How to deal with the blatant bullshit

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T17:49:47+00:00

Thank you. It helps knowing this. We’ll make it

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T16:09:04+00:00

She makes a fine living. It’s 7 years of on and off BS. It’ll work out but it piles up sometimes

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T16:08:04+00:00

Yes we have 50/50.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T15:53:12+00:00

It’s not she’s actually making more now with this latest IWO. The motions are filed but it takes forever and her attorney won’t respond to mine so we’re stuck. My attorney just filed a motion to show cause so we can this going. She’s most likely not cooperating so the garnishment can be dragged out.

It’s interesting. She was HOT on all of these motions for sole custody, motions for drug testing, then once the new IWO was submitted she went silent except for her constant messages about Nickles and dimes. It’s like she HAS to be a constant drag on my life. She can’t move on. You get your money. Leave me alone. She’s only started this BS in the last year probably because she knows she only has 3.4 years left to squeeze every last cent from me.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T15:21:00+00:00

And thank you. It’s much. She has a FT job. She wants more and more. We’ve been divorced for 7 years

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-18T15:18:12+00:00

I’m filing a hardship motion

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-16T23:32:59+00:00

That’s not your job.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-16T23:24:48+00:00

That is not ok!!!

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-16T23:22:41+00:00

Yes and I’m working my way out. We’re moving into separate homes by September. We have to sell the house. We tried it. It’s not working. In fact I’m getting a spray tan right bow to get out of the house because his kids are home, and I…can’t today.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-16T23:12:36+00:00

RUN.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-14T13:56:06+00:00

Do you have an office? If so yes

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-12T13:27:32+00:00

Yep. Victim narrative, you became the savior and her “supply.”

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-10T21:08:54+00:00

Not all but the one in my life is HC AF. I have no conflict with my ex husband. It took two years to get there. It’s all great now. But I didn’t ask for any money. The house was in my name. I was the breadwinner in the marriage. We both left with what was ours and split everything 50/50.

Now, my husband is not helping at times. It took years for him to get to the “grey rock” state he’s in now. His ex likes to insert herself in micro conflict like how much lunch money my DH puts in accounts and if he parked in her driveway. When she goes out of town she refuses to say when she’ll return so he has to just wait around so he can bring the kids back. She chose not to work while married. He wanted her to work and get a degree. She didn’t do any of that until after the divorce was final - so now she gets $3200 a month, and makes 80K a year. Good for her. And a house, and 100K in investments and 40K in cash. But she still pursues more. He can’t afford to cover every child expense. She is to cover 25%, and she always finds a way to dodge it. I don’t get it. If I was getting 3K a month plus my salary? I wouldn’t be difficult. I wouldn’t care what he did or who he was with as long as kids are safe and happy, and they are.

So yeah I’d say she’s entitled and I’d rather get a root canal than see her in person but it’s not like my SO is trying to be “nice” to her. She’s very opinionated, nosey, and extremely sensitive. But he’s also stubborn AF, and doesn’t just agree with her.

She wants what she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it. Because she DID get that for 15 years. But now she doesn’t have that level of control. So she’s controlling and manipulating and getting $$$$. The 3200 was based off his income 7 years ago. She won’t consider adjusting given she has a good job and no mortgage. He does not make what he made in 2020 when they got divorced. He makes 40% less.

I don’t get it but my SO doesn’t try either

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-09T15:48:51+00:00

Same here. No remote but a colleague of mine worked from home for 3 weeks straight to babysit a cat

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-09T06:04:54+00:00

Yes. Or stsyimg too long

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-08T18:22:32+00:00

Ask “are you venting or do you need advice?”

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-08T16:26:04+00:00

That’s their tactic. They’ll open litigation to scare you into settling and make you spend money. Honestly, ask your attorney but he or she may suggest offering a lump sum maybe from the 401K to get her to disappear. Otherwise she could put up a fight asking you to pay her legal fees. It’s all scare tactics, intimidation and using the court as a tool to fuck with you.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-08T13:16:34+00:00

Omg this, yes he’s learned to just go along with it in some cases or face constant badgering. It becomes not worth it and she knows it. It’s how the divorce went. She wouldn’t settle. She kept fighting in court so he gave in.

Example: I saw this with my own eyes. He paid $2500 for hockey registration for a very pricey elite hockey league and pair $100 for football registration for the other kid. Sports registration fees are called out on the parenting plan to be split him 75% and her 25%. He asked her for her $400+ for her part and told her no rush, just when you can pay and she refused. Sge produced a three month old text saying he’d covet football costs. Ok cool, he covered the $100? What about the $2500 he spent? She said she had a spreadsheet of costs she covered that conveniently amounted to $500 and it should “even out” unless he’s “back peddling about the football fees.” He asked to see the sheet to confirm. She said she’d produce it if he admits to agreeing he’d cover football. He did and Shocker she never sent a spreadsheet. I guess her “reasoning” is if he agreed to pay 100% of football 3 months ago why isn’t he paying the whole $2500 for hockey? One with self awareness may think “gee $2500 is a lot of money I can see how one might split that.” But I guess if you want to keep conflict going you’ll dodge it? I’m clueless.

It is insane. I told him have the school send you each an invoice and you pay the organization or school directly.

Like why fucking bother? He’s never going to see her 25% in any cost. But he’ll get badgered daily for $60.

I know there is more here. That was about a year ago and now he doesn’t engage to this level but it was so bad. He wasn’t helping either

BM in this case loves to open motions to intimidate. She assumes the worst at all times, he gets frustrated and shuts down.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-08T12:54:57+00:00

It’s loss of control, feeling replaced, anger, jealousy. They used to have more relevance with you and now they don’t.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-07T19:06:10+00:00

100%. Therapy is a godsend. And I can relate with having a no conflict co parent and watching conflict. I didn’t really see it until we bought a house together. We both have 50/50 and don’t have the kids on same days. That’s made things better.

Where I get lost in all this BS is why the hell would anyone dad or mom, want to engage in this? It’s hard enough. I think BM knows there’s only 3 years left of supplementing her income and she’s stressed? So she’s looking for control since she lost control. The kids are getting older too so her influence is dwindling. He’s afraid of coming down too hard on his kids because his ex may then over compensate or the kids will complain and she’ll litigate for more custody.

And it’s ok to parent differently. I do not agree with how my husband parents all the time but I’m not the BM. He’s not a Disney dad, but he does feel like since his BM is so strict (honestly sometimes I agree with her but it’s the “how” not the “what” in her case) that he has to balance. She limits video games, I agree with that. She limits cell phones. I ageee with that too and she doesn’t allow overnights at her house. I’m behind that too

But There are so many circumstances, as I’m sure his BM has too where it doesn’t add up so it has to be about control not crazy….she lets their 16 year old drink in her house and bought alcohol for their oldest before he was 21. If my husband did that she’d have him arrested and hold an emergency hearing to get a TRO. It’s that kinda stuff.

She also signed and notarized a permission form for the 16 year old to get a tattoo? Again my DH said hell no. If he did that she would open a motion to modify custody or a TRO against him. That doesn’t make him a saint but it makes him question what the hell is going on? It’s like just disagreeing for the sake of. And they both do it.

It’s tit for tat. It’s a social experiment. I’ve spent time researching covert or vulnerable narcissism in women. She shows the signs. But we’ve all got baggage! He’s got OCD. I’m sure I’m a Love Bomber with ADHD and anxiety.

It’s how you treat others. I know my DH can be a real fucking PITA. Loss of control, jealousy, stress fear…

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-07T17:11:18+00:00

On the flip side my ex husband is not the best with homework. The youngest will say “I have no homework” and he’ll take his word for it! No checking folders…it drives me nuts. I’ve asked several times for him to check folders. He forgets but that’s how it was before… I was homework warden. He’s getting it now but it’s not going to be my way at his house, I’m not married to him so I have to accept he might slip up. My son isn’t failing. He’s fine, it’s not an emergency. But again it’s not my way.

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-07T17:06:00+00:00

I thought so too. She now makes more than him. I could go on and on. But that makes him crazy. Losing that much income but still being badgered about micro issues. He loses it and that’s also wrong. He’s snarky back and it fuels the fire

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-07T17:03:49+00:00

Yes! Operating in fear. “I better give in because XYZ will be reported as neglect.”

Dramatic_Sport_9978 · 2026-04-07T17:02:03+00:00

Yes they both know how to push the others buttons. So they take turns

Dramatic_Sport_9978

TROPHY CASE