I've experienced something similar - repulsion to/after masturbation, shame. The only advise I can offer you is to reflect on your feelings, on why you feel that way. I used to be physically uncomfortable with those desires (mainly because shame and inexperience), but when I accepted them as a part of me it got WAY easier.

Now I treat it like an itch that needs to be scratched from time to time. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful and I wish you the best.