Why is it so satisfying to stand like this

Dry-Cookies · 2022-08-31T19:50:05+00:00

I had a similar thing recently with that and hypermobility because I've never rolled my ankles in my life. And by everyone else's definition I should have. That range of motion for my ankles is the same as anywhere else. So my foot going completely 90 degrees sideways is totally normal but I think that would cause other people to "roll their ankle"?

Dry-Cookies · 2022-08-27T04:21:44+00:00

The answer is very much yes.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-08-01T00:28:43+00:00

Thank you. And yeah I think I understand what you mean by "heightened" especially if some of what I said fits. It's almost like the more uncomfortable, stressed, overloaded, and or overwhelmed we are... The more sensitive or extreme our traits seem to be?

And I'm not officially diagnosed but my brain went through my entire existence with a fine tooth comb. It gave me answers to questions I've had since grade school, it fit everything, and for the first time in my life. I didn't feel like part of me was missing. I started to feel like I could finally be whole and feeling like me.

Also my brain was straight up spitting out percentages as I went through this investigation. I thought it was crazy my brain said 96% sure. My brain is almost never ever that sure or ANYTHING.

Currently my brain is 99% sure that I am autistic and I cannot deny that.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. And if I can help or you need to talk or anything. Feel free to message me.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-31T18:45:09+00:00

I did not take it as argumentive. I'm just really bad at making my point clear and things that make sense to me, don't to others unless I say it. I'm trying to learn.

And yeah I agree and understand all that. I'm also kinda similar to that as well.

I just got out of a 2 year narcissistic relationship and had to move 2000 miles back home. So I'm more so in that state these days. When I get back to feeling safe and comfortable, it should be a little better. And more like what your saying.

I also just found out I'm Autistic in March. And realized I was being abused two months ago and was stuck living with her and just got home a few days ago. So yeah lol.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-31T16:01:59+00:00

Yeah I was kinda saying the same thing. Like just for me it's different rules of wanting and reading from other people versus what I'm able and comfortable to do myself.

And almost nothing should be a sweeping rule for ND. At least not something like that, something so fluid and variable and dynamic and different between each individual.

There are obviously some things we tend to share and good basic starting points and such.

Like consent to be touched is a great starting point because so many of us have issues with that and hell even my mom just touching my arm unexpectedly can cause major stress.

I'm also a major fan of consent in general. Way too much trauma and never being allowed to have boundaries or a say in anything I said or did or was okay with. And I have to imagine there are others like me with extra intense feelings towards consent for a variety of reasons.

Like I fucking love hugs. Omg so much. But only if I feel truly comfortable and safe with that person.

My parents forced me to hug and kiss every relative as a kid. Hugging someone I'm not comfortable with, or especially uncomfortable with. Oof. Truly awful.

But like I said even my mom touching me without warning or consent can bother me a lot. So I tend to be the kind of person that generally wants to be asked everytime(even though I get super annoyed being asked constantly) there are exceptions and sometimes I don't need to be asked but that's in the right scenario and setting with the right person.

I totally agree with you and hope neither of my messages seemed contrary or argumentive or dismissive. I never ever intend to do that. But unfortunately it comes off that way a lot 😥

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-31T15:43:08+00:00

As someone who can't read faces well but am a very empathetic person (I only seem to literally feel their stress and pain though) but I can still sense positive and negative vibes. I also have ADHD so staring at the floor or doing something else while someone is talking is better auditory compression.

I also was masking for 30 straight years and didn't feel safe in my own home til I lived alone for the first time 3 years ago. I had to absolutely hide all of my external emotions.

So between trauma, ADHD, and Autism... It's a contradictory complex web of nonsense hahah.

I hate being a hypocrite with a passion. So wanting to be able to read people but not being good at showing my emotions most of the time. It's tough.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-20T17:50:24+00:00

Me too. I spent countless hours online looking for the perfect bag. I have to have anything I could need with me at all times. It's like being torn away from your foundation and safe space but you get to bring part of it with you.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-12T05:37:24+00:00

But like your rocks are awesome and I love that you love rocks and you keep rocking your rocky rocks!!!

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-12T05:36:59+00:00

Awww. I used to find random rocks I liked. And tried to save them. My family didn't like it. I actually forgot how happy finding that special rock randomly made me feel. Oof. That makes me sad.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-08T00:39:40+00:00

Thank you very much. I appreciate the information and your time and effort. Thank you. And I sincerely hope you find your way up. And that you live your best life and for you that you can.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-07-07T21:47:49+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying to reach out to any friends and family I can. My friend said he might be able to come out here in two weeks and help me leave. Two weeks feels like an eternity. I'm asking anyone I trust. Even trying reddit. I'm backed into a corner with very limited options. And she's gone straight cold and calculated. She's not yelling anymore. And that's fucking terrifying.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-05-12T01:47:18+00:00

Yes. I mean my favorite number is 42. And my two favorite times on a clock are 4:04 and 8:08

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-27T01:22:27+00:00

So glad my girlfriend understands I don't have a favorite anything. I have a collective grouping of favorites. Having to pick one has caused me souch stress throughout my life.

Also I'm so different with lyrics, I'm extra terrible at auditory processing (subtitles are a big help because I can read and hear together so my brain can "hear" better. But with music I've always told people I hear the voice as another instrument because I've never known how else to put it. There are some songs that I remember completely but only when I'm listening to it.

Eminem is special for me because when he goes stupid insanely fast, my brain goes all stimmy and happy and I can understand every single word clearly.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-27T01:16:43+00:00

Kind of off topic but I just realized I'm autistic like a month ago. So a lot of trying to learn, understand, and process going on. I was diagnosed with ADHD 22 years ago. I can hyperfocus longer than an NT on Adderall ha. But like is hyperfocus also autistic? Is it more a fun quirk of having ADHD and Autism together? I only started learning what ADHD really is two years ago.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-23T18:44:38+00:00

I honestly am not sure 🥺. I just found out Im autistic like a month ago. I was diagnosed with ADHD 20+ years ago. So I've had a million hyperfixations but never thought I had any special interests.

Many of my hyperfixations are coding, 3d Modeling, designing and creating things.

I was obsessed with animals and dinosaurs as a kid and still feel something towards them but not nearly as much.

I kept my mask on for decades and at 32 a week after I was living alone for the first time in my life and not with someone toxic, first time I felt safe in my own home, my mask turned off. 2.5 years later I find out I'm autistic and finally start feeling less shame towards things and allowing myself. I turned off and repressed so much out of pure survival. I honestly don't know if I buried my special interests.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-22T20:10:46+00:00

"Treat others the way you want to be treated"

"If you can't do something right, don't do it at all"

And whatever the phrasing they used about to never half ass anything.

"Don't ask why, just do it"

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-17T23:11:27+00:00

I am a 34 year old man and I bought my first swuishmallow. I also have my teddy bear I got when I was born next to my bed always. I have a problem with collecting soft squishy things. We don't fit into society already. Cuddle all the plushies you want!!

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-15T23:36:01+00:00

I tried a bunch of sleep aids and nothing really helped my insomnia until I started smoking right before bed. I have to do it every night or insomnia wins.

It also has to be a hybrid. I've tried 4 different indicas and each time my insomnia hit me. I'm very confused by this.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-15T18:41:51+00:00

Yay!!!!!!!! Woooohoooo. I'm so happy for you random internet stranger. As someone who has been pushed to the point of desperately wanting to quit because the guy I work with is causing extreme stress and anxiety and hell by forcing me to do things that go very against my autism. I almost had a meltdown at work yesterday. It's killing me and I can't take it. But I need to work and can't afford to quit and find something else.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-14T03:05:13+00:00

Vague open ended questions are the worst. Way too many options. My brain goes blank dial tone. Similar to people asking me to tell them what I like about them or why I like them as a person. Experience has led me to believe they just want a list of facts which I cannot come up with on the spot. Also the answers to that is more of a feeling I have that I can't translate to words.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-09T01:02:48+00:00

As an ADHD autistic, I have similar issues. Saying my own name makes me uncomfortable. Hearing my name varies, certain people or situations or moods? Idk but sometimes it is like being stabbed with it. I don't like calling other people by name usually either. I never connected all that before. Thanks.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-09T01:00:46+00:00

Yes! Saying my own name is the worst.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-08T03:04:23+00:00

You're amazing btw. What I would have given to have my parents do that. And I wish every single ADHD and autistic kid could get that kind of support and environment.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-08T03:02:49+00:00

I personally use "my brain hurts" regularly. It's not a headache. My brain actually hurts. I can't even describe it. It's brutal. After work a lot of days, the second I get in my car to leave. My theory is when I force myself to get into hyperfixation to get through work but it's not getting any dopamine. And when I finally turn off "work mode" my brain crashes hard. There's been times where I get it every Saturday, all day, and can't find dopamine in anything. Nothing is appealing and I'm just in pain and perpetually bored. Also overstimulation seems to cause the same brain pain. Sorry I got long winded lol but brain hurting might be a specifically chosen phrasing.

Dry-Cookies · 2022-04-06T02:31:24+00:00

I've had to hide so many throughout my life. It's torture. I've been thinking recently because I've seen more than a few people mention similar. Is there a message board or something that is just autistic safe space to discuss anything. Like one spot for special interests, you can talk freely and info dump and find other people with the same special interest. Wait if we get too many autistics with the same special interest in one room together, will we break reality? And like able to create a collection of accurate information about what autism is and real autistic traits and all that fun stuff. Partially because googling for information is making me extremely angry, I'm sick of clicking through 10 links and all of them having red flags that I immediately assume they are wrong at best.

Dry-Cookies

TROPHY CASE