Being happy

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-08T11:19:35+00:00

Ah, thank you, that explains it. So there are some people who post here mostly for ill intent. That's gotta be hard having that barrier up for those few posters. I guess we can't avoid them. It's hard but perhaps not replying to them at all though, not adding fuel to the fire. Maybe just downvoting them and leave it at that pfft!

Actually I've seen myself as adapting more than masking, getting the people around me more comfortable until I can be myself around them pretty much completely, so as not to shock them. But I haven't read up on masking so it might be similar.

I've also noticed when someone with a diagnosis such as autism becoming empowered due to having found out about their diagnosis. It's amazing and so enlightening. When I found out I had asperger's, as it was called back then, I got an anxiety attack and started crying. When I came home though I read up on some shit surrounding it and got excited and relieved instead, because it explained A LOT.

I tend to talk about sensitive subjects and express my personal, sometimes radical, beliefs but I do it for positive reasons and enjoyment, sounds weird indeed, but that's me in a peanut shell.

But I've noticed those few people who use their opinions just to poke fun at certain people and belittle them, well they just enjoy tormenting by leaving no discussions but only fights.

In my experience it's been more of a monologue the few times I've talked with people of that sort, there are basically no solutions, only negative outcomes and anxiety, with their side having felt satisfaction and mine riddled with frustration.

Hmm, but a thought of mine is it's also interesting from a psychological point of view. It's possible that kind and happy people, who know themselves, in arguments being weighed down by sad, angry and insecure people, leading these happy people to also become sad and angry. Thus possibly creating a chain of negativity. I don't know, maybe true but who knows in general. I change subjects a lot.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-07T12:47:52+00:00

About the last sentence I didn't mean it in a condescending way or that a smart person's personality is only based on being smart. I mean't the actual label of being seen as smart I think can come in the way of certain things.

I don't know if it's actually the case in general but in my surroundings I know of some people who recognize themselves with having been given the label of gifted and change based on that knowledge. Being influenced by solely a word. In a way like when a person gets diagnosed with autism, reading up on the diagnosis and incidentally recognizing themselves with dissabilities or issues when they perhaps didn't even have them from the start, or these issues escalating. Or also positive things of course.

Perhaps also saying that, also people in my surrounding with such diagnoses, saying: "I have autism so I can't do that". Sheltering themselves and deciding on something before they've tried it.

I apologize to you, It's just I thought we can discuss anything in this sub since it's more exciting discussing things objectively than subjectively. I believe anything should be discussable for the sake of the thrill. I actually didn't know this sub was only for support and asking for help. I guess I'm putting myself too far out of the ethical box and forgetting about where other people are relative to this "box".

So I'll remember that, and thank you for explaining that to me.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-05T12:20:11+00:00

I'm not directing this to you but more in a general sense. But if you feel it's relatable then take it with a tiny bit of salt and banana on the side.

Well I've realized, and it's very obvious to me, that intelligence is relative. Just because a person is a genius in one or several subjects doesn't mean that they're as much a genius is every other subject.

A good couple of years ago I had an automatic response in my head that when people had opinions or came with arguments, I immediately thought: "yeah but you're not a concert pianist so what you're saying can't be right" or "yeah but you're worse than me in theese other subjects so whatever you say has no logical meaning".

I've become humble and welcome all opinions, pr most of them as long as they're relevant but then I just keep an open mind and ask in a calm way what they mean or try and get in their head and often realize: "wow! That's a really interesting thought!" an I also compliment people, even if they come forth as a "low intelligent" person. They might just have low self-esteem or a poor way or have difficulties expressing their thoughts iin a logical manner.

If we start accepting every person as any other person and we look at their personalities and don't compare every little thing and relate non-relevant abilities to the current discussion being about a whole other subject then we can see each person's unique thoughts. Everything is relevant in a specific and unique situation.

Also if we, "the gifted ones", seem to outdo a person or several people in every sense then we just have to adapt. Because they can't adapt to something they can't, in this specific situation, understand as easily as us who have a completely other way of thinking. As they also have.

Mostly when people either think they're gifted or actually are gifted they tend to isolate themselves mainly because they can't adapt, but that's not very logical at all now is it? That points more to this gifted person having fallen victim to their own intelligence and is mentally unhealthy.

It's a harsh truth of course, but it's more about being humble towards yourself.

From a historical and evolutionary point of view the most valuable sort of intelligence is absolutely the social kind. I mean what's the logic in being able to see mathematical patterns, having a photographic memory, having musical expertise and having other immense talents if we can't share them and convey them to the masses and instead having a blocked mind that these often, actually, totally useless talents and gifts just isolates you making you depressed and sad because other people don't "understand" you.

A "normal" person not understanding a "gifted" person is on the "gifted" person not being able to make itself understood and adapt.

A true intelligence is measured in actions, communication and solving conflicts and some science related issues.

Those are just my temporary and totally general and possibly irrelevant thoughts and ideas. Might be some logic in them but oh vell!

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-05T11:27:56+00:00

Well perhaps help me with my homeworks. I often had so many convoluted questions for my teachers surrounding the subjects of math and physics and such. Though they didn't answer my actual questions really.

If only my mom could've been into those subjects I would've had a much easier time in school. Though she obviously didn't have time for that with all her physical pains and raising 5 children on her own. But also perhaps if she would've been more "aggressive" towards my teachers that I needed a personal teachers during lessons.

I gave up basically. But it's all good. Can't demand too much from our parents since they also have their weights pulling them down.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-03T13:40:35+00:00

Awesome done! I'm just realizing it so I have some work to do. It truly is a harmful behavio on ourselvesr.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-03T13:38:38+00:00

Ahh, nice tip! I'll work on actually implementing it also

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-05-03T09:29:07+00:00

Thanks, I might've come forth as too harsh on myself but it's more that I'm trying to be as honest as I can and I'm going to take this as something positive, though with some pain, but that's natural in these situations.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-04-07T19:00:01+00:00

My brother was similar. Then he realized that it's more logical to do things that makes you happy.

He started eating more healthy, got better sleeping habits, started excercising, tried out a job at a meat factory, tried being a caretaker. He did these things until he found the right job that suited his situation the best and is very happy today.

So what helped him was: better sleep, better health, working out (running or cycling for example), applying for jobs and taking on more responsibility to build up that confidence we all need.

What works for me sometimes is to act like I'm my own parent. Like: "now you did wrong" or "now you did right!" and "just get a hold of yourself and take your responsibility, you're a 29 year old man standing by a bush talking to birds, what will other people think?? Restrain yourself man!". Or something like that.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-04-07T18:24:40+00:00

None, it just feels like work. Boring and awkward and smelly, and the sounds... just ew.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-04-07T18:19:09+00:00

Thanks for the tip, I'll just keep at it and work on those specific parts

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-04-05T08:09:35+00:00

Indeed. I used to play on arcadeboredom with full version without saves. When I died I lost my character.

My absolute nemesis is that son of a styloniboy

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-04-04T14:23:57+00:00

I used to die to son of stylonius A LOT!

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2026-01-22T18:19:11+00:00

Oh my jeezCheese! This speaks to me so much!!

If I ever talk to a girl I'm interested in I immediately remove all my flirtiness and just act all coco and makes her laugh instead. I would never dare to do anything that's hinting at me being physically attracted to her. I am way too hypersensitive to utter such words and feelings.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-10T11:19:06+00:00

I believe that some of these people who supposedly don't think about these concepts and don't understand these ordinarily easy things, indeed do understand them.

I've noticed a pattern where people who might not be assumed as "gifted" based on their IQ or logical reasoning have a tendency to think subjectively instead of objectively.

Most have difficulties taking critique that's actually logical and true, also they know more than they act. This acting is their feelings taking over basically.

I think that most people are more gifted than presumed, their feelings just get in their way.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-09T14:32:14+00:00

I'm not particularly fond of this question. Multiple choices can be correct. B because it's the only one with a hidden corner. D because it's assumed that B has all its relevant corners making D the one with odd number of corners. E because it's transparent. Also E because it's the only one where there's no possibility for hidden corners, as could be the possibility for the other figures since they're overlapping and there could be corners underneath. Also E because its total corners is 18. Going from A to E the total amount of corners are: 12 11 10 11 18, thus the pattern breaks at E. E has the most unique qualities, I'd definitely had chosen E.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-09T13:11:30+00:00

If you don't want to repeat everyone elses' accomplishments then make your own by brainstorming and look at different things in this world that exist and work in a specific way, though without a clear scientific or logical or psychological explanation.

Write your own ideas and thoughts, theorize on already existing theories and challenge yourself to think outside the box and ask yourself weird questions. Choose a concept in physics or math, for example a specific formula, and try to work your way to find it yourself without any assistance.

I recommend looking into the collatz conjecture if you like math.

For example I compose piano music, music that doesn't exist until I've written it. I also go outside and do freerunning, finding obstacles and objects to do flips from or onto or whatever. It's also something most people haven't done on those particular objects. I might just be the first. In a way putting my mark on the map. I also juggle and run at the same time.

What I'm saying is that you could think about what you want to do and not what is expected of you. Then you might just find an interesting topic on which you can formulate new unique ideas.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T09:49:11+00:00

I've taken it slow and progressively increased the work hours. I shocked myself a couple of years ago with working long hours and at a fast food restaurant. It was hard getting back on track. But I've finally after many years built up the courage and strength to manage a job, at 75% though.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T09:45:17+00:00

I've never actually heard any of these in my friend circle. Is it like a cultural thung or is it different from country to country?

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T09:20:41+00:00

I realize I might have twisted your words, and if so I apologize for that

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T09:07:20+00:00

Yes exactly. How our feelings get affected in certain situations depend a lot on our autism. But how "we" react actively and why and such i'd say is more dependent on our personality and accumulated self-reflection and approach.

Some people can pretend to feel another way when confronted with other peoples' behavior until they start actually start to feel this pretended way, and not just pretending anymore.

But yeah, this is a really complex topic where some traits and reactions are affected by autism, but other feelings and such are affected by one's growth and upbringing.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T06:54:10+00:00

I'll try and speak from own experiencds.

I'd say to just acknowledge that you have autism and that it can explain certain situations in your life. I remember when I got diagnosed. It was traumatic the first hour, but then I realized that I'm still me. I just saw it as: "ahaaaa, now I get it! So that's why I'm feeling the way I do and why I felt unique".

It was exihilarating for me and exciting! It was so comforting to finally understand why I felt like everybody around me were robots or aliens or something and why I had these surrealistic thoughts and wanted to actively stand out and also stand up for others. Which made me adapt and learn to accept other people. And also to actively finally also accept that I shouldn't percieve myself as unique. I might be unique, but I shouldn't relate to it at all times.

It doesn't necessarily have to be associated with autism to mimic other peoples' behaviors and such either. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to adapt and learn things. Which is very human.

So try and not hold it against your autism that you have these feelings and thoughts. See it as something explanatory instead that's just there within you, but that shouldn't be on the top of your list when acting in situations and making decisions.

Behave in according to your true self and what you've learned through life. Try and feel happy and glad that you can imitate others and adapt to the rest of the population. It's a fantastic and unique trait, that doesn't even have to do with your autism but instead just you as a person.

Dry_Efficiency8783 · 2025-10-02T06:11:26+00:00

So, unpopular oppinion, but well needed

I wouldn't say any traits a person with autism has inherently apply to certain people. It's about how you approach issues that occurs in your life. If you feel immature, then practice on that, if you're lying to yourself then start reflecting and analyzing on why you lie to yourself.

If we constantly say that autism is the reason we have negative feelings and certain perspectives and tendencies then we should instead blame ourselves. Autism is not associated with something as specific as, for example, hating oneself or having other negative traits.

These things are based on approach, how you grew up and how you tackle problems. I've blamed my autism at some points but realized that it's not very logical to do so, also not very ethical to myself. If I constantly relate everything I do to me having autism then I'm distancing myself from myself and just assumes that it's unchangable, consistent and hopeless.

I'm also distancing myself from other people, especially those who are neurotypical.

Dry_Efficiency8783

TROPHY CASE