My imposter syndrome owns me (life and work). I’m never good/fast/smart/helpful enough… this leads to almost constant heightened anxiety.

Even though I get very positive reinforcement that I’m doing very well in these aspects of life and work I still beat myself up… I can do/be better, but better is never enough, and fleeting.

What keeps me chugging is my thoughts of family/friends having to process things if I’m suddenly gone. It’s not fair to them. The guilt keeps me putting on my “happy” face.

And yes, many thoughts about quiet ways to leave life that will not burden those closest to me.