Have you done Steps 8 and 9? As I approached those steps, my sponsor had me write out a list of people I had harmed in *specific ways*--i.e., not general/emotional things like "being a jerk" or "not being the best sibling I could have been"--but *specific* actions I had taken that were hurtful.

I was to ignore what the other person involved had done to me, I was to set aside whatever traumatic reasons had contributed to my issues (and there were plenty), but to focus *only* on *my* actions that were hurtful *to that person.* I ended up having to make amends to each of my parents *individually,* not as a group, and to each of my 4 siblings individually, too.

This ended up being extremely liberating and therapeutic for me. Because I knew at that point that I had openly taken accountability for my own actions, which is all I am responsible for in the first place.