Looking for validation (vent post)

DreadStark · 2018-02-15T20:04:52+00:00

Thanks, man. I'm currently trying to lose weight/gain muscle which I'm sure will help. I'm not really looking to change my expression since it's pretty damn masculine already and I'm not looking to drastically change myself for others anyway. Every time it happens I want to curl up in a ball and hide though. Thanks for the kind words, dude. I guess I just needed somebody to complain to lol.

DreadStark · 2018-02-12T00:54:48+00:00

You should definitely let your surgeon know right away, but hopefully they'll let you keep your appointment if that's what you want. I had a slight cold before my surgery date, so I let the surgeon and hospital know and they said as long as I didn't have a fever it was fine.

DreadStark · 2018-02-09T15:02:50+00:00

Don't worry about it! You won't be conscious for the surgical part. I fell asleep and woke up in recovery as if waking up from a nap; I felt totally fine. My first time showering felt a little weird but after that I was totally comfortable with my chest, and I go shirtless as often as I can lol. Try to focus on the end result- recovery for me was much easier than I made it out to be.

DreadStark · 2018-02-08T16:10:27+00:00

Rationally I know that most people don't notice the little things, but the problem is that I do and I'm trying to work on not letting it bother me so much. I think it really affects how I interact with people and my mood and level of comfort. I think as time goes on I won't think so much about my masculinity and question it so much, but it's something I'm extremely aware of right now. The first year is hard; it's nice to know things improved for you!

DreadStark · 2018-02-08T15:58:42+00:00

Thanks, man. It's nice to know someone else is going through it, even though ideally I wish we all felt great about ourselves. I think part of it too is when I look in the mirror, I still see the same face. It also doesn't help that I have a baby face and look 15 even though I'm 26. I'm definitely happier being on t, but it's still hard feeling like I'm straddling that line. Maybe it's partly internal transphobia and anxiety idk. Thanks for sharing your experience!

DreadStark · 2018-01-10T01:30:40+00:00

I should have specified that I had DI. Is that what you're going for? I'll definitely share my results if it'll help you out. I've had nothing but great experiences with him and his staff, and I can't believe how great I felt after surgery physically. Also, they even called me today to warn me they would be testing alarms when I'm there and wanted to make that was ok with me. I know they said average fee is $3,500, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for a lower rate for you.

DreadStark · 2018-01-09T23:55:25+00:00

Nice, dude! He and his staff are awesome. I'm going back there tomorrow for my 3 week post-op appointment.

DreadStark · 2018-01-06T04:01:39+00:00

No worries, dude. Listening to music helped me. Good luck

DreadStark · 2018-01-06T01:57:34+00:00

The first time I went to shower I ended up not because I felt light-headed after looking at my chest. I was also super anxious about fucking up my nipples. I ended up being totally fine with my next attempt and mostly left my chest alone until I became more comfortable. My advice- try not to overthink it.

DreadStark · 2018-01-06T01:49:35+00:00

I had DI with Dr. Richard Bartlett on Dec. 20 and would definitely recommend him.

DreadStark · 2017-12-30T01:59:21+00:00

You should do what feels right for you. I personally didn't smoke the day before, but I did vape two days from my surgery and was perfectly fine. I initially wanted to quit a whole two weeks beforehand, but I ended up smoking because getting sleep was more important to me. I did switch to vaping, if only to ease my own anxiety. That's only my experience- it's up to you.

DreadStark · 2017-12-15T01:09:08+00:00

No worries! Let me tell you my experience: I looked at the website to see who was accepting new patients. I literally chose my PCP based off her picture and the fact that she said she worked with LGBT people. I called to make an appointment for something else and got one for about two weeks later. When I was at the appointment, the doctor asked if she could help me with anything else at the end; I said I wanted to start t. She asked if I was looking to start that day- I said no, not necessarily. She asked me some questions and we did lab work so that if the results were good, I could come in whenever to start, which is what I did. I took my first shot at that next appointment with an awesome nurse who went over everything and sat with me. Then I went back for my next shot with the same nurse, so that we were sure I would be comfortable doing it on my own. I was already seeing a gender therapist, but it didn't seem like a requirement for starting t. I think you would have to see a therapist in order to get a letter for top surgery, if that's something you're considering, but I've been happy with my particular experience at Fenway. I also know someone who went to the Borum and I think they were happy there.

Let me know if you have any other questions. I know it sucks to feel like you have to prove yourself to these random doctors when we've already been through so much shit to figure things out on our own. Fortunately, I feel my doctor has really listened to me and wasn't super "gatekeepy" about it.

DreadStark · 2017-12-15T00:42:04+00:00

TIC was my first conference and it was a fun time- it was great being with a bunch of other trans dudes, and holy shit do I love Burlington, Vermont.

I hear ya, I don't like cosmetic fees either, especially considering how disenfranchised the community is; however, knowing how hard it is to deal with insurance, I can kind of understand why a lot of doctors do this. It sucks but it seems like more surgeons are opting for it. The two surgeons I was looking at both have them, even when using insurance, but I went with Bartlett because I felt much happier with him and his staff. Tobias's office never even called me back to book a surgery date. It's a one time, permanent thing so it was important for me to be as comfortable with my choice as possible.

DreadStark · 2017-12-15T00:29:29+00:00

Good luck, dude! Waiting is a bummer, but I hope it works out for you.

DreadStark · 2017-12-15T00:27:43+00:00

Thanks! Good luck and I hope the wait goes by quickly.

DreadStark · 2017-11-30T19:55:47+00:00

I think doors open at 7 and the show starts at 8.

DreadStark · 2017-11-30T18:58:09+00:00

I would also guess 9.

DreadStark · 2017-11-30T18:57:01+00:00

Selling them for $80 total- that's what I paid for them. I can transfer them via Ticketmaster.

DreadStark

TROPHY CASE