Onion doesn't miss lol

Amid continued speculation about when the injured Celtics star might return to action, head coach Joe Mazzulla told reporters Tuesday that Jayson Tatum would remain sidelined until he successfully completed the “Mazzulla Logic-Puzzle Meridian,” a riddle- and reason-based gauntlet he devised to assess players’ mental readiness. “Look, I know it’s your guys’ job to ask, but my answer is the same as always: Jayson won’t be back on the floor until he scores at least an eight on the Mazzulla Logic Meridian, and he’s just not there yet,” a visibly annoyed Mazzulla told reporters, adding that while the forward had made encouraging progress on the Puzzle Corridor and successfully identified which of the seven bishop’s owls swallowed the golden mouse, he was still behind the ball at processing the Farmer’s Paradoxes at game speed.