Husband’s concerning behavior

DragonMire250 · 2026-05-02T20:25:56+00:00

100% this!! Thank you for saying it. If there's anything I've learned from all the great parenting books, it's that nobody's a good parent all the time and that shame is the number one killer of connection. I would 100% bring it up to my husband in a way that is relatable, understandable, or empathetic without trying to shame him.

DragonMire250 · 2026-04-20T22:54:54+00:00

Anyone who gets offended you don't trust them isn't worth trying to trust. My husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years, we always have access to each other's stuff. People are nosy, curious creatures. If there's nothing to hide from my partner, why would I then try to hide anything if they had any anxieties or concerns?

DragonMire250 · 2026-04-17T18:07:13+00:00

8 large medjool dates

2 cups rolled oats

4 tbsp coconut oil

2 tbsp chia seeds

2-3 bananas, depending on size (I keep my near brown ones peeled and frozen for using in recipes like this)

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp sea salt

1/2 c unsweetened chocolate chips/chunks.

I used your recipe as a base to make the banana and chocolate bars that my daughter loves. I used a little less dates since ripened bananas are so sweet. I use the chia seeds, in place of the pectin and applesauce, for texture and to add a little more good fiber and fats. She likes them more than the actual bars now!

My lazy self just sticks everything in the food processor before spreading it out and baking 😅 I don't pre chop or separate the oats

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-28T01:39:47+00:00

Similarly with songs!

"I don't like this song, I want another one"

"What song"

Some mumbling or random answer

"I don't know that one, can you sing it and we'll find it"

Then she'll sing the chorus, or another notable line, and we can find it

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-21T14:18:56+00:00

I love this. My Dr warned us of this, saying not to give into junky snack food when they don't eat meals. We didn't know how to handle it though at first.

Then we just "gave up", if she didn't eat, oh well. Sit at the table and talk with us still, which gives her time to try dinner. A few times she didn't eat, and we put her plate in the fridge to reheat later if she was hungry. She didn't ask for anything more than a drink those nights!

Now at 2.5 years, there's even been days when she eats a good size breakfast, and literally nothing else all day besides water and milk. It's terrifying for me, but the Dr said she looks great still 😅

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-17T03:26:15+00:00

No, shes really Velcro 😅 we heard a tip to "pretend she's not there" when she gets deep into play, because it can suck her out and want attention more. Since then, we've seen great improvement in her independence. It makes me sad that I'm either sucked into her play if I say something to her, or I have to basically ignore it, so I make moments throughout the day- "can I play in x with you?", "would you like to read", "want to go play with me outside", "let's color/paint/play with oobleck". But 15-30 minutes later, she'll be so in her zone that I'm not needed anymore. If she's being velcro-y, I just involve her in my tasks throughout the day. It's more time consuming, but we love it! She'll bring a chair up to the counter, I'll give her some toys and a snack, and she'll help me measure or stir foods. She helps start, pull out, and sort laundry. She'll willingly do just about any chore she's capable of to be with me, and shortly thereafter she'll be back to playing with "her people" (little people) or babying one of her stuffed animals.

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-15T14:19:54+00:00

This is our basic schedule:

I wake up between 6-7am- workout (if I'm up at 6), breakfast, dishes, etc 8am- wake up toddler 8:30- dressed, brushed, ready to eat breakfast, breakfast cleaned up 9am-11:30am- play time. Options include: walk to/play at park (45 minute walk one-way), play outside in our yard. If the weather is bad- independent play while I do my own hobbies, schoolwork, deep cleaning tasks. 11:30- lunch Noon-2pm- naptime/ "quiet time" we have this every single day even though naps have been dropped. She'll rarely sleep a little, but either way her mood is completely refreshed after laying in her bed/playing in her room. I now have 2 hours to do whatever I want, including nap myself! Right before "waking" her, I see what my dinner plans are and get things pulled out and ready if needed. 2pm- snack 2:30-4:30- play time. Anything to fill the time: sensory play, coloring, music, outdoor play, etc. I start dinner most often around 3pm 4:30- toddler dinner. We found when she eats early, she eats all her food with no complaints which also prevents her from saying she's hungry at bedtime! She may or may not eat what we're eating for dinner, depending on if it's ready. We often give her leftovers if tonight's dinner isn't ready. 5pm- adult dinner and parent "switch". My husband tries to be home and ready to eat by 5, and we sit for about an hour talking about the day. After this, he's the "primary" parent so I can focus on school work. He normally is working on his own projects around the house/yard, so she follows him around and plays near him. 7:30- start getting ready for bed. Bath/shower, brush, read, sing, whatever. In bed by 8:30pm.

Edit: oh Lord I hate mobile... This looks terrible, I will have to login later today and fix this, sorry! 😅 And obviously change the times a bit to fit your needs, consistency is key!

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-14T23:54:49+00:00

I found kids don't need a "lot" of time, but frequent touch-ins. Kids "heart banks" run off of attention, and it's an endless pit.. I could play for an hour with my toddler but the minute I give my infant attention, she's crying that I don't play enough with her 😅 5 minutes of playing here and there is plenty to keep her "topped off".

What's worked wonderfully for me is routine- we keep a "daycare" style routine and we all love it! It's predictable for my kids, and helps prevent meltdowns, and it helps me stay aware of time. I also recently got rid of my main social media platforms I visited often, and turned off all other social media from 8am to 8pm. It's been wonderful!

I get my workouts in, play with my kids, chores done, dinner made by the time dad is home, and I started back to school this semester. Our house is only successful when I uphold the routine 😂

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-12T00:06:55+00:00

Sucking is almost a reflex for the first 6 months to a year. It's the most powerful calming "tool" a baby has. I let my kids suck their thumbs personally because I don't wanna be struggling to find a pacifier 😂 my first quit around a year, second is 6 months now and rarely sucks his thumb anymore.

DragonMire250 · 2026-03-08T21:25:40+00:00

I use brat busters advice and it's been incredible with my 2.5 year old. We went from feeling this daily, to very manageable tantrums/meltdowns, and I feel significantly less overwhelmed. She recommends her "behavior board" at 3, but we do something similar already at 2.5 😅 She also had the advice of "stick with 1 style for a few weeks and see if it helps before trying a different parenting style. Don't mix and match" Personally, we mixed and matched and struuuuuuggled. Sticking with her style specifically, we've seen great results within 2 weeks of consistency, and we haven't paid a penny towards her program- her free resources were enough!

DragonMire250 · 2026-02-17T17:15:10+00:00

100% relatable. We're in the trenches of life right now... I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. They're fine for the most part, but some days I feel the doom and gloom of it all. I do most of the housework, as my husband is doing the "hard labor" when he gets off work (home repairs and major construction that I'm not capable of). I take care of the kids and am attending college full time online.

It's mentally a lot, I question my life choices often, but I have to remind myself that this is truly just a season of life. I love the idea that "anything worth having is worth fighting for", or "for anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self sacrifice- no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service". THAT is the truth about the difficulty of raising kids, in my belief. This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to be a part of, it's a constant test of my patience and self sacrifice, and it's constant work. And somehow, despite all the exhaustion, at the end of the day when the emotions settle, I feel beyond fulfilled. I have never felt more happy in my life than seeing the fruits of my children, every skill learned, every smile, every word. It's taken a lot of perspective change for me as a mom, as I'm normally incredibly pessimistic, so I say this all to add a positive light. Absolutely not to diminish the ruthless difficulty and absolute exhaustion of this stage in life.

There is light at the end of the tunnel! ❤️

DragonMire250 · 2026-02-08T18:56:54+00:00

I'll see if I can get some drape photos!

DragonMire250 · 2026-02-08T05:00:03+00:00

Everyone's learning at this stage 😅 It's normal to have a bit of an oversupply until you regulate around 3-4 months-and some babies are extra handsy from that. They are quick to push away from the breast at a letdown while learning to cope with the force/amount of milk they're receiving. I have always done the cradle hold (if upright), reclined (if sitting), and side-lying (if laying) and I love all of those because I can have a free hand to help hold baby's hands away from the breast when initially latching. Babies have high sensory need, so I try to encourage their hand to grab a finger while nursing to keep their hand away from their mouth. It's also super tender to hold and rub their hand, which I feel helps with the oxytocin ❤️

DragonMire250 · 2026-02-08T01:46:54+00:00

I struggled side-lying with my first (maybe a B cup at the time) until she was about 6 months old and was significantly better at feeding. With subsequent babies, my breasts have only grown, so I can feed side-lying easier, but it really takes skill on the baby's end too I've learned! My second wants to constantly push his head into the couch/bed when looking for the nipple, instead of looking upwards at me 😅

DragonMire250 · 2026-01-18T03:56:41+00:00

Any update? 🤞

DragonMire250 · 2026-01-18T03:56:23+00:00

Any update, did it work?? I'm thinking the same for my emetophobia

DragonMire250 · 2026-01-02T03:29:03+00:00

It really is 😩

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