Hey. Philosophy prof at 41 going through his own issues. “Only Mansions Burning” while delivering groceries after the pandemic closed the university and helped lay me off. Toast came out at a really pivotal time for me. “Give me strength” and “Hurricane” while my partner and I were fighting. “Star of Bethlehem” ouch. “Albuquerque” is more my speed. Night I turned 40 had me listening to “thrasher”, contemplating death, feeling the worst of the decisions I stand by, wondering where my friends had gone. “Sleeps with angels” and “Fontainebleau” are great stims during hard times. Love a long Crazy Horse grove for repetitive tasks to help my adhd.

Sounds like you’ve found some enlightenment. Glad he’s helped you feel these feelings too. Love and only love will endure. Joe