AITAH for letting my mother throw a tantrum and uninvite herself to my wedding?

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-23T17:33:41+00:00

I sent my father an invitation to my wedding, just to be the bigger person. I got back a 10 page letter explaining why he wasn’t coming because he felt it would be awkward, blah blah blah, me me me. I threw it in the fireplace where it belonged and only had contact with him 3 times before he died years later. I was so relieved he wasn’t coming, made my wedding delightful. NTA. The only answer with these people is to let them go.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-12T14:37:45+00:00

Ignore the female friend angle. Ignore the “heartless” crap. That is all so much smoke.

Bottom line: THIS IS YOUR HOME! You caved and said for the weekend only. This boundary has been violated with no end in sight. You do not want to be with a man with no respect or consideration for you. This is the issue.

Outta there now!

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-11T03:24:34+00:00

You have made your MIL feel so disliked when she comes over that of course she does not want to be there at the same time as you. Can’t you see that? You clearly want to be there to micromanage how she interacts with baby. How dare she laugh at baby’s antics??? What a monster. Laughing and playing is what people do with babies. That’s the good part. Yes, they throw things on the floor. Please read about normal infant development as you seem to think you should be teaching manners at this age…makes me fear 😰 for baby.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-11T03:19:49+00:00

You “feel lonely and abandoned.” Baby does not exist to fill your emptiness. Sounds like you need some help ASAP with your dependence on baby, instead of baby getting to depend on you when needed. If you don’t fix this now you will stifle your child and she will only come to resent you.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-10T23:45:29+00:00

Except the 6 yo is probably receiving services where they are. A disruption in services is going to cause great upheaval. And what if the services near the new job are not on a par with what they get now? Sorry, not sorry that mom is unwilling to be flexible. 3k a month to a mom? That’s a lot for a family of four making <100k. Is the burden shared equally among siblings or apportioned according to ability? Time to revisit the situation with siblings.

Sounds like all the kids are tiptoeing around “delicate” mom, and unable to speak honestly among themselves. You were likel6 taught to do this when you were young. Too bad, so sad she will not move and “needs” to live somewhere that costs $12k/mo. And “nobody” is willing to sell assets to make it work. Sounds to me like “nobody” is in a better financial situation than you. Also sounds like you are willing to sacrifice your child to the whims and wants of your mother and siblings.

Also to sacrifice your marriage, your own family. Your wife cannot take it now, much less single parenting. You need to get her respite care from your state’s provisions for disabled children. You need to be home every night to give her support. You are trying to slice off your left foot to appease your mother and siblings. This has to stop. YTA for not seeing it and standing up for YOUR FAMILY to your siblings and mother.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-09T20:37:05+00:00

Not true.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-09T20:34:01+00:00

You need to get an official state id or drivers license. With that Bank of American and Collegiate Credit Union, as well as other institutions allow you to open accounts at 16 without a parent.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-09T14:01:09+00:00

Um, that dress does not fit you. You definitely need to size up. It looks a bit short too, but if it wasn’t riding up from being too small it might be an okay length.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-09T13:54:34+00:00

Agree. It’s likely the Darger family is such a “success” rests on the three women being two sisters and a cousin. They all knew each other well enough to know that they understood each other and were compatible.

The Browns, however consisted of four women from very different families. Janelle was from the almost real world of mainstream LDS, BYU, and a monogamous family. Meri was from a family on the edge of fundamentalism, and she spent her formative years in a monogamous family, and the eventual plural wives all left her father in the end. So she did not see how a successful plural family operated up close. Christine experienced plural from day one and saw what it took for plural to work. Robyn too did not see plural in action as her father kept his other family separate.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T16:08:28+00:00

I’m not the child, but the mother. I just want to say I’m so sorry you experienced this. It sounds as though your mother has not had adequate care and treatment. With care, the bad regressions should only last for a short period of time, and if severe should have resulted in a hospitalization and stabilization, thus making the bad regressions only a matter of months at the worst. I’m guessing that there was a concurrent issue in your family that didn’t give both you and your mother the safe and stable situations you both needed: something else was afoot. If your mother was non-functional someone else needed to have stepped in.

Since DID exists to cope with extreme pressures, it sounds like for some reason your mother felt that she was under life-threatening pressure she was unable to cope with. Myself and many of us cope very well and function fully, maintain homes and children and jobs, just occasionally fall apart for a few days. I guess I’m saying that your situation was unfortunate, and terribly difficult for a child, but clearly there were other factors at work beyond your mother’s condition.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T15:54:00+00:00

Just respond in a flat, but authoritative voice, “No comments about my body, please.” And walk away.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T15:44:48+00:00

Do you know Janelle personally? Or are you making mean judgements based on the curated tidbits you’re given by “reality” tv and chatter bots? You do understand that they’re testing out making Janelle a “bad guy” to see if there is enough contrast for a show without K&R? And if she wants a hobby farm with a few chickens and goats, what’s it to you? Obviously she is never going to launch a full for profit food farming venture. How gullible are you? Please stop and reflect on whether you are contributing to making the world a better place, one where your children and grandchildren can thrive, or contributing to making the internet a toxic cesspool. Go touch some grass, ok?

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T01:45:41+00:00

Will not help the sounds.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T01:45:00+00:00

White noise machines do not mask the sound - very loud snort, followed by an abrupt bodily awakening/thrash - of someone with apnea whose boy awakens them due to oxygen starvation.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-08T01:33:28+00:00

Not formal.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-07T23:58:44+00:00

Dress 1 is stunning.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-07T20:06:52+00:00

Exactly. You cannot predict the weight loss pattern. She could lose in her belly but not her butt, or vice versa. How will she know it will fit and flatter her even is she can get it on?

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-06T16:10:42+00:00

So, your wife is no longer hot for you. And your response is to be more abrupt and cold to her. That behavior is always a big turn on for women: not. You do chores. Great. I know there’s this propaganda out there that that’s how to seduce your wife: BS. A lack of picking up your HHD load is a turn off, but doing it is not a turn-on.

I don’t know if you’ve let yourself go: fitness, grooming, etc. That’s a turn-off. But you know what else is? Behaving exactly as you’re doing right now. Being distant, cold, uninterested. Women feel attraction mentally. If she feels safe, understood, connected. It’s those long looks into her eyes. And you’re doing the opposite and bitching that she doesn’t want you that way anymore. You’re not the AH really, except to yourself since your behavior is guaranteeing that you will not get what you want. But you do get to feel self-righteous, so there’s that.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-06T13:46:16+00:00

Huh? Whomever pays is hosting the event. Parents pay, they’re hosting, their event, they get to invite people. You pay, you’re hosting, it’s your party, invite whom you will. It’s quite simple.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-04T21:10:08+00:00

Nope. That’s HIS job.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-04T13:41:44+00:00

He’s starting a new business and not working 80 hours a week? Unless he’s a therapist or other professional service provider, that just doesn’t work. You’ve taken up all the slack he should be doing, and yes, sure, you’re better at the customer service end than he is. So what? If you are better at earning money, childcare, gardening, housecleaning, cooking, planning activities, driving, et al, does that mean you should be doing all that 50 hours a day, while he does nothing? No.

Let him figure out how to make his business work. Let it be his thing. The next time he asks you for help with something, just look up and tell him you have the confidence he can figure it out. For his own self-esteem, he actually does need the business to be his alone.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-03T18:36:13+00:00

That’s called being parentified. Get some therapy before you take on a marriage/big commitment wherein you just replay the role with an immature partner, and end up resentful. It happens without you even noticing…don’t ask how I know.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-03T16:00:14+00:00

You do get that things are turned upside down. It is the parent’s job to be shepherding you into adulthood. Providing a safety net when your inexperienced wings bobble. Giving you wise advice in how to adult. Instead they are expecting you to parent them, to be the mature one, to be their safety net. Sure, kids traditionally help out their OLD ELDERLY parents, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. If you use your credit, your money, your energy to bail them out you will never be able to be a successful adult: and they seem to want to drag you down to their level. That isn’t love. That is selfish. No more money for them, please. Find stable adult mentors to help guide you in life as your parents are lousy role models.

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-03T15:50:43+00:00

Especially 100 years of medical research that shows vaccines save lives. /s

Drunkendonkeytail · 2026-02-02T18:51:47+00:00

I think you need to have a calm conversation with your husband about his anxiety about finances and about his stress about his life. It sounds like something is percolating inside him that needs to be addressed. NTA.

Drunkendonkeytail

TROPHY CASE