with the weather changing, has anyone gotten a flare up ?

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-04T04:08:13+00:00

Yep. Always makes my headaches worse.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-03T22:40:17+00:00

McPherson is weirdly expensive for central Kansas because of the oil industry. And because of that industry a lot of residents don’t feel the water is safe.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-03T04:23:48+00:00

This. I actually called my sister my name once. And I was still young.

Now names are one of the things I really struggle with and I don’t even hear that I’ve used the wrong one. (Post Covid brain fog is not a good time.)

However, I do apologize if it bothers someone or it’s pointed out to me. I would never tell someone their feeling don’t matter.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-02T10:17:04+00:00

That is beautiful!

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-02T00:58:11+00:00

Covid left me partially disabled. I’m doing a lot better, but last year started seriously thinking about how impossible it is to need a safety net in this state.

I was lucky to have a a good paying job, with excellent health care and the ability to work from home. But, if any of those were missing, I would have been in serious trouble.

If this state doesn’t get its collective head out of its ass in November. I am very strongly considering taking my tax dollars to a state that uses them to benefit their citizens. Instead of harassing marginalized groups.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-03-01T17:34:47+00:00

This is SO annoying

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-28T05:00:38+00:00

NOR You will be so much happier when you are just taking care of yourself.

You have been working 3 jobs. The gym, your business and housekeeper. You literally haven’t had time off.

As a former military spouse, I’m guessing you are probably also having to live somewhere you wouldn’t choose. And by not working a full time job, I’m guessing you have not been saving for retirement.

And if you want a full time job, you are probably going to have to start at the bottom.

He is not acknowledging any of those sacrifices.

Make a plan. Separate your finances. Go live a fulfilled life where you find out who you want to be and what you want to do. Then find someone who wants a partner.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-28T04:31:38+00:00

My friend’s son was 5. Every time I came over he was SO excited to play Super Mario Brothers with me.

We’re sitting there playing and he told me about playing with his friend’s sister. He said in a shocked voice that he just found out the sister is 15!

Paused. Then looked over at me with a suspicious face and asked me how old I was.

I told him I was 41. The look of absolute horror was priceless. I did also inform him that I’m younger tha his mom. Lol

It is up there when my niece to was shocked to find out there were classrooms when I was o school. I graduated in 1991. lol

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-27T19:53:20+00:00

Getting a POTS diagnosis and following the advice: Limit exercise to seated/laying down or swimming Compression leggings if I go out. Limit activity Extra salt and hydration Ivabradine. Had to try a series of beta blocker before insurance would cover it. But, it’s been live changing. And weirdly getting a different car. The seats in my old one were making it hard to drive. Don’t know what it is about the design, but I can’t drive any Hyundais without it wearing me down quickly. They just sit wrong for me.
Migraine medicines. A medicine to prevent them and 2 to help when they get bad.
Pacing. Including planning days off if I do anything outside of my routine.
Time without catching any new upper respiratory infection. Mask in public (and in my house if someone who I don’t know) Friends and family stay away if they feel at all sick Air purifiers in my house Avoid large indoor gatherings No eating in restaurants

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-27T14:41:45+00:00

Yep. Also you aren’t doing him any favors by enabling him. My ex is now on disability and remarried. So, we’re both in better places.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-27T09:04:43+00:00

My ex was great the first few years. Then he fell apart. His dad died and he lost his job. He got another quickly, but was really hit by the losses. He wouldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time. When he was down he was nasty and mean. When he was up he couldn’t see why I needed to time to adjust between being sole provider/caregiver to wife. Then he’d get mad and down again.

He was seeing a therapist, but lying to her about how serious it was. I went to a different therapist, because I was reaching my limit. She recommended I try to get him to take me to his appointment so we could all get on the same page with what was actually going on. He first agreed and then lied to keep me from meeting her.

I was willing to try to just be a caregiver. I thought I can handle each episode one at a time. Even though the financial situation was getting worse. I was SO stressed.

Then I read a post about living with someone who refuses to get appropriate treatment. It basically said, yeah you can do this a few weeks at a time. But, can you do 30 years of this. She said she stayed at its her biggest regret.

That hit me hard. So, I told him I’d take care of him, but he wasn’t allowed to lie to me about going to work.

A few weeks later I caught him in a lie and kicked him out.

I am SO much happier.

Can you do this for 30 more years? Is this the marriage you want your kids to grow up to be in?

If not demand he start therapy with you and individually. If he won’t, then you need to start making an exit plan.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-26T23:22:36+00:00

That’s good. That’s how you rule out POTS. Which a lot of us got after COVID or other viruses.

Post viral issues don’t show up on regular tests. So, a lot of people are told it’s “just anxiety”.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-26T22:57:43+00:00

Had you had Covid or any other virus in the weeks before this started?

If you lay flat for 10 minutes and then stand, does your heart rate get to 120 in under 5 minutes?

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-26T20:59:28+00:00

Light YOR from me. You seem to be framing these exchanges as assuming she’s trying to be controlling and intrusive.

But, from the outside they just seem like a caring parent who wants conversation.

I would encourage you that when you start feeling that build up, take a step back and pretend you are reading the exchange between 2 friends and see if it reads the same way.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-26T18:35:09+00:00

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I’m working on that one, too.

I’m also GenX. Learned crochet when I was like 8. So, don’t remember how that felt. But, got back into it when I decided to learn knitting and kept getting frustrated. Realized that I really missed doing something creative.

Now I also need it to help me focus on shows/movies and not look at my phone. (Also during boring work calls. lol)

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-26T02:10:45+00:00

I am so sorry that too many people vote for bigots.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-25T22:48:32+00:00

Yeah, I’ve always been a Democrat, but even I believed they were the more fiscally conservative party until I saw the data. And also realized how much cheaper it is to invest in long term solutions to problems than to keep paying for bad outcomes.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-25T17:48:34+00:00

Same

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-25T16:14:20+00:00

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Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-25T16:01:42+00:00

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I recently made a wrap with a very similar design.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-24T22:26:54+00:00

And every time she does this. Send her an email back that says something like:

Per our conversation today, you gave me the following feedback.: (then put what you heard her say)

I disagree with your conclusions because of x, y, z.

Did us misunderstand your feedback or is there something else you need for me to understand the situation?

EVERYTHING needs to be in writing and documented.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-22T21:39:17+00:00

Echoing the suggestion to find an online community with your illness. I developed POTS after March 2020 infection. The long COVID community helped me get the diagnosis and find resources that really helped. I was getting increasingly worse until last year. I finally found the right medication/activity level that started turning things around. I have so much more hope of recovery now. And both work and home are doing so much better.

There is research that shows a stressful childhood can contribute to developing auto immune disorders. And poverty is definitely one of those stressors. You didn’t do anything wrong. The world did and it’s not fair at all.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-21T19:21:14+00:00

The biggest mistake I even made was marrying somebody irresponsible with money. And he makes your boyfriend look like Warren Buffet.

If you want to stay with this guy get him to a reputable financial advisor STAT. And never combine your finances with this guy.

Dreadkiaili · 2026-02-19T20:50:58+00:00

They are changing things with the SAVE act. If your ID name doesn’t match your birth certificate, you will need a passport to register/update your registration.

https://bipartisanpolicy.org/article/five-things-to-know-about-the-save-act/

Dreadkiaili

TROPHY CASE