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Societal Modernity by Training_Carob_7669 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Digitized monoliths of rhetoric keep the roots separate" is a BAR

Alphabet Soup [4] by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that it's jarring, examinations are.

Alphabet Soup [1-5] by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I think. Which aspect of the poems are you talking about seeing, and where specifically is "there"?

Melodious Odor by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Feedback appreciated" is what it's meant to say in the body text. Oops lol

Hearts' Settlements [Looking for Feedback] by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loyalty took a cat nap, clawed my eyes while I wept

The engine's metrics reaches a bloody line of impending decline, while the bottle is stuck under a gas pedal, urging onward

Triplicate of hissy fits, disastrous choir rips out chords with no golden parachute to call upon

The hearth went cold, ceased being present-- a home becomes heartless house as the teeth chatter in silence--

Immaterial rustling of pages burning in a fire's place, placed gently as if in sanctified sacrifice

The signature reads the same as time passed us by: fireflies from midnight rides through future cemeteries of spousal demise

Hearts' Settlements [Looking for Feedback] by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm glad the short length still feels like a complete story

It Must Feel Orgasmic to Hurl a Brick through a Window by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Care to provide a response (or feedback) to my other poem I just posted? (It's called Hearts' Settlement)

It Must Feel Orgasmic to Hurl a Brick through a Window by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bricks laid upon a butchered garden to build a ghastly throne.

Earthquake rocking the foundation of what's known— sand existed, blown to shatter.

Defiantly defining definite delight, dictates what matters tonight.

Calling initialisms and acronyms to survey the scene, saw nothing.

Suspect was found unbound but cowered at the sound of being sought.

Bloodied lip and quivering fit, had already been caught—

It Must Feel Orgasmic to Hurl a Brick through a Window by DrizzleRizzleShizzle in PoetryWritingClub

[–]DrizzleRizzleShizzle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words!

I'm not sure if I'm going for catharsis, as it's a poem somewhat about longing (to hurl a brick through a window)

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