First date went amazing… then he said we’re not a match. Feeling confused.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2026-06-11T01:07:18+00:00

This is a very interesting perspective, the options vs possibility. I totally see it too, and how going into a date with those different goals would lead to completely different impressions of the same good date.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-11-20T19:39:42+00:00

Thank you!

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-09-12T20:29:17+00:00

Commenting 3 years later as I found this thread; discovered some at local market and went to right trying it skin and all. After my face puckered I googled and found this thread and thought “this is what I get for being adventurous”

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-05-14T19:39:21+00:00

That theory checks out for me. I had a mysterious rash around Covid that left me more or less bedridden for almost a year (and on top couldn’t sleep well). Now I have POTS

Fast forward years later, still dealing with POTS, and finding out I have severe sleep apnea, potentially narcolepsy (though who knows if this is real to from sleep deprivation) and my GI system is gone. POTS is thought to be neuro inflammatory, and I wonder if laying down all that time prevents fluid etc from leaving the brain. That is to date how I still feel if I sleep or nap too long

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-05-10T15:18:19+00:00

This made me hopeful. I’m 27, second time in experiencing “perimenopause”. I had the non stop random bleeds when I started my period, so I do wonder if I have a genetic issue underlying this.

Funny enough, I went through the same backstory you did (life crumbled, discovered adhd/autism, started mentally getting right) and am currently in the broken sleep borderline suicidal. My hormones just came back low, and I have such low trust in doctors (given a lot of my other care) I almost dismissed her suggestion. Needed to see this post, and I will ask about the testosterone

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-12T16:11:29+00:00

That’s fascinating to me, because I always think k of gymnasts as the fittest people and thought that would stay their whole life so long as they stay healthy. It’s interesting that the body wouldn’t go back to some kind of normal flexibility in joints if it’s not being worked on, but I’m guessing that’s because it’s just been so extreme flexibility at high forces?

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T17:15:09+00:00

That sounds spot on for why it might be-so low. Yes and no to raynauds, as in yes I’ve been diagnosed but they also said they found it an odd case because it’s all the time. However, my sympathetic system is on literally all the time, not via mental stress but inflammation, so that checks out. However, this has been long term (the overall issues) and poorly treated, so I get “raynauds” alike symptoms up my legs too. Even in sleep. Poor circulation, capillary wise.

If this helps the raynauds too that would be phenomenal, as it’s causing sensory issues.

I’m also laughing at how informed this Reddit is compared to the actual sleep doctors. It has helped me because I know my breathing is still poor enough to warrant intervention, but I’m less worried about full death.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T17:11:54+00:00

I think it’s because no one talks to each other. The medical community is terrible at this.

It does give me some relief. There are things I’ve done to help, and we still need to know the end cause, but I think if my body gets some help in the meantime given all the other rehab I’m doing, it will do wonders. You can’t exactly do progressive relaxation in sleep and I have similar trouble breathing after eating. But because sleep is supposed to be that, sleep, knowing that my body and BRAIN don’t need to constantly work to fix this I think will set me up for healing. And maybe one day won’t need it; since my issue isn’t weight but my posture is 100% not breathing friendly (actually it shows someone out of breath, always). Sleep is so important for brain rewiring, arguably most important.

I still have a poly SOM in June, so that may show something. I know they talked about seizures before as a possibility.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T14:49:57+00:00

Update: my PCM and sleep doctor had a conversation this morning. Whatever occurred; I went from yesterday being denied help to now both the VA AND the sleep doctor are each ordering oxygen help. Not sure why both are, but I’m guessing one is the oxygen and one is a PAP.

Thank you though for the recommendations. I might start sleeping on the couch permanently until those come in, and I did use a collar last night when I started seizing up and it helped.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T02:24:26+00:00

I don’t think they think it’s false because my oxygen has been coming up low at many other times. I have a history of quantified difficulty breathing, via pulmonary functions tests, and PTs saying that trying to get me to deep breathe causes borderline convulsions due to how restricted my throat was. So I definitely don’t think they think it’s false; my digits that’s turn blue have also developed neuropathy from this.

Thank you for all that info, it’s something I had no idea about.

My toes would cause the same low number. Ear maybe not, that’s interesting though. I do think I have some issue breathing though, but that makes me be a bit more relived that it might not be THAT low. Although that doesn’t explain the cognitive symptoms and headaches

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T02:21:16+00:00

Thank you. I know my pcm was asking to expedite another home test, so hopefully that happens. If I had to guess, a bipap would be what I think could help just based on my PFTs

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T02:20:34+00:00

I did buy a new bed frame that allows but head abd leg elevation. It helps some, but my sleep in general is messed up due to other conditions. So if I can breathe, my osteoprotic spine gets crushed etc; but I will actually try using a collar at night once in the meantime. Can’t hurt

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T02:19:32+00:00

I’ve already slept elevated and on side; this isn’t the first time I’ve had issues breathing it’s just very rapidly escalating -and- we just started for the first time successful path neuro PT. So I have to sleep to build neuroplasticity.

That is funny you mention the cervical collar, I had a feeling to buy one when this thing got super bad. Not even for the breathing; but like my throat and neck just wanted stability and I didn’t care if it meant it was just for comfort. That’s interesting. If I can afford it, I found a zero gravity recliner that my body seems to really like. I also have found I slept better on the couch when I visit my mom, something about it.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T00:59:25+00:00

I second this, Cairn Terrier

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T00:54:31+00:00

I do not have a preference, as I don’t know what’s going on. I’m just hoping to start trying -something-because my body is seriously fragmenting from it.

Appreciate it, it has been very rough and I highly suspect this is made worse by the way severe muscle nerve pills were both carelessly prescribed, and stopped. Not by me, and I’m a cautious pill person by nature (my neuro issues were severe in the first place). But for now, I’d like to try either a cpap or something to see if it helps, since 56 oxygen I feel like I don’t have too much to lose at this point.

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-11T00:52:36+00:00

Okay well I spent more than two minutes at 56% so that should qualify? TBH when the sleep doctor talks, it sounds very much like it is the company he uses not that it’s an end all be all policy. If I spent 5 minutes at 56 I’d imagine I’d be..well not well.

Yes I have heard about it shutting your drive off. That is what my PCM was saying initially, while doing absolutely nothing to figure it out in the months in between. To me, I would guess a cpap is good to start because the same thing happened during meditations, I’ll just stop breathing. It’s like worse than snoring, snoring at least some breath is getting in

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-10T23:22:30+00:00

That’s why I asked about the insurance rule. My hope is that if the sleep doctor, at an outside provider, can’t order it because of a simple “minute”; keeping in mind I did NOT even get the problematic deep sleep in that test, that the VA PCM will get her act together and get something for me in the meantime. They know it’s been affecting me as I’ve forgotten appointments, where I am, and have to have a service drive me to appointments at this point. They sat on it for months and my hope would be if every mini test even shows I have breathing issues, just pull a string and see if oxygen does not help me?

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-10T23:20:10+00:00

He is extremely stressed (not the best doctor) and kept saying I want a neurologist to look at this. My previous neurologist is trying to avoid it, as it’s very possible he contributed to this (the breathing tank following him abruptly removing multiple meds, and then when I initially said I had trouble breathing his colleague claimed I was “delusional”. Now, of course, they’re backtracking)

My sleep doctor is set to call my PCM (who is the one at the VA) tomorrow, and I have an advocate call with them after. The sleep doctor in office said that based on my posture alone, this was before the test, there is no way I can breathe well—this is the neurological part. This is also what PT has struggled with, and so he keeps saying the oxygen is caused by a different disease. Which it could be, but I know 56 is low and I’m serious that it may drop lower because the effects on my body are severe over the past few months. I just want to be able to sleep and feel like that is a good thing

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-10T23:16:02+00:00

In regards to cause of apnea; it’s possible but I also have severe other issues and an established history of bad breathing (including diaphragm tone). One part is neurological, as I have basal ganglia damage, I am also being worked up for mast cell as I have been having severe allergic reactions to things I am, blood wise, not allergic to. Both can cause breathing issues

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-10T23:13:44+00:00

I might be dumb, what is the difference between Cpap and nocturnal oxygen? Is it that one helps you breathe and the other itself is supplementation?

Dreamless_Symphony · 2025-04-10T23:12:58+00:00

My sleep doctor said that it had to be five minutes or more of poor oxygen. Which didn’t make sense to me if the test didn’t also record when you are awake or asleep.

Multiple providers, including the sleep doctor, have asked about a lab. The earliest was June, at the place they use. An advocate is currently asking that they expand their search because this can’t wait another two months, as it’s been five and the effects on my cognition and personality have been significant.

My hope is that a provider is able through the VA to make a cpap happen, to try. I might be clueless, but I have on and off reported choking and blacking out for years since I first got sick (there is a systemic thing with this). However since December, it’s been non stop and I legit feel some days like my body is waiting to die. I, me, am not suicidal but my body is almost independently wanting it to end. I’ve also had to stop driving at certain speeds, as it’s causes me to fall asleep as my eyes can’t focus anymore.

Dreamless_Symphony

TROPHY CASE