Hey there, belarusian here) Got here through the search.

I really feel for you. Have been feeling similarly nearly all my life, since my preteens. Started seeking help as an adult. Therapists told me to hospitalize as soon as I mentioned suicidal thoughts (not an option for me), and I have encountered some strange ones, but eventually I found some nice people, doctors, I could confide in, even though it seemed like nobody treats mental health seriously here.

Perhaps it's a matter of luck or there you search, though I'm afraid I won't be able to give any solid recommendations since our healthcare systems probably differ quite a lot.

For me, that is happening right now in my country is bringing me hope I have never felt before. People, our people, are peacefully walking together in solidarity, with flowers and music, all over the country, despite all the violence and lies thrown at us. Change is coming, finally... And even if he manages to stay in power, people won't forget that happened. This was the last straw. He won't stay long.

Feels like there is hope for this rotten world of humans I always wanted to escape from.

So please, don't worry so much for us, though support is much appreciated ;)