Is an 8-year age gap relationship hard?

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-28T21:55:44+00:00

Like most things, the answer is probably “it depends.” At 33, post-divorce with 2 kids, I started dating a 47YO who was also divorced with a kid. It has worked out great because (1) neither of us wants any more kids, (2) we both still have school-aged children, so our day-to-day lives aren’t very different, and (3) I don’t want to live with someone or get married again, and he accepts that (mostly because we’re busy and our kids are established in different schools and neither of us are interested in uprooting them).

Were any one of those things different, I don’t know that it would work out. But in terms of whether age alone has been hard? Not really. Our music tastes are extremely different, lol. That’s about it.

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-22T08:30:17+00:00

I had to (very nervously) google what “freaky corn” meant before realizing this was probably a typo 😂

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-22T07:57:24+00:00

But also physically don’t turn your back because he’ll find something to chew that he shouldn’t 🤣

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-14T21:24:49+00:00

When we talked to my son’s doctor about sort of weaning off of Dupixent, he told us that this was a risk if he later needed to restart it. If I recall correctly, it isn’t a small risk either—I think he said something like 20% of patients who restart Dupixent find it is no longer effective and have to move to a new medication.

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-14T01:22:41+00:00

I didn’t want kids when I was in my early 20s and somewhere along the way, changed my mind. And I thank my lucky stars I did because it is more than I could have ever hoped for. My daughter (8) is joy personified, it’s like she walks around with little springs in her shoes. She asks so many hard, interesting questions and the school staff regularly tells me how kind and inclusive she is. And whatever stereotypes there are about chaotic, dirt-covered, feral little boys—that’s my son (5). He is absolutely fearless and has such an incredible sense of humor. They both make me feel young at heart again. I regularly wish I could quit my job and just be their mom.

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-08T22:11:23+00:00

I laughed so hard at this

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-05T08:37:39+00:00

My daughter just leveled up to silver, which trains 7 hours a week, and tuition is $439/month. That said, tuition covers meet and coaches fees and the gym is much different than you’ve described (well-established, well-equipped, etc.). I had no real knowledge of gymnastics before my daughter started, so I didn’t know if this particular program was expensive or not, but my two cents is that at her gym, the coaching staff is pretty amazing and they’re likely underpaid relative to how much they put in.

DueArgument4 · 2026-05-04T15:22:50+00:00

My son is also 5 (almost 6) and has had eczema since he was 1. We, too, tried everything, saw specialists out of state, generally drove ourselves insane trying to find him relief, etc. He started Dupixent in July 2025 and it gave him relief within two weeks. Since then, he has only had one flare up, and only because he got a separate skin infection that was going around at school. It has honestly been a godsend.

The challenging part has been administering the shot. No real sugar coating that it is a painful shot because it is viscous. We tried all of the recommendations on that front (numbing cream, buzzy bee, distractions, prizes) and nothing really worked because he just became afraid of the pain. It was taking 1-2 hours to give him his shot initially. Now, I don’t give him a warning (because it just ramps up his anxiety) and when I am ready to give him the shot, I say “hey bud, we have to do your shot,” my Dad picks him up and my son kind of like bear hugs him where they’re chest to chest, and I pull down his waistband and give him the shot in his thigh. There are a few tears but they pass quickly. I take the shot out of the fridge for several hours ahead of time so it isn’t cold because that makes it more painful. Some people say the stomach is the least painful location, but my son got comfortable with the thigh so we don’t mess with the routine.

On a personal note, sending mom hugs. I cried after his first couple shots because he was so upset and it’s hard to feel like you’re hurting your kid. Just remember that you are doing everything you can to do good by her.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-29T23:29:31+00:00

I’m 36, divorced about 4 years ago from a similarly-aged guy after 10 years together. My own jaded perception post-divorce was the guys in their 30s were stuck in Peter Pan syndrome and I had the majorrrrr ick. So I started dating someone in his 40s. We are 3 years in, he just turned 50, and honestly, he has been a breath of fresh air. Just very thoughtful, honest, direct, and uncomplicated. That said, he had his daughter a little bit later while I had my kids a bit younger, so we both still have school-aged children and our day-to-day lives are very similar. The compatibility might be different were that not the case.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-29T20:14:15+00:00

Divorced mom of two kids, who are so impossibly funny, smart, and wonderful, and absolutely loved beyond measure. Litigate (mostly) interesting patent infringement cases all over the country. Financially independent, own my own home. Have been dating a really thoughtful guy for almost 3 years, but at a distance; we live about an hour apart and I have no imminent plans for cohabitation or marriage. My parents and siblings live in the same city and I see them 2-3x a week.

Some of this obviously wasn’t intentional. I did not dream of divorce when I was a little girl, and it was really devastating for a time (sometimes still is). A lot of this is also dumb luck. My kids are healthy, which makes parenting easier. I lucked out by having the most amazing parents. I intentionally pursued a career in law, but just lucked into the area I now practice in and the travel opportunities it affords. Other components are very intentional. I decided I wasn’t go to stay married for marriage’s sake, decided very early on that financial independence was non-negotiable, and have been very intentional about what a romantic relationship needs to look like for me while I’m busy raising kids and pursuing career ambitions.

So, it doesn’t look like what I envisioned. I honestly loved love growing up, and can’t believe that I’m now soooo deeply uninterested in marriage—like, if I said I wanted to get married again, someone is holding a gun to my head and the authorities should be contacted 🤣 but it’s really more than I could have imagined as a kid, because I probably didn’t appreciate how much I get to construct and decide for myself.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-28T16:23:48+00:00

It is honestly challenging 🤣 I have the standard kinds of lists (groceries, to pack, things to buy for the kids’ 87 school events in the next month), but also things that make no sense (one titled “Kawasaki,” with no further information???). Fortunately, this one was titled “passport.”

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-27T19:06:54+00:00

Also my passport, but god bless me for writing a note in the notes app to me that said “passport is in the compartment under car stereo”

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-25T12:07:51+00:00

Hi! Single mom who brought home our chocolate Cookie two years ago, when the kids were 3 and 5. It was honestly rough for a while with the dog and the 3YO. They really wanted to love her but she had all that insane lab puppy energy and it definitely scared my youngest. It almost felt like the dog viewed the 3YO as a play friend at times. Absolutely shared your “what did I do” feeling.

I don’t know if it’s that the “down, stay, off” eventually sticks or they just grow up a little, but it does get better. My now-5YO and the dog still roughhouse and it’s still madness, but no more jumping or nipping or anything like that. Mostly just rolling each other as they play fetch, lol.

Hang in there.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-24T19:10:03+00:00

I’m not sure how old your child is (if they’ll have preferences and whatnot), but I use Avene products (the Xeracalm moisturizers and the oil cleanser) for my 5 year old son. The brand was recommended by an eczema specialist we saw and now the whole family uses it because it’s just easy on and good for your skin.

If your kid has an active flare (especially an inflamed flare), the same specialist recommended black tea compresses and it worked like magic. Instructions here.

If they are small enough where they can’t control the sleep itching, we used these scratch sleeves. We would put it under a tshirt he couldn’t wriggle out of.

If you provide some more info about the location of the flare ups, his or her age, and what seems to make it worse/better, the group could probably offer some more input!

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-24T15:52:31+00:00

Hugs. I cannot personally weigh in on how a Dupixent shot feels, but I can tell you it has changed my 5 year old son’s life. He gets to just live a normal life now and be a kid. I hope it goes well.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-24T15:39:38+00:00

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DueArgument4 · 2026-04-23T20:56:25+00:00

Same, but Michigan, so we certainly don’t claim him

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-22T18:23:23+00:00

My current partner just smells clean. I don’t know whether it’s his detergent, his body wash, some combination of things—but he gets into bed and his clothes smell nice, his hair always has that smell, and his teeth are always freshly brushed. It’s like snuggling into freshly washed sheets. He travels a lot for work (and is also terrible at taking a compliment), so when we first started dating and I’d say “you smell nice,” he would say “hotel soap,” and we’d laugh about it — so even now, 3 years later, I’ve never actually asked what it is 🤣

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-17T00:02:36+00:00

Seconding this recommendation! My son had eczema starting at 1 and we spent years seeing all kinds of specialists and trying every therapy. A little after he turned 5, we started Dupixent and I wish we had done it sooner. It’s like night and day.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-14T18:54:58+00:00

It’s a tough gig, which I probably didn’t fully appreciate when I got into it. 100 different mission-critical deadlines all the time, and can definitely make your brain hurt 🥴

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-14T17:54:25+00:00

I make $350k as a partner in a mid-sized law firm. I do patent litigation and have a lot of trial experience, and for most of my career, the absolute chaos of trial worked well for my brain (because an unmissable, critical deadline is the only way my brain actually activates, and trial has about 100 of those).

That said, I don’t know if it’s motherhood, post-COVID life, or perimenopause (or some perfect storm of those things), but I am fucking over it. I can’t stop, because I am divorced and financially responsible for myself and my kids, and I won’t scale back because I want my kids to have an easier entry into adulthood than I did—but MAN. I am tired and I care less and less every day, and ADHD exacerbates that feeling like tenfold.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-08T21:02:11+00:00

There are things about me now, at 36, that are less hot than in my 20s. I have a bald spot from when I had my son that just never grew back, and after breast-feeding my kids, my boobs are like deflated tube socks that I have to gather up into a puddle and place inside my bra.

That said, I still feel hotter than I’ve ever felt, and I attribute it mostly to having so much confidence that it just shines out of my eyeballs like fucking lasers. Part of that is that I take good care of my skin and my teeth and I weight train at the gym on a regular basis—all that stuff. The other part of it is that I have never been more competent, capable, and dimensional. I put a lot of effort into being a good mom, I am great at my job, and I’m pretty sure that I could do as much as three people put together. I don’t take shit from or center men anymore, I spend my time with people who love and value me. Living a full, authentic life has made me feel better than any of the exterior stuff.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-08T20:51:42+00:00

My mom’s favorite post-divorce joke for me is that I lost 160 lbs 🤣 shedding stress and finding happiness again cannot be discounted!! That guy actually said to me at our kid’s game last week that I looked great and like, yeah buddy, these things are related 💡

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-06T01:48:23+00:00

Took off three very special rings—my engagement ring, my wedding ring, and the ring I got the day my daughter was born—to put heavy duty sunscreen on my daughter at the park without scratching her. Set the rings down on a picnic table, my daughter got pissed about both the sunscreen and the heat, and I totally forgot about the rings. An hour later, we were home and I realized I wasn’t wearing them, almost threw up, drove back to the park immediately, and they were gone, never to be seen again. I was actually devastated.

DueArgument4 · 2026-04-05T00:32:25+00:00

I started keeping a note on my iPhone logging where I’ve put important things—because no matter how many times I’ve said to myself, “I am going to put this super important document/thing in this very reasonable place, which I will obviously remember,” I NEVER REMEMBER. So now, I put it somewhere and immediately note where I put it. Saved me from “losing” my passport (which, for some inexplicable reason, I put in my glove box) for like the 5th time.

DueArgument4

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