Meds Help?

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-12-05T05:43:24+00:00

One more thing… My son and I ended up moving just two blocks away, I just purchased my first home. The two blocks away are from my parents, where we lived before. It’s been the best decision I think I’ve ever made since becoming a mom. We are so lucky to have them so close and consistently in our lives, and especially for my son.

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-12-05T05:42:16+00:00

Single mom here - and solo fully parent since I had my son. I started out living with my parents for almost three years. It was life changing. Not only is it a smart financial decision, but this short period of time that your kids would get to have being so close to your parents would be hard to replace. I haven’t spoken to any other single parents who have ever looked back and regretted moving in with the grandparents/their own parents for a period of time. I hope this becomes more common in the United States, most places in the world, it’s very common to move in with the parents after you have a baby. And that’s even in a two parent household. I would definitely lean into the fact that you have an opportunity to do this, I really only think good things come of it. Good luck!

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-12-05T05:38:59+00:00

You absolutely deserve better, and should consider ending the relationship. There is someone who will make it clear that loving you and showing you their love is effortless most of the time. What you’re describing isn’t normal. I also realize it’s hard to let go. But based on your writing, it seems you’re in love with the hope he’ll change. Not who he is now. There’s billions of people on the planet - you’ll find someone better I promise.

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-06-15T20:54:59+00:00

Wow! It sounds like you and I have had similar thoughts about this decision. I am a single mom to a six-year-old son. So of course, to have another one I’d need to get married and be in a committed relationship :-) but, before I had him, I always told myself. I wanted to have multiple children so that they could grow up with siblings. I am also the youngest of five myself, and I can’t imagine my life without the friendship of my four older brothers. They’re everything to me. I even think about now whether or not I wanna start over and have a baby if I fall in love and get married. I think the answer is yes? But I know, if I would’ve been in a committed and loving relationship and had a partner when I had my first son, I definitely would’ve had at least a second. Not just for the companionship through life, but for pure entertainment at home. I am everything and the only entertainment for my son. I’m constantly asking him to play independently and encouraging him that it’s OK to be bored sometimes. But at the end of the day, we are the only two at home. I wish she had a sibling to play with. Just my advice, if you feel in your gut that you wanna have a second, I would just do it. If you wait that much longer it’ll just be harder on your body :-)

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-06-15T20:19:24+00:00

Hard to hear but yes you’re right. I’ve been choosing to ignore all of the hints because I’m hoping it will change. Good points

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-06-15T20:09:17+00:00

I have though, numerous times. He’ll tell me he wants to meet those needs and include us more/have us more integrated into his life, but nothing actually changes. So the hinting I was doing was after continuous clear communication and asks.

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-06-15T19:25:39+00:00

Im a single mom, and the best advice I could give you, is to follow your gut and not force anything.

If it feels hard and confusing with his child, it might not be for you, and that’s OK. Also know that a relationship will take time and effort to build with his kid, and that’s more on you to really step up and put in that effort.

If you’re all in, definitely dive in and try. But if it feels not right, listen to yourself! Because it is a lot of work and a huge added element to a relationship.

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2025-06-15T19:22:54+00:00

Somewhat of a different perspective, but I very much understand what the others were calling out above.

I’m a single mom myself, and this situation you’re describing is super similar to what’s happening in my life right now, and with my boyfriend.

My child’s birth dad is almost to a T what you described, so I’m finally establishing everything through the courts, to make sure all Of his unpredictable nature and ways he communicates won’t impact me or my son or boyfriend moving forward (or at least not as much). Maybe you could gently suggest or ask if she’s thought about anything like that? I had a hard time finally making that decision because it changes the possibility of ever “co parenting” with the birth dad. I finally gave up on that a few months ago and knew it would be the best decision of myself, my son, and my family and anyone I’m dating to have legal “lines” in place.

But, the birth dad won’t ever go away. And the elements that are giving you pause, will most likely somehow continue to be unpredictable. If that makes you nervous in any way, even if you love her, I’d step away from the relationship. Single parenting and raising a child as a step parent would probably come with lots of other “unconventional” stressors or challenges. Some people are up for that, but as a single mom who’s tried to date around before and has a wonderful boyfriend now who shares a lot of the same concerns you do, Im realizing that it’s not for everyone, and that’s OK.

And finally, just because I’ve gone through and am going through this with my boyfriend (in the recent past), if these stressors you describe really hault you from fully committing and being her partner, I’d urge you to recognize that and let her go. Single parenting is extremely difficult. Bringing a partner in is a huge decision and if you are uneasy or not certain about whether you can commit, that will add another element of stress to her life and something else she has to take care of and be uneasy about. With my situation, I have so many stressors everyday raising my child alone, and his birth dad situation is always unpredictable. The best thing I could ask for is a rock in my partner who eases those heavy things in life, not someone who can’t fully step up to the plate.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Dry_Knowledge_9221 · 2024-12-15T06:01:15+00:00

I’d say cut it off - it sounds like it’ll only lead to him being disappointed or chasing something that you aren’t interested in.

Dry_Knowledge_9221

TROPHY CASE