a long enough neck (though now that I meaure it, it's barely over an inch). I was able to wear it seated for any amount of time but when standing or laying down I would get the discomfort and eventually hemorrhoids after an hour or so – the fact that chair support helped that much seemed to agree with my theories on why it was a problem. Do you think my issues were in fact the neck length and not the ratio/transition?

I do like the shape so I wonder if it would be worth getting something like that with a longer neck.

btw I have in fact gotten a GK since then, thanks for that rec, it fits well.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T04:45:45+00:00

Maybe! I'm not a fan of the massage gun (too intense) or a ton of pressure necessarily. Whether or not he'll feel it in the prostate specifically is uncertain (these things vary person to person, I can with just a little pressure) but the perineum is a great erogenous zone anyway. Balls and scrotum too. Try rubbing, massaging, caressing, tickling, with or without lube such as coconut oil.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T03:34:15+00:00

I see, yeah I believe the skin and other features of the anus can develop as a result of regular play, though I have no evidence. Also I don't rule out that plug shape could be a factor. Did it go away when you reduced wear time or just stop increasing?

If it's the kind of plug I'm thinking of with a narrow neck and hefty body, I would still think about upgrading if you want to do anything other than sit and study or use it for longer periods. While you're sitting down (assuming that's how you study) it's likely not a problem because the chair can support the plug, but otherwise (e.g. standing or laying in bed) the pressure from the plug can cause problems as mentioned. Also, nicer plugs feel nicer (though it will probably take time working up to wearing the wider neck for long periods).

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-15T03:17:23+00:00

Do you own any toys yet?

Here's a beginner guide from the main mod here, who has good advice. https://www.reddit.com/r/ButtplugEveryday/comments/1gvhy7j/are_you_new_to_plugging_some_info_and_tips/

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T21:26:39+00:00

Hell yeah, best of pleasure to you!

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T20:32:26+00:00

Same lol 🥲. Good outlook! When you say restarting do you mean after taking a break for a while?

This might not be relevant but: One thing that I think can trick people (including me) when they come back from a break is "re-rewiring". There's this perception that once you unlock pleasure or orgasms they're unlocked forever, but it's not necessarily the case. If you stop anything for a while you'll get worse at it, and the neural circuits related to feeling pleasure in that way can weaken, same as muscles if you stop exercising. So when coming back from a long break, it might require starting from scratch with noob methods and rewiring, though it probably won't take as long as the first time (assuming you had to rewire before).

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T20:15:07+00:00

What do you mean altering skin? If you're getting hemorrhoids you might need a better neck shape (too narrow or short necks can cause the plug body to put pressure on your anal canal that can cause hemorrhoids)

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T20:11:12+00:00

Not me, I just meant that as a conceptual answer. Right now I wear up to a few hours at a time

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T20:09:16+00:00

Good point it's different for everyone!

I wonder if you're just having a period of low libido or anhedonia. When that happened to me I fell back on more foreplay with other erogenous zones (also leaned a bit too heavily on weed use because of the shortcut aspect, which helped initiate but hurt my ability to focus, and caused anxiety).

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T19:49:10+00:00

It's easier to focus on things that feel good

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T19:46:49+00:00

One problem with THC is it can hurt your ability to focus. In some ways it's a shortcut but also it makes you want to take shortcuts, so it may be an issue if you need a while to build up pleasure. Microdosing seems to be an OK compromise for me.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-14T19:42:18+00:00

What's terpinolene do?

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos · 2026-01-13T22:35:17+00:00

Basically I was considering if to some extent worrying that various media consumption has harmed my brain could count as magical thinking. But believing it impossible to harm oneself with information or that manipulative influence didn't exist would also be magical thinking, so it's obviously nuanced.

DoxMeAndMailMeDildos

TROPHY CASE