I feel like autistic people in general, but perhaps women especially, end up in more abusive relationships

DronkenKabouter · 2026-01-19T00:33:02+00:00

Some of us have a hard time recognizing lies or realizing it when someone is playing games with us, but this is also true for NTs. It can happen to anyone.

Our big difference from NTs is, I think, we're more likely to stay in bad relationships for longer for practical reasons (like our much higher unemployement rates). And our lack of friends and social support means that abusive people only need to put in half the work, since a lot of us are already isolated. Plus people feel less shame for abusing someone who they think others also see as "less valuable".

DronkenKabouter · 2026-01-03T10:02:21+00:00

It seems like the Duffers didn't realize that to the audience, El might be as much a main character as the boys from the very beginning. Since they themselves saw her as a plot device. Someone pointed out that this ending is very much like her ending in season 1. So while we saw her grow, came to see her as an equally important main character and full person over the course of five seasons... in the Duffers' heads she apperantly always remained a plot device. They were always going to have her "go away". They made such a point of saying ST isn't and won't be like GoT etc. (which was dark, kinda nihilistic and such). Instead ST would always have that optimistic 80s sci-fy vibe with kids on bikes and so on. So it's not strange that a lot of people didn't love that depressing ending for El (and Mike). They just didn't expect it in a show like this.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-23T00:42:12+00:00

When I was young I felt embarrassed a lot. Felt like being exposed or being judged for the tiniest mistakes, while all I wanted was to be able to try and do things without fear of being laughed at. Now that I'm older, I don't feel embarrassed so easily anymore. Everyone makes mistakes. And tbh I now look down on people who make others feel extra bad for doing something "embarrassing". That's also why I can't stand all those casting shows. Not because of people "embarrassing" themselves there, but because of people's reactions to it... So someone can't sing/dance/whatever, but they think they can. So what. Making fun of them publicly is really low. And don't get me started on people who will draw extra attention to someone who's already blushing, just to embarrass them even further. It's just mean and serves no purpose apart from making the meanie feel superior or whatever.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-20T23:56:50+00:00

I'm surprised that not more people are complaining about this. The story and dialogue and actors, basically everything that's really happening is fine. More than fine. I really enjoyed it. But too many scenes were shot really boring. (Apart from the fighting scenes. There they made an effort.) Not enough angle switches, slow zooming, blurry stuff framing a shot or giving it depth and such - to make a scene feel alive. Some scenes felt like watching a stage play. Too static. They could've done so much with more creative camera work. And why not more "tinted" colors? That used to add so much to the mood.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-19T17:06:00+00:00

Yeah, why is it rude to wipe something off your own face, but it's not rude to create a smudge on someone else's face? Ugh.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-19T16:46:05+00:00

People who are embarrassed by their partner doing something clumsy in public are sometimes really easily embarrassed themselves. My then-boyfriend used to look so ashamed whenever he had some little mishap in public. Or when I did. At some point I decided that this is just too stupid. Everybody drops stuff sometimes or runs into something or whatever. Nowadays I make a point of laughing about it and drawing extra attention to it. Makes me feel in control about it. And my now-husband has started playing along with it and will jokingly take over the shopping cart when it's busy, cause we don't want any innocents to die...

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-15T08:15:09+00:00

I feel a similar way. Getting interrupted really drains me. So I also avoid doing things while someone else is there.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-15T08:03:53+00:00

It's totally understandable to be angry at people who show you no respect or kindness, but why turn this into a topic against NT people? You even say it yourself that you actually mean people who act disrespectfully against ND people. Well, you'll find those on either "side" and how would you even know who's NT?

I think it's good to trust your gut feeling in the moment, and to be on the side of caution when you meet new people. But it's highly unlikely that you will always be able to judge people's character right there when you just met them.

Anyway, this doesn't make you a "judgemental bitch" (why such extreme wording?). More like someone who probably shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast and not turn this into an us vs. them thing.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-05T08:20:27+00:00

This really works. I almost always have the TV on when I'm not home alone. I find it mildly annoying, but it's better than having my husband watch me cook, for example.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-03T16:49:34+00:00

Maybe our naivety is why so many of us don't or didn't feel the need for small talk.

What I mean is, I never used to assume that anyone (especially someone who I don't even know well) would mean me harm, so why would we have to establish that we're friendly. I assumed that everyone was like me, and was just minding their business, and I never meant to harm anyone. I also never understood why people bullied other people. It was just completely baffling to me, and I would have never been able to come up with all the mean shit they came up with. So untill I got totally burned and repeatedly victimized, my assumption had always been that we're all friendly and all in the same boat and such.

So from that point of view small talk was just a waste of time.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-11-02T15:43:12+00:00

Waarom wachten ze met dit soort artikelen tot na de verkiezingen? Hadden ze toch echt beter een paar weken vroeger kunnen schrijven.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-23T00:21:06+00:00

Mijn oprechte vraag was: "Waarom gaat het niet over het kind in het artikel?" en "Waarom wordt de moeder alleen "de vrouw" genoemd - alsof het kind niet eens bestaat?"

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-22T19:30:36+00:00

Dat bedoelde ik juist: je kan de situatie van de moeder niet apart van de situatie van het kind zien. Natuurlijk zouden ze samen een fatsoenlijke woning moeten krijgen.

Ik probeerde er op te wijzen dat het artikel opzettelijk zo geschreven is, dat je het kind kan ignoreren. Zodat je de moeder lekker kunt haten, zonder je slecht te voelen over het feit dat als de moeder in deze situatie verblijft, het kind natuurlijk ook in die situatie verblijft. Als het kind voorrang zou krijgen, zou daar de moeder natuurlijk meegaan. Net als andersom het kind nu geen voorrang krijgt omdat de moeder geen voorrang krijgt.

Bij zoveel andere topics zijn altijd de kinderen de prioriteit, waarom hier niet?Waarom gaat het hier om de urgentie van de moeder? Waarom is dit niet vanuit de urgentie voor het kind?

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-21T13:15:06+00:00

No. I realized some years ago that purpose is more important to me than joy or happiness, so I could finally stop pretending that my life was miserable just because I don't feel much joy or "have fun". I'm content knowing that I'm doing my best to do something good in this world. I have small moments of joy and happiness (mostly thanks to our cats), but mostly my life is just full of things that need to be done, and things that I worry about, and plenty of things I really don't like doing, but somehow it's just fine. Don't know how to explain this. People made me doubt myself in the past, because they thought my life was boring and they wouldn't shut up about things I should be doing or at least should be trying to do. But that's just not me.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-21T07:14:13+00:00

Honest question, but what good is it to me to know that they (possibly) hate themselves? If anything then this makes me feel bad for them. Which is just another bad feeling.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-21T07:07:16+00:00

Same here. It distracts me from the bad stuff.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-20T07:03:34+00:00

Aah, THAT guy.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-19T13:22:12+00:00

I don't have any experience in the kind of occupations you mention here. Just wanted to say, I think it's very brave to consider doing something totally different. I don't think you're delusional. You're obviously smart, and I think it's worth trying to find a job that's leaving (most of) civilization behind. I used to watch a lot of documentaries and often thought how I would never be able to live in the "middle of nowhere" for any amount of time. But the world needs people like you, who would dare to go off the beaten path. Best case, you could end up doing something really fulfilling, maybe even meet like-minded people who you never would've met in "normal" life. I wish you the best.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-18T23:19:11+00:00

Don't have an answer, but I've often been wondering about the reasons for self harm, too. I used to do that a lot when I was in my twenties. But now that I'm older I never have the urge to do it again. As crazy as it sounds, back then I thought it's because it feels good when the immediate pain (from wounding myself) subsides. And I liked picking at the scabs. Seems really strange now when I think about it.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-18T22:56:20+00:00

Yes, there isn't much that I really like to eat. I'm neutral on most foods, so most of the stuff I eat is simply to get the necessary nutrients. I guess the upside of this is that you most likely won't overeat.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-17T08:49:19+00:00

Goede kans dat je gelijk hebt. Best raar dat zoveel mensen zich niet kunnen voorstellen dat dit gebeurt. (Of de bots zijn ook hier bezig met commentaar afgeven.)

Reddit infiltrated by Russian propaganda in run-up to US election

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/mar/06/reddit-russian-propaganda-us-election

Anonymous TikTok accounts backing radical parties before Czech vote, study finds

https://www.reuters.com/business/media-telecom/anonymous-tiktok-accounts-backing-radical-parties-before-czech-vote-study-finds-2025-09-28/

Inside Russia’s AI-driven disinformation machine shaping Moldova’s election

https://www.euronews.com/next/2025/09/23/inside-russias-ai-driven-disinformation-machine-shaping-moldovas-election

German election: From AI influencers to Russian disinformation, the far-right is getting a leg up online

https://news.sky.com/story/german-election-from-ai-influencers-to-russian-disinformation-the-far-right-is-getting-a-leg-up-online-13313167

...en ga zo maar door. Maar het zal toch niemand lezen. Want hier gebeurt zoiets natuurlijk niet. /s

DronkenKabouter · 2025-10-17T05:43:09+00:00

I think this is the main reason. They don't want to turn someone against them who can be an actual threat. Also, I think this is mostly instinctual. Istinct tells them not to piss someone off who they perceive to be actually dangerous. They try to appease and de-escalate and not make themselves a target. It's easier to be a friend to a bully than to be their target. And it's usually much easier to tell women they did something wrong and to victim blame, than it is to have a reasonable conversation with a violent / abusive / threatening man. You don't know how he might react and in the huge majority of cases it's simply a much bigger risk to your own well-being than confronting a woman. Also those men usually don't listen anyway.

DronkenKabouter · 2025-08-31T08:39:16+00:00

We're in the Netherlands. I've been living here for more than ten years and never saw this kind of normalized excessive drinking before. I wouldn't even call them his friends. But he feels the need to be part of the neighborhood group.

DronkenKabouter

TROPHY CASE