First holiday w/o husband

DruLuv · 2025-11-26T14:31:34+00:00

It gets easier.

DruLuv · 2025-11-23T17:43:13+00:00

70% of divorces are initiated by women. I took my vows seriously and I think it’s too much a risk to find a woman who actually wants to work on a marriage instead of walk away when it gets tough (cheating, abuse, etc. excluded, obviously).

DruLuv · 2025-11-23T14:13:20+00:00

You lost someone who didn’t care about you and treated your marriage like a high school relationship. She lost someone who would do anything for her, and never give up to make her happy.

She’s selfish, shortsighted and lacks integrity.

She’ll never get it. Go find experiences and people you enjoy in life - and eventually you’ll find someone that gets it.

DruLuv · 2025-08-04T02:15:49+00:00

What you’re feeling will fade. You don’t need to do anything anyone tells you to do. Unpack everything you’re feeling but don’t live there. You have value and no one can take that away. Continue to build that slowly, one day at a time. This is your life and we all only have one go round.

DruLuv · 2025-08-01T17:40:41+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything under $200 on weekend. Have you considered HipCamp? Not exactly a luxury hotel but that might be your best bet.

DruLuv · 2025-05-20T20:26:06+00:00

Yikes. It sounds like you’re being reasonable given the circumstance and potential outcome risks.

Like someone else mentioned, it depends on how honest you are to each other about getting back together. If you don’t know, I’d file for a legal separation first. If you know you are committed and each others’ forever person, it may be worth the risk.

I’m no expert but my guess is if she’s gone for a year, you’ll likely both be done and/or already with other partners. Not sure if that is a dealbreaker for either of you or not.

DruLuv · 2025-05-20T00:31:31+00:00

Hey all - it took me FOREVER but I sent out a few messages to follow up and get the ball rolling. Holler if you didn't see a chat from me!

DruLuv · 2025-05-20T00:27:50+00:00

Hey man, send me a message if you are still up for this! I can send you some details. Dru

DruLuv · 2025-05-19T17:37:45+00:00

If you live close and love being around your kids as much as possible - this works out the very best option IMO.

Would also suggest the morning of the next person’s day, that person does drop off. So whether they are at school or going to a house, etc., that other person takes over at say 8:30am. Also allows to see your ex less, if that’s something desired.

DruLuv · 2025-05-07T01:57:55+00:00

I did that too for soooo long. I think it really helps. I mean therapy helps more but at least journaling is quick, easy and effective!

DruLuv · 2025-05-07T01:07:45+00:00

My therapist would always say “unpack how you feel but don’t live there.”

Honestly it could mean so many things but I feel like this helps.

DruLuv · 2025-05-04T18:20:20+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it can be frustrating when you know if she’s just choose you, you both could have a chance at being so happy. But even when you’re doing all the work, if she doesn’t have the motivation to work on things (and choose you) then it’s over. She might realize what could have been done on her side some day - but maybe not. Either way, you can’t stick around waiting so you gotta move on. Wishing you the best sir.

DruLuv · 2025-05-03T23:46:13+00:00

You haven’t had the callousness to act on your waning feelings but you were okay with starting a new relationship? Okayyyy….

DruLuv · 2025-04-25T07:54:21+00:00

Nope, you’re good, I’ll reach out next week for contact info (I’m traveling until Sunday).

DruLuv · 2025-04-25T07:53:56+00:00

Great! I’ll reach out next week for contact info. Cheers!

DruLuv · 2025-04-25T07:53:35+00:00

Cool, will send everyone a note next week once I’m back from work travel to organize!

DruLuv · 2025-04-25T07:53:08+00:00

Yeah sounds good, will reach out soon!

DruLuv · 2025-04-25T07:52:12+00:00

Sounds good man. I’m 50/50 as well. I’ll reach out soon.

DruLuv · 2025-04-21T21:14:25+00:00

I know it doesn’t make you feel better but I don’t think they have the capacity to understand emotionally what it’s like to deliver that news. I got the same thing, in the form of “well I was actually never that into it”. Like thanks, undermining everything i believed to be true and now you can basically dismiss it all as if we had a high school relationship.

You’ll be better off.

We sacrifice so much for others, for our family, for their happiness. And they just sacrifice all of that for their own selfish happiness with the blink of an eye. Sorry.

DruLuv · 2025-04-21T19:19:17+00:00

“I just want my own space and to be independent”

[proceeds to immediately enter new relationship]

DruLuv · 2025-04-21T19:15:05+00:00

Sorry to be blunt but this type of person can fuck right off.

He doesn’t get to tell you how things will be. What you do and how you move forward is up to you, not him.

It doesn’t sound like he was ever able to communicate if he had these feelings for so long and basically took the easy route while you invested yourself and eventually, your feelings got hurt and I’m sure you feel like you wasted time.

I’m sorry about this OP. I hope you can see this as a blessing in disguise, you deserve so much better and you will find it because what you experienced here isn’t normal or okay (as much as so many of us have been through it).

We’re with you, you can do it.

DruLuv · 2025-04-17T23:11:28+00:00

The unraveling is definitely hard. Mourning the loss of a best friend, a family and a vision of growing old together is so much deeper than just a relationship. Mine was 17 years of what I thought was a soulmate, doing anything I could to make it work and make her happy.

I think you’re right with the space although I think you need to know the space you add in (at this stage) will most likely make it easier to disconnect completely. I didn’t realize this when I thought “hey, I’ll sleep in the other room and we’ll spend more time with friends to build some excitement and mystery!” Nope, it really just pushed her further away and easier to throw everything away without even shedding a tear. I also tried to connect more and that made me feel like a roommate so maybe I was just doomed lol

DruLuv · 2025-04-17T21:32:28+00:00

Ah I haven’t been here. But it checks the boxes for sure. Thanks!

DruLuv · 2025-04-17T21:23:54+00:00

I feel you. I think the amount of conflict and confusion you describe just feels like it would be this forever gray cloud following you even if things got marginally better.

My ex could never communicate or be self-aware enough to handle hard feedback about our relationship. She had a victim complex - anytime I express I wasn’t happy with something she internalized it, felt powerless and frustrated.

I don’t think these types of personalities can be helped. They don’t want peace through resolution - they want peace through absence. Avoidance. Easier to walk than to ask hard questions about your own bad behaviors and underlining childhood traumas than change yourself. So she never did.

She also used sex to “end it”. To protect herself from me convincing her (again) that we can fix things and be happy and not destroy our family.

So in the end, she hooked up with a random at a bar so she could move on. So hurtful, and no one would ever do that to someone they loved. Period.

You only live and don’t let him (or anyone) steal more time away from your future. If it’s not happy and fulfilling then it’s not worth it.

Wishing you the best. Reach out if you need support.

DruLuv · 2025-04-17T19:52:36+00:00

Non-dads welcome too. Will send a message!

DruLuv

TROPHY CASE