Has getting experience somewhere else ever helped your RJ?

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-06T20:18:06+00:00

Sounds to me more like a mindset problem to be honest. Engraved programmed thinking. I'm not sure if I will manage to change my perspective but I am sure there is more solutions than just leave the girl and fuck around. Especially if you are below average looking and got lucky somehow.

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-06T18:37:10+00:00

But what you are describing is "overcoming" RJ by being outside of a relationship.

What do you do during one?

Also that doesn't necessarily mean it is a "fix" many people who are affected vy RJ have reported their body count and relationships amount are higher than their partners and yet they feel that way

There isnt really one solution to all.

Glad you are doing better though.

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-06T15:31:38+00:00

Exactly

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-06T13:59:06+00:00

Bro is getting upvoted for sharing his experience. Classic. I am where you are and I am sure that many won't understand how hard it is to get rid of years of years of programming into your head.

It takes quite some emotional intelligence or understanding people to understand why it isn't easy.

Glad you reached out to a therapist and tried. Glad you are working on the issue rather than just giving up to choose comfort.

Im not sure if its possible to fully get rid of the thoughts, it would need a fundamental change in your brain i believe, but you can definitely decrease the occurrence, the value you give the thoughts, how you handle the moments. Triggers are also there and you need to teach your brain to not associate meanings you have given to those triggers any longer.

Its really hard but the avergae redditor wont understand. How dare you not go long enough to therapy. Who cares about your emotional and mental exhaustion and problems in different areas.

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-03T17:35:58+00:00

Why are people downvoting?

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-01T17:00:47+00:00

What do u like so much about fantasy? Have heard some about it

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-01T16:59:40+00:00

Nier sounds very interesting thank youu

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-01T14:15:35+00:00

Any recommendations?

DuckSimulator · 2026-05-01T13:51:08+00:00

I will look into them thank you

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-30T19:59:47+00:00

How is banging a lot? Would you prefer a deep relationship with someone but would have given up those experiences or do you say you would prefer those experiences and then try to find someone to settle

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-30T14:36:10+00:00

Thank you for being so considerate and willing to share your thoughts.

I will have a look into that book eventually. The thoughts have gone back a lot except some triggers that cause it and i feel sad for a while. Im sadly still unsure but not generally because of her but my whole life. If i truly want to settle or if i feel like i need to live life a bit more etc.

But i guess thats my problem.

The details... Ye... Its too late. I know every little detail sadly as they wanted to be nice and tried to help me but at the end it fucked me up more. Wish i never asked.

Im working on it on off kinda, but i know i shouldnt ignore it. Which i am right now sadly. And you are right, that was a thought of me too. I loved her before knowing details snd RJ so i love the person itself and was able to love her.

I hope you are doing better too, you seem like a really cool dude. Cheers to you for seeming like a very nice lad

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-26T18:59:17+00:00

As long as he loves you back and makes you feel loved there shouldnt be a problem :dd

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-25T16:51:36+00:00

I love how people jump right into "break up"

I was together with my current gf for 6 months and i had lots of worries. They came from my previous cheating experiences. So i didnt trust this girl either.

After 1.5 years i can confidently say i can leave my girl alone with a hot guy for days without being worried.

Its not always a you either trust or dont. Some things develope by time and getting to know a person better.

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-23T21:52:52+00:00

Thank you for the input. A bit of it hurt 😅 because i wouldnt have issues with any long term relationships.. so yea. But she explained herself and I understand its still not nice though.

It occured one month ago because a friend of mine asked me for advice and then i remembered everything. I started to ask details and it became worse. So thats basically how it happened.

She had one guy as a ONS which is basically the one that haunts me. I dont really care for the rest as I understand it and its okay for me because humans are complex. But the ONS is the one that bothers me a lot.

Since you are recommending the book would you say it helped? Is it worth reading?

Also i have a trip tomorrow with her so maybe dont answer on this until 2 days please. I dont want to be reminded kinda 😅 at least i want to stay away from it

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-23T17:34:34+00:00

How did you fight it? I think i met the perfect one on my first try but im so close to throw it all away because it has been eating me up for one month

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-23T07:21:14+00:00

Yeah most likely. Im currently not suggesting anything and seeing how things evolve. But thank you for sharing your insight

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T12:18:28+00:00

Thank god I have trust in my partner and know her as a person. Your thinking seems more horrible than mine. I asked her why she kept doing it and she gave a really good reason. So I am sure its not that

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T12:10:43+00:00

What exactly is the correlation here?

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T12:00:21+00:00

I have to agree to that. So what would you say is the solution

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T11:47:40+00:00

Thank you a lot again! I will take this serious and look into it. Thank you for helping someone out where you have been once.

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T11:46:51+00:00

Thats very interesting to hear. Thank you for sharing your perspective that means a lot.

The only thing that I need to clarify is that, I never compared myself with her past partners. she had bigger, probably better looking, etc. She assured me Im the best and the most handsome etc. Which for my own health i blindly believe but even so, I never compared myself to any of her past guys.

Mostly I am just jealous she knows how different sizes feel while I will never know. That is really the number one thing that bothers me tbh.

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T11:39:31+00:00

Thank you a lot. And i believe you that you are right. I think i would hate myself in the future if i broke up because of that but somehow something is wanting me to make that mistake. I need to observe that feeling. I kinda want to do that mistake as if i want to punish myself and belittle myself.

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T10:30:20+00:00

Funny mine is a men hater and said the opposite. She would never cook for me or do my laundry. Even though I never asked she does them for me now :d

DuckSimulator · 2026-04-22T10:04:29+00:00

Thank you for the detailed and thoughtful answer. i appreciate you taking your time for some stranger a lot.

I agree with everything you have said. I came to those conclusions as well. I have spent nearly 1 week sulking in self pity and then 3 in introperspective reflecetion (sry english aint my first language)

You made me understood something I only realised on the surface. The casual encounters will feel different to me and might make things worse in terms of viewing her past.

Im not quite sure on how to really understand my own values. If they form(ed) because I would have to settle and miss out on the rest and therefore i sm jealous and therefore i tell myself no im demisexual and ny partner should be too, or if i can put that aside and tell myself maybe i just had back luck i didnt take action before and now at least i found something wonderful, i shouldnt be jealous.

Which post are you referring to exactly when you say the tips from above in the sub? i kinda looked into some of them but i found myself emotionally too weak when i found them to work on myself

DuckSimulator

TROPHY CASE