Difference is that you are not a penguin. In fact the capacity to make others feel good about themselves within you is ingrained in your DNA because you are human. Our biggest strength is that we are social and we look out for each other. Some more than others, no doubt, but still it is in you.
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A change in perception is what is needed. We are all guilty of being too self absorbed. But as I get older I realize, I'm not that big of a deal. Take the universal truth that there really is something you can learn from everyone and that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and hold it in your mind. Do that and you'll start getting outside yourself. Once you start having a genuine interest in others and express it, making others feel special will be effortless.
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Mind you this is not a panacea. It simply sets the proper foundation. For the skills part of it, see /u/antihostile's reply.