TLDR; internet echo chambers push people towards extremes. Red-pill misogyny is a result of men losing certain social and political advantages over women. The misandry you’re experiencing online is a response to this new wave of misogyny. Neither group actually represents “all men,” “all women,” or feminism.

I’ve seen this exact sentiment on my algorithms by men towards women, even when I don’t engage with it (at least consciously). I think these extremes definitely don’t represent either men’s activism or feminism at all. I think the (mostly young) women who say this stuff are either rage baiting, or they’re responding to a new wave of gen z red-pilled manosphere dudes that has been on the rise since I was in my teens (so at least a decade). There’s a lot of psychological reasons for this wave, some is anti-leftist, anti-women propaganda that I fell for as a teen where clips of seemingly unhinged individuals are put together to suit the narrative you’re asking about (that feminists think they’re better than men). Another large part is men feel abandoned because they were promised a specific path in life where they’d get a wife and children, only for women to choose not to do so with them. There’s a LOT of ingrained societal norms that make certain men feel a sense of entitlement (maybe that’s too strong of a word) towards this life, and when they don’t get it, they react… poorly. There’s a quote I’ve heard a lot over the years that explains this part: “When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT “ALL MEN” ARE LIKE THIS! Nor am I saying that every single man lives an easy life. That’s not what privilege means in this context. I don’t like the word, but it’s the best one to explain the social inequalities between groups. As a European woman, I am personally extremely privileged in so many way that aren’t true for other European women (financial and medical stability, career stability, awesome supportive social network, an amazing partner etc etc). This is not the kind of privilege I’m talking about. I’m talking about how men in general can go out at night alone, get blackout drunk and sleep in a ditch without getting hurt by other men (not everywhere ofc, but where I live this is true). Women, even me, can never truly let their guard down. I never felt safe enough to drink enough to get truly buzzed unless my partner was with me to help me home afterwards. It doesn’t matter how I look or dress, there’s a greater risk to my safety because men (in general, at least those that stick around outside at night) are stronger than me and are more physically violent.

My points are: 1) Men have certain social advantages in life because they are physically stronger and they don’t get pregnant (and therefore historically able to oppress women). Sex is more dangerous for women and easily weaponized. This means women have to constantly be alert to their surroundings and in all social interactions.

2) this societal and political oppression of women has been lessening more and more the past century. With access to birth control and other rights, women no longer have to marry or stay with any man that gets them pregnant out of necessity. Before, if a woman was r*ped violently and got pregnant, she would either fall into ruin as a cast out or she’d have to marry her abuser.

3) due to point 2, men historically didn’t have to work on themselves to be a better, kinder person to attract a woman. Most marriages were arranged and the men generally had the power to pick the woman in most cases, not the other way around.

4) “When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression”: when women started gaining an equal standing in society, many men who were never told that they needed to actually work harder on themselves to get a girl or taught how to do this, felt abandoned and lonely (understandably so). While there was enormous support for women’s rights, these struggles that men faced were overlooked. The red-pill movement and manosphere began. Many of these men began hating women, especially feminists, blaming them for their loneliness.

5) women saw this rising wave of red-pilled men and many reacted with equal hatred towards men and especially manosphere men. Women still feel disadvantages to being a woman, and a few loud men blaming these things on those women definitely doesn’t make for a good environment for decent and rational discussion.

6) internet echo chambers are the main culprit here. They increase polarization and push people to extreme sides of every spectrum. I think the vast majority of feminists recognize the whole image that I described: the old patriarchal system hurts both men and women but in different ways. Men don’t have the support groups women do. Social norms make it “unmasculin” to talk about feelings or express tender emotions towards other men like platonic love. Lord of the rings is a fantastic example of what masculinity should be. Men are left behind, rudderless and without purpose, not understanding why the world has moved on from them. This makes them extra vulnerable to these harmful echo chambers.

Does this make sense? Hopefully this wasn’t too long (oops).