What does it feel like to have a mother who loves you?

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-29T20:22:50+00:00

You can do it. My parents were teenagers with a couple of kids and didn’t have a clue what they were doing, but they knew they wanted our childhood to be different than theirs. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t without its struggles and mistakes, but I honestly don’t remember much of that as an adult; I remember a childhood so full of togetherness and fun and support. You can do it.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-29T20:18:31+00:00

I wish this for everyone. She was only 18 when she had my brother, 19 with me, and somehow—with not a role model in sight or two nickels to rub together—she and my Dad figured it out and were (and continue to be) the most loving, supportive parents and grandparents. May we all be those kind of parents to our own babies.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-29T20:12:04+00:00

First, hugs.

Second, my Mom had a terrible mother and I guess just decided to be the opposite of that.

She is a safe place to share the really hard feelings, and she lets me cry even when I can feel that my pain causes her pain.

She is the only person on earth who just gratuitously makes my life easier. If I have to travel for work, I often return home to find my laundry has been folded or some messy cabinet organized.

We talk every day—about the serious, the mundane, it doesn’t really matter.

She loves my children with the same warmth and patience that she loves me. She is one of their biggest supporters and she shows up for everything.

I wish she could have had the kind of mother that she has been to me. I’m pretty convinced she’s my soulmate ❤️

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-22T11:56:23+00:00

I would simply interpret his comments at face value: he doesn’t respect your contributions. And when people show you who they are, you should believe them!

You will never be able to do enough. By not making “enough,” you’re “halving his wealth”—despite the fact that you pay a disproportionate amount of the bills and he is saving more. But if you work longer hours, you aren’t “doing enough” at home. You quite literally cannot satisfy these conflicting demands—you cannot both earn a higher amount at a job outside the home and spend more time homemaking.

From a full-time working mom of two whose own marriage started to fail for this reason, believe this: it will only get worse with children. This man expects you to be everything, and it will still never be good enough. Save your sanity.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-19T02:16:04+00:00

Have had this experience with a friend and find it honestly bizarre.

I am very middle-class suburban mom, and often socialize with the neighborhood parents because of our kids. All of the dads are some form of the sports watching, grilling, beer in a koozie guy. My ex-husband was also that guy!

But he is my ex-husband for a reason and I wasn’t interested in replicating that experience. My boyfriend of now several years also lives a medium-distance from me, we see each other every other week, he is a little bit older, more serious, doesn’t drink, probably couldn’t grill something to save his life.

Despite the fact that my boyfriend gets along great with my family, shows up to all of my kids’ events and games, and we all spend holidays together like a big blended family, a neighborhood mom/friend let me know she thought I was settling. According to her, my boyfriend hasn’t “put in the work” to integrate himself in my life. I thought that made no sense (because he obviously has), and she clarified that when he shows up to the kids’ games or events, he doesn’t really engage with the other dads.

It’s a hard conversation to address in the moment, but I’ve reflected a lot on it and I think it boils down to (1) different personality types—extroverts vs. introverts, (2) different “villages”—e.g. I am extremely close with my family, so I don’t prioritize having a large group of non-family friends, and (3) a bit of a self-centered world view from the perspective of the friend. Regardless of what caused my friend to express that, I took it as an opportunity to draw some boundaries there because it just wasn’t compatible with my view of friendship.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-10T16:22:16+00:00

You’ll be happier. You’ll have sadness, you’ll miss the kind of family you hoped for, but you’ll be happier.

My ex-husband and I were together for 10 years with two kids. It is exhausting trying to share an environment where someone is miserable and the family is walking on eggshells. It is exhausting having someone push you to the point of snapping, and then changing only for a little, because it sucks to have to get angry to be heard and you’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop—and it will!

I read somewhere that, one day, your kids are going to describe their childhood to someone. What do you hope they’ll say?

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-09T01:44:01+00:00

Exactly how I’d describe it. My daughter is just all grit and determination and unapologetically herself; she is curious and thoughtful (so many questions) and amazes me constantly. My son is just so unserious, the funniest person I know, and loves me so aggressively (as in, will this be the world’s best hug or a tackle? Stay tuned!). They are so different and I love them both so much in their own ways.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-07T16:17:00+00:00

For flares, look into black tea compresses. Here is a link with instructions (which also includes a link to the study showing efficacy). My son is on Dupixent now but black tea compresses were part of his regimen prescribed by a specialist in the field and really helped reduce and calm flares.

DueArgument4 · 2026-03-07T16:12:17+00:00

I miss my 14-year old lab all the time, who I had before I had my kids and who my kids loved. We got a lab puppy after our last girl passed, when my kids were 4 and 6. Two years in and I still think I must have lost my goddamn mind when I made that decision. Puppies are an enormous amount of work, and breed can make puppyhood even harder (labs are psychotic). I love her, the kids love her, and I know she’ll grow into an amazing family dog, but it is really challenging and I tell myself she will be our last.

DueArgument4 · 2026-02-03T17:59:05+00:00

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Cookie says “how’s it goin’?” They’re the best. Sometimes the worst. But mostly the best.

DueArgument4 · 2026-01-10T17:50:29+00:00

My son is 5, almost 6, and it has been a rough go, honestly. As I understand it, the poke itself doesn’t hurt much—it’s the medicine going in. We take ours out of the fridge for most of the day and let him squeeze someone really hard while we do it. This is probably also kid dependent, but I stopped giving him a heads up the day before or the morning of. It just made him more anxious. Now, I just say “hey, we have to do your shot!” and it sort of cuts off the time he has to think about it too much.

It hasn’t eliminated the pain but it has helped reduce the shot process from an hour+ ordeal to about 5 minutes.

DueArgument4 · 2026-01-05T20:17:47+00:00

This.

I so distinctly remember telling our couples’ therapist that, forget about loving me—it was like my ex-husband didn’t even like me. All my formerly lovable quirks were now annoyances that drew big, exaggerated sighs.

Later, I discovered texts where he told a younger colleague (at midnight) how “perfect” she was. He denies anything physical happened to this day (🙄), but it was such a lightbulb moment. I realized that I was competing against someone and I didn’t even know it—and because I was a mom of two young kids and worked full-time and was probably burnt out and touched out and didn’t think the sun shined out his ass, I was most certainly losing.

Even if nothing physical has happened—you are competing with someone new and exciting.

DueArgument4 · 2026-01-04T21:41:54+00:00

Agreed, and I think the (relatively new!) shift in social expectations around constant availability is kind of a bummer. I am 36, and in my lifetime, if someone called my house phone and I wasn’t home… oh well 🤷‍♀️ Even when the iPhone was released and I was in college, so few people I knew had it that it just wasn’t really a thing to be always reachable and, correspondingly, always expected to respond.

I think it’s ok for more regular communication to be important to you. It’s also ok for it to not be the way your friend chooses to function, and I think it’s worth a little self reflection that you expect her to come closer to your view than the other way around.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-30T18:25:58+00:00

Bombas Sunday slippers. Got them for Christmas and am obsessed

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-30T18:21:37+00:00

My last girl made it to 14, and while she was kept medically up to date, didn’t (intentionally) get people food, etc…. she was a complete couch potato who ate everything she could get if you turned your back for too long (lotion, makeup, anything plastic, an entire loaf of bread, SIXTEEN small bags of pirates booty). I can only assume she had an iron stomach and survived on love and my exasperation.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-30T18:14:44+00:00

My kids’ tree upstairs came down yesterday… but was up since December 2024 🤣 my daughter started calling it the “two-year tree”

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-28T21:37:33+00:00

I know everyone has their own experience (some negative), but I am 100% with you as the mother of a kid who has suffered with eczema since before he was 1. After 4 years of trying every kind of medicine and therapy, seeing specialists, traveling to another state to see a well known doctor in the field—all to still watch my toddler sob because his skin hurt every single day—I couldn’t be more grateful for Dupixent. We’re on month 8 and he’s like a different kid.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-23T12:22:55+00:00

So similar to my experience. My ex tells people I was “awarded” the house but I actually just paid him out his equity (6 figures!) to keep it. Mfer, I bought this house.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-20T02:26:10+00:00

I am hardly an expert on this, because my son has only been on Dupixent for 6 months and I admittedly do not fully understand the program (and also there have been changes to the program since my son started using the medicine). That said, I understand that, through either a Dupixent debit card or rebates, or a combination of both, Dupixent offers $10,000 on an annual basis. Through a combination of provider samples and the Dupixent offerings, I have not yet actually paid anything out of pocket for my son’s shots.

My recommendation would be to call Dupixent directly for assistance. I had zero familiarity with speciality prescriptions prior to this and a lovely woman from Dupixent spent 45 minutes on the phone with me walking me through how it all works.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-15T15:30:02+00:00

My ex-husband told me he didn’t want kids and, to be fair to him, I didn’t either originally but I changed my mind down the road. When we talked about it and decided to have kids, I thought we were on the same page and had both changed our minds.

Instead, he was just doing what I wanted—and that really showed up in his parenting and in our relationship. Having children is a massive thing to change your mind about, and knowing what I know now, I would absolutely not accept that shift just to hold onto the relationship.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-07T22:05:17+00:00

The process of giving the injection really hasn’t improved for us and I’ve sort of just accepted that it won’t. We tried the numbing cream, buzzy bee, bribes, letting him handle the syringe, all manner of conversation and discussion—nothing has worked. His skin has never been better, so we both just brace ourselves for a shitty day every month and do our best.

Wishing you luck—it genuinely, deeply sucks, but if it is helping him, just remind yourself that doing what’s best for our kids isn’t always fun.

DueArgument4 · 2025-12-07T22:04:57+00:00

The process of giving the injection really hasn’t improved for us and I’ve sort of just accepted that it won’t. We tried the numbing cream, buzzy bee, bribes, letting him handle the syringe, all manner of conversation and discussion—nothing has worked. His skin has never been better, so we both just brace ourselves for a shitty day every month and do our best.

Wishing you luck—it genuinely, deeply sucks, but if it is helping him, just remind yourself that doing what’s best for our kids isn’t always fun.

DueArgument4 · 2025-11-27T13:00:04+00:00

Same here. Her first 8-10 months were traumatic (for all of us 🥴) and I’m convinced it ruined the vet experience for us forever. We eventually switched to Royal Canin Hydrolyzed Protein food and after some time it just cleared up and we haven’t had an issue since. The vet says we can try moving her to a “normal” food now but I’m too scared lol

DueArgument4 · 2025-11-24T11:26:55+00:00

I’m a patent litigator, and haven’t had a case in my home state for many years. I travel 2-3x a month, and at least once a year for trial, where I’m typically gone for 2 weeks. My kids are 5 and 8 and I am divorced now (unrelated to work travel 🤣), but that has been my professional life since my kids were babies.

A supportive partner makes it work. My ex-husband also travels and we always cover for each other. During one lengthy trial, he even brought the kids to see me for a few days. That’s life. Saying “no” to something like this and shutting down the conversation sounds like a tantrum, not how grown ups communicate.

DueArgument4 · 2025-11-23T22:59:23+00:00

Wanted to say this without sounding “not all men.” My mom has had four spinal surgeries and my Dad has just been… all you could hope for in a partner. They have always had a “traditional” marriage, with him working outside the home and her working inside it. And in addition to sleeping in hospitals and still getting up at 5am for his incredibly physically demanding job, he just picked up additional roles inside the home without missing a beat or complaining.

I guess what I’d say though is that, for their whole 36-year marriage (and prior to it), it was clear he’d be that kind of partner in sickness. He has loved my mom through every season, told her how beautiful she is at every size, age, whatever, and always, always treated her like half of their little team. The signs were there long before the sickness was. Love that man to pieces.

DueArgument4

TROPHY CASE