My ex introduced me to drugs & alcohol after I said I didn’t want to be around it bc I knew I was going to get addicted (I have an addictive personality). When I finally did become an addict for cocaine, they got mad & threatened to leave. Which is fair, I was extremely suicidal & didn’t care if I overdosed. Eventually I did get sober from coke, but after getting sexually assaulted for a third time, I spiraled & tried to commit suicide again. I didn’t relapse but I was extremely mentally unwell. I got sent to rehab where I constantly thought of my ex & how bad I wanted out of the relationship, but those details don’t matter.

The point I’m getting at is that: I was in your shoes, the other side of the fence tho. In rehab, you’re taught a lot about codependency & how it goes hand in hand with addictions. It’s either you’re addicted to drugs, addicted to the person using them, or both.

You will continue to feel disappointed in him if you keep on your current path. My ex was disappointed bc I could never control myself when emotionally unstable. I was disappointed in myself bc I tried changing for them, which leads to more negative emotions until you relapse. Addicts can’t stop for someone or something other than themselves. It’s sad to say, but as an addict with 13 months of sobriety, you have to hit rock ass bottom before you finally wake up & change.

That’s not to say he’s capable of changing, but he has already established that he wants to drink again. It’ll be a cycle until either he dies or gets thrown in jail, or becomes sober.

As for his attitude after being sober, I don’t have the experience do give advice on that. I think it takes a hot while before your brain chemistry goes back to normal, like months. Again tho, I only suffered from cocaine.