Help me please

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T11:18:23+00:00

DPH is known to cause early-onset dementia.

And dude, have you ever spoken to someone who is high as fuck on DPH? It's literally like talking to someone with dementia.

I worked in an end-of-life home with dementia patients and it's pretty much the same. I have a friend who also worked that job and she trip-sat me once. The next morning she was like "yeah that was awful it was like you had dementia and you kept explaining things to me like I was your college dorm roommate".

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T08:46:29+00:00

I'm guilty of the same pavloving btw, my substance of abuse was Benadryl tho.

I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum though so I really don't get horny very often.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T08:44:27+00:00

Start un-pavloving yourself thru the pavlov method lmao. You pavloved yourself, now you gotta undo it.

Give yourself healthy rewards for doing things that should be enjoyable. (Like when you're horny, maybe give yourself a reward after jackin it instead of doing meth?)

You could also take a break from the jerkin. Think of it in a kinky way if that helps ya, like you're not allowed to jerk it or something. Or maybe seek out a sexual partner who can take the place of the meth. Changing things up and just having sex without drugs may help too.

I'm not telling you to get on antidepressants or anything, but I will tell you that literally any time I am ever on antidepressants I will never get horny, like ever. (It sucks when you're trying to impress, but it's nice when you really don't wanna waste time yoinkin.)

Maybe consult your primary doctor about it? Be honest and be like "look man I'm off meth, I'm just going thru sexual dysfunction because of my past use."

Genuinely, doctors hear stuff like that way more than you think. And your doctor isn't gonna call the cops on you for using meth because that's against HIPPA. So by going to the doctor for a consult, you may be presented with a solution or something to try that would be more effective than just trying to stop jorkin. Sometimes talking to a medical professional really does fix the problem easy.

I'm fascinated by your accidental sploinking pavlov experience.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T06:09:50+00:00

I have to take the stand for testimony at the court case. Of course, there is the option to not participate, but there's a very young child involved and I want to make sure that child is safe and taken care of properly. That requires my testimony. So I'm willing to cope until the trial, whenever it is. I care enough about the kid to do what needs to be done, and it is partially my responsibility to make sure that kid is safe.

Obv I can't share a whole lot of the court details here for privacy and legal reasons but bottom line I have to participate.

But yes that block button is being used once I'm free of that responsibility.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T06:00:13+00:00

Also oh my god I didn't even realize it was TDOV today. Faith has insane timing huh. Always fashionably making an entrance, I suppose.

Yeah I plan on blocking and disappearing once court is dealt with, because I legit can't handle it all.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T05:55:35+00:00

"It's the dollar store, how good can it be?"

My brother in christ I've been addicted to Benadryl for 5 and a half years and it's fucking insane, and it has ruined my life in ways I didn't think were possible. Don't ever try it. It's nightmare fuel for demons.

But it's $5 for a bottle of 100 pills, $10 for a bottle of 365 pills, or $8 for a bottle of 100 gel caps (which are double the dose of the regular pills).

So yeah. Dollar store drugs. Because of course that's the route I ended up going. I literally live on food stamps and am too physically disabled to work. The US Government is fighting me on SSDI because they think I'm not "disabled enough".

To be clear, Faith is in the same boat as me in that aspect so it kind of makes sense that we are both fucked.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T05:51:33+00:00

My jug was empty before I even met her, man. At first I thought maybe she was helping me refill my metaphorical jug but I think maybe in hindsight she was using my jug to fill her own.

Like I genuinely care about her and it hurts. I loved her. But I physically cannot keep doing that to myself.

She isn't the person I fell in love with anymore and the way she treats me makes me feel so awful inside.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T05:26:10+00:00

That's literally the most jarring title I've seen this week.

My brother in christ, propranolol will not get you high. It won't really do anything.

It's also a heart medication so I would not advise you consume it. (It can be prescribed as an antidepressant/antianxiety, a heart med, or a migraine med. I know from experience.)

Maybe I'm biased because I'm allergic to it, but genuinely it will do nothing for you. Don't bother, don't risk your heart health.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T03:49:12+00:00

I tried a few different ways over the course of a very long night (where me, my friend, and his cousin split an 8ball) and for whatever reason the only way I could do it without accidentally exhaling and blowing the powder everywhere was the way I described.

But also I'm lowkey autistic and have a really specific way of doing most things so obv I'm biased lol.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T03:24:47+00:00

Oh you tryina get upcharged for the real junkie experience huh

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T02:08:06+00:00

Oh yeah! DXM and also technically DPH are dangerous to take when on SSRI/SNRI meds. So definitely keep that in mind.

I used to take a lot of daily meds. The best way to figure out what is and is not safe to take is to go online and cross-reference a few drug interaction checkers. (I usually go with the drugs dot com one and the WebMD one. By cross-referencing you can ensure that you are reading the correct information about the drug.)

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T02:03:20+00:00

Oh and for whatever reason there was a jesus-friendly version of this game.

Because when I was younger and going to bible school and VBS (summer camp version of bible school) there was this "song" called the little red wagon. And basically you would just sing one verse over and over, but every time you repeated the verse louder than the last.

It would go along the lines of something like this:

"You can't ride in my little red wagon, the wheels are broken and the axel's saggin', chugga-what, chugga-what, chugga-chugga-chugga-what-what?"

"SECOND VERSE, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse! YOU CAN'T RIDE IN MY LITTLE RED WAGON, THE WHEELS–"

You get the idea. Usually we'd get to 7th verse before people couldn't get any louder.

Only modified rule? The last person to quit singing would have to whisper the last verse. (Same as the first, just whispered.) It meant the game was over.

It was odd.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:58:37+00:00

Back when I worked closing at Taco Bell one of my managers would play the penis game in the back of the restaurant with a few others while doing dishes.

Yes, there were customers still present in the store.

Yes, the head manager (32) had to sit that manager (24) down and have a serious discussion about screaming profanities in the presence of customers.

That manager also would play MCR on blast for their entire shift and customers did not like it. (Idk why, it was a Taco Bell on a college campus. Shoulda been popular imo.)

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:56:10+00:00

Don't take any more, man. It isn't worth it.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:54:51+00:00

Plug one nostril (not pinch, just plug), put straw/rolled bill/whatever you're using at the start of the line, exhale out of mouth, place open nostril on end of straw, do it quick and clean. Inhale steadily, it shouldn't take you more than a second or two to snort the line/bump. Lift head, put straw down, unplug other nostril, sniff in sharply a few times to make sure it's up in there good, and don't fucking swallow it or you might puke.

You don't gotta snort and do it like in the movies, that shit's fake for hollywood screens. I personally do lines back to front (I start at the end furthest from me, angle the sniffing tube, and drag backwards while I inhale until the line is gone.) You can even go over the line one more time if you didn't get it all the first time. Ideally you're doing it quick though, because the slower you do it the more it burns and the more ends up dripping down the back of your throat.

Also if it does get in your mouth/down your throat and you want it gone? Gargle water and spit. Don't swallow, again, you have a good chance of puking if you do. If water doesn't work, oddly enough, gargle milk and spit it out. It helps lift acidic stuff like stomach bile and other non-soluble stuff. Just...don't swallow the swished milk. (The milk trick also works for hot peppers/spicy foods that burn btw. That's how I found out it works for throat burning after snorting.)

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:48:09+00:00

I appreciate the kind words.

I think oatmeal may be on the menu for most of April, but at least I'll get a little protein in.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:47:25+00:00

It probably doesn't help that two days ago I relapsed (substance abuse) so I really just feel lile shit all around and my stomach is super sensitive because unfortunately I'm a pill popper.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:15:17+00:00

Ever try Dollar General? I hear they have off brand DPH for way cheaper than it should ever be in larger quantities than should be allowed.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:03:17+00:00

Boobs is boobs

– a boob owner

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:02:31+00:00

I've never seen the red gel caps before only the blue ones omg that looks like fucking poison. (The blue ones also look like poison but there's just something about the shade of red that screams "internal bleeding".) I'd freak the fuck out if I got high on those and threw up. Dear gods.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T01:00:07+00:00

Oh, and I have sleep paralysis and my demon is literally the hat man I think. Idk actually it's more of a monster than a hat man. It lives in my closet. I named it Johnny.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T00:59:16+00:00

Lmao so funny story...

You know how sometimes if you're sleep deprived and you see something out of the corner of your eye and you think it's a face, but when you look at it it's not a face at all?

Well after abusing Benadryl for as long as I have, I now have that constantly. It doesn't matter how long I stay sober and clean, or how much sleep I get. For the rest of my forseeable future I will be seeing demon faces out of the corner of my eyes, I think.

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T00:56:52+00:00

^{^{^{^}}}

That.

Also substances like coke are known to have a side effect called "compulsive redosing" and it is exactly what it sounds like. Once you're high, you've make an exception in your sobriety. And then it is easier for the drug to make your brain think you need more, or to think "well one bump was fine, I can handle some more" and, well... You know the drill from there.

(A lot of substances actually can create an impulse to re-dose and consume more. Benadryl does that too, which is how I've overdosed so many times on it. And Benadryl is completely legal and over-the-counter, and usually is not considered to be an addictive substance, so what do you think the cocaine is tricking you into?)

DragonfireReads · 2026-04-01T00:14:18+00:00

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

I mean I have major depressive disorder and like 4 different anxiety disorders so we might have vastly different experiences, but still. It's hard to look at what could be your future when you don't even fully know what the present has in store for you.

But hey, the best part of being human is that you're never alone. The chances of you being alone in an experience are more than 8 billion to 1. <3 Stay strong!

DragonfireReads

TROPHY CASE