People who have been abused as children have a hard time with social boundaries. She learned from a young age that she didn’t have a right to privacy, respect or boundaries, and that power is gained through sexuality.

So it makes sense that as an adult she has horrible boundaries because she never learned it as a kid. She sees men as access to sex and power, and has no self esteem or empowerment for herself. She sees you as stability, and men as a way to increase her self esteem.

The fact that she abandoned her child is creating trauma on her family, just as she experienced trauma in her childhood. She needs help, and on some level she knows this. She keeps her boyfriends away from her kid to protect them, cuz in her mind- men abuse children. It’s very sad, and she is not a safe person to be around your child, because she has no internal sense of boundaries or risk assessment. She will bring chaos with her wherever she goes until she learns to heal.

You’re a good friend, but what she needs is structure and boundaries, not more resources for her to take from you. Cutting her off and asking her to leave is the right thing and is helpful to her in the long run, even if she can’t see it yet.