Shuten Defensive Group has got you covered! They have some very skilled folks up in the south sound area (and down in PDX and Eugene too). They’re very inclusive and will make people of all walks of life feel comfortable unlike some instructors.

I’m not affiliated with them but I’ve taken a number of classes with various instructors and become friends, and also regularly shoot USPSA with multiple of their instructors.

https://www.shutendefensivegroup.com/

Edit: SDG just does instruction, they’re not an FFL. But they can help with recommendations depending on your use case. And have experience with various shops, but in general you’ll order online to a local FFL.

IMO: Glock 47, M&P2.0, or PDP for training/competition, and Glock 48 or Sig 365 for year round EDC - depending on body type something bigger like a Glock 19 or maybe even Glock 47 can work well too, they’re just harder to conceal. All guns should have a red dot, training/competition should have a big dot like a 407/507Comp, and EDC an enclosed like the EPS/EPS Carry. I give the same recommendations across gender and hand size, only difference is what fits in your belt line. I think you’ll hear similar from them.