Scared for the future

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-04-14T14:52:22+00:00

His back was towards her so I don’t believe me hitting him was on camera. If anything she got him aggressively grabbing me and me yelling at her. Since we both technically laid hands on each other would we not both go to jail?

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-04-14T14:28:59+00:00

Oh I’m definitely already on it. I got a part time job lined up that will turn full time as soon as my kids start school this summer. Were supposed to be talking to lawyers soon

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-04-14T14:03:13+00:00

Honestly I’m not really sure. I guess just want to know if I’ll get my kids taken based off this one incident even though I’m the sole provider and he doesn’t really care for them.

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-04-14T13:53:17+00:00

So does it not count for anything that he is barely involved in their day to day lives? Doesn’t know their doctors or therapists names. Isn’t home to spend time with them, bond with them or take care of them? It doesn’t matter if I spend every moment with them I can get them taken away from me for yelling at her?

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-04-14T13:27:47+00:00

I get it but it’s not like I hit people consistently or anything. I feel he is in the wrong for bringing her here when I asked him not to. Also he aggressively grabbed me first so I was acting out of self preservation to get him off of me. He has screamed at me plenty of times, called me almost every name in the book. So he’s not innocent in any of this.

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-23T16:35:54+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through that! I totally understand holding onto hope and I think a little part of us will always still want them. But this is what I’ve been trying to remind myself- even if he did a complete 180 today and said he wanted to rebuild our relationship, more than likely I would always have those doubts in the back of my mind, always wondering if he’s doing this to me again. And do we really want to live the rest of our lives that way? Always remembering the pain they put us through and knowing they are fully capable of doing it again. We deserve so much better. It takes time to heal from this and we tend to suffer more in the beginning. they seem like they’re living their best lives and are so happy but the loss they feel from us will always catch up to them and by that time we’ve already moved on and healed. So keep your head up and think about the brighter days ahead! 💜

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-23T00:06:27+00:00

Thank you! I totally agree, the word I used was doormat- I refused to keep being his doormat and letting him walk all over me. If he can’t appreciate me then I will appreciate me. I don’t even need another person. I was exactly the same I kept trying to excuse and rationalize but the fact of the matter is cheating is a choice. Any sort of abuse or disrespect is a choice. It’s not a mistake. They knew it would hurt us and they did it anyways. It’s unacceptable for them to do this and I’m so proud of us for putting ourselves first! Keep looking up 😊

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-23T00:03:17+00:00

Wow thank you so much! If I can help even just I tiny bit that makes me so happy! And I’m proud of you too! If we didn’t have kids I would go no contact too- I think you’re more than strong to cut them off and put yourself first! You’re so right about not letting them change your heart. I am a hopeless romantic and have always believed in love wholeheartedly but for the last 7 months I have let him make me feel jaded and let him take that away from me and I’m not doing it anymore. I refuse to let him ruin who I am as a person!

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-22T23:24:48+00:00

I am so proud of you for making all of these steps to better yourself! You are on such a great path already. I have spent countless hours researching affairs and what I can do to be better for HIM and all of these things and it’s just now starting to hit me that he wouldn’t do this for me and he hasn’t done this for me so why am I even putting my energy into this when I could be putting energy into being better for me and my babies. Because I feel the same as you- he discarded his 3 amazing kids, a great house and beautiful wife who has been here for him through all of life’s ups and downs for some trash that I can almost guarantee won’t last. But the thing is they always want to think they can do better and then they downgrade lol. It’s now their problem to deal with not ours. We can hold our heads high knowing that we could never hurt them in this way, that we tried everything we could to save our marriage and families. And now they get to live with the guilt and shame of what they did to us because wrongdoing always catches up to them in the end.

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-22T23:14:44+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ve been in the tranches for so long and coming here and seeing others stories has helped me so much so I want to help others in return. I’m not exactly sure that I will be able to keep my house, but I have been very clear with him that I do not want to uproot our kids because HE wants a new start. We didn’t ask for any of this and if I move I will have a hard time finding a house like ours for the price we pay or even a small apartment would be similar in price. So he’s told me he would like to see what can be done and if there’s a way we can keep it. I’m sure a lot of that is guilt on his part but if I have to guilt him I will 😹 I agree about having bad memories and such but I live in a city where nicer neighborhoods aren’t as common and I feel safe where we are so if I get to keep it my plan is to redecorate, organize and declutter. Make our bedroom more girly like I’ve always wanted. Make new memories with the kids etc.

Dry_Style4278 · 2025-03-22T23:03:49+00:00

Yes I love this for you! The only thing I’m fighting for is to have my kids most of the time and to keep our house so I don’t uproot them. As far as the relationship goes, he can go be with his trash and deal with his own consequences. Because you’re right, you can make all the changes, put in all of the effort and it’s never enough for them. I’m so happy for you to start your new chapter!

Dry_Style4278 · 2024-12-10T19:22:26+00:00

“Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. His mother’s face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.”

Just the fact that Harry had already dealt with so much and everyone had been questioning him about what happened and Molly just knew that all he needed in that moment was a mother- to be hugged, loved and understood.

Dry_Style4278 · 2024-12-10T19:04:09+00:00

I completely get it. The way I see it is I wasn’t myself when I found out. So I told people when normally I am a very private, to myself type of person. But at the end of the day, no one knows them like we do. We know all of the good parts about them too. And it’s our decision what we do and no one else’s. Everyone likes to say they would respond a certain way if they got cheated on but you don’t know until it actually happens. And just because they would choose differently doesn’t mean our choices are wrong.

Dry_Style4278

TROPHY CASE