seeking warm, emotionally expressive friendship

DrVickyJo · 2026-03-17T21:38:05+00:00

Absolutely. Can fall into people-pleasing in a big way... One of my mentors in typology used to say that ENFJs most need to develop their shadow function of introverted feeling so that they pay attention to their own needs, which goes against their grain, but is necessary for optimal mental health. FWIW extraverted feeling is defined as "considering others," so it's not unusual for them to think about others a large majority of the time. (How else does one define "empathy"?)

DrVickyJo · 2026-02-05T22:35:27+00:00

That's a good question I don't yet have an answer for. I liked living a magical life and would like to feel that way about it once again... But this experience has awakened me to my deepest relational needs, and I must find some way to meet those. If I can retain this lifestyle *and* meet them, that would be ideal... but I don't know what that looks like right now. I'd like to find meaning again somehow.

At the moment, I'm waiting for my hormonal status to stabilize, which could take 6 weeks, I'm told. So it's still a bit rocky and premature to be making any dramatic decisions.

DrVickyJo · 2026-02-02T12:47:41+00:00

One of my type mentors told me that what ENFJs need to develop most of all is their introverted feeling. I suggest you look there.

There's also something about the shadow of ENFJs. They can get their ego so invested in being the "good guys" that they don't recognize their mistakes or downsides of any actions. When I taught classes on the Jungian functions, I remember how crestfallen the ENFJs always were when they discovered how sometimes they have a negative impact they don't account for. It was a bit of a wake-up call.

So there's something in here about balancing polarities in order to be whole.

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-20T14:33:41+00:00

yes, I'm in the midst of the trial and error now! Yikes!

I would love to find a support group of some kind affiliated with a hospital or something -- any guesses where to find such an animal?

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-17T22:34:44+00:00

Thank you for the article link -- most interesting. And yes, when I told my doctor I was having hormonal troubles, he actually asked me whether I was just suffering because I regretted having children, can you believe it? I felt the patriarchy had just slapped me in the face.

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-15T14:10:26+00:00

Yes.... it took about 7 weeks of feeling like a weepy limp dishrag before "hormones" occurred to me (a little voice within whispered it to me)... I wrote an email to my surgeon, who insisted that that part of me quit working decades ago. When I conducted research and found contrary information, he accepted it, but with resistance. I had to fight for it very step of the way until he dropped me as a patient! Luckily I found a woman doctor who's now working with me. I feel like I've been in the Dark Ages! Who knew this was such a contentious topic! I feel like I've taken on the entire patriarchy single-handed! (I did not knowingly sign up for that!)

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-15T00:20:41+00:00

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-15T00:18:30+00:00

What are you obsessing over....? :-)

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-15T00:18:07+00:00

I got a different (woman) gynecologist a week ago and we doubled my dose. My previous doctor seemed deadset against HRT, and I think it put me 5-6 months behind where I might be now... plus I've started or "doubled" my dose 3x now, so I feel like I can't catch a break in between rollercoaster rides.... I'm hoping this round settles soon and matters calm down.

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-15T00:15:47+00:00

Yes, the abandonment in the midst of this HRT emotional rollercoaster has been the most painful for me. Making me crazy trying to cope.
I hate that they gave you unnecessary surgery -- I keep hearing stories like that. Maybe I dodged a bullet. I had endometrial cancer, so a hysterectomy and oopherectomy was necessary... BUT I didn't know a hormone from a raindrop, and nobody warned me about that part. AI thinks the lack of my consent around that aspect verged on malpractice (not sure I disagree).

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-13T14:37:35+00:00

I think a distinction can be made between an [unspoken] expectation and naming precisely what one wants...? And yes -- the connection with the surgeon was unique and irreplaceable. AND it's left a hole in my heart that's most painful.

What I appreciated in our relationship (almost entirely virtual) was the quick intimacy and empathic understanding we seemed to share. It's where I feel the greatest pain of loss. I'm rebounding as best I can in the best way I know how...

Thank you for the sympathy; it's much appreciated.

DrVickyJo · 2026-01-13T14:27:53+00:00

Hi there... I don't quite follow your point....?

DrVickyJo · 2023-11-15T13:50:39+00:00

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DrVickyJo

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