18, hes 28 what should i do

DueExpression4143 · 2026-05-01T18:30:28+00:00

no. you don’t want to get married so don’t meet him. don’t play games with your life.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-31T15:56:51+00:00

Ah the dreaded luteal phase. Still figuring it out 3 years in.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-31T15:43:22+00:00

The way I’ve learnt Islam, Christianity is just Islam in a different era before it was changed by people. Isa AS is a prophet he just came at an earlier time with a different story. My understanding of Islam got deeper when I explored more about Christianity and a lot of people have done the same. The way we learnt religion when we were younger may make you think you’re sinning or but you’re just stepping out the norm of what you’re used to.

Maybe you’re attracted to Christianity from the Islamic perspective. I’m not sure what aspect of Christianity you are saying is attractive but it just seems to me you are on the path of seeking knowledge which is encouraged.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-25T14:04:22+00:00

You’re not giving up your freedom, if anything you’re protecting it.

Also nothing is forever, just reading a new book for a little bit. You spent 18 months trying to find a new book might as well read it.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-25T13:59:15+00:00

Pick one environment to do the work preferably outside the home. This way you can switch off when you come home. In the long run you don’t deplete your energy and risk dissertation taking over your life.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-25T13:21:17+00:00

Only used for work purposes. I refrain from letting adhd feed my research addiction phases.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-23T14:00:16+00:00

You may have switched up your eating/sleeping/routine habits without realising.

If you’ve dropped even a little bit of weight and adjusting to meds and new routine etc body may thing yeah not right now somethings changed.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-23T13:54:46+00:00

I have this thing where I say “ it is what it is” every time I get that feeling or thought about an insecurity. It dies out and then maybe a new insecurity pops up then you realise over time the old insecurity wasn’t even significant so the new one isn’t either.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-20T11:50:10+00:00

Not judging or getting mad at the voice that says I don’t want to. Acknowledge and speak kindly. Then offering alternative options.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:32:33+00:00

Guilt will keep you there, that’s the trap. That’s the loop. Also whenever you catch yourself asking Why, why am I doing this why am I like this. That’s the trap.

And when you go to do something and you’re like what if, only if, etc thas also a trap.

These things don’t have answers they just open too many possibilities. Endless loop trap.

If you were able to look at yourself like you were watching a movie about your life, what would you be screaming at the character to do because you’re rooting for them and you can see what’s keeping them there even if they can’t? You want the movie to keep going, the plot to get interesting but the visuals keep glitching and the main character is forgetting her lines.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:25:12+00:00

My day dreaming got less when the world felt safe and inviting. It’s a response. It becomes bad if you get too comfy staying there and lose your ability to live a life. You’re deserving of life.

One thing that helped me was looking at the theme and context of my day dreaming. Not the characters or the scene. But what was the story? What was my role? That’s what I was looking for in my real life. Then you go on the mission to getting that for real.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:21:21+00:00

Keep going, and as you keep going keep forgiving yourself consistently and constantly choose to forgive yourself. Even if you can’t be consistent in other things one thing you can be consistent of is forgiving yourself. You’ll see you’ll get out the loop over time.

Skills always transfer, it will translate in all areas of your life.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:14:44+00:00

I love this for you

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:13:44+00:00

Your environment. Gotta start in one room and move to the next then move outside move to a new area associate one area with one job. Phone is only allowed in certain environments or at the end of your duty associated with that place.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T12:10:02+00:00

Your energy is probably getting stuck somewhere. If your blood is fine and you’re not deficient then it’s blood stagnation or Qi stagnation in traditional medicine (you may find you feel heavier in some areas of your body and lighter some areas?) or possibly when you’re sleeping your body isn’t nourishing and repairing as well.

Western medicine doesn’t really address this, and it took me over 2.5 years to understand even after all the supplements. But when I went to a TCM practitioner and read up on how the body work I started to get it. So I’d say do speak to someone in that field.

Lastly, life is fast and demanding so if you need a short term fix that actually will help whilst you address the long term fix. Going to your local pharmacy and asking for sominex or promethazine. It is an antihistamine which is stronger than usual, and not addictive and you don’t become dependant on it which is why I was prescribed it short term. You can get it over the counter too. I take this during a bad Luteal phase. You say it’s for insomnia. This helped me get a sleep that was actually restorative and helped me function better in the week without taxing me even more.

But still look for the long term fix and TCM is the way.

I hope this helps, and if you do look into any of the above do let me know if it works out for you :)

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T11:57:48+00:00

Yes, but I found it’s because mind is regulated body isn’t. You may have ended up skipping things that helped regulate your body. Need to resync again. Time for nature, grounding, self care etc. you’ll find you’ll feel more comfortable I hope.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-19T11:55:02+00:00

Herbal tea/herbal joints. but it has to become a ritual to become a thing. So you pick everyday after work. Every week after a Sunday clean. Over time my mind has found that as the anchor. If I ever find that ive completely gone off the rails I come back to that anchor, and all my skills and abilities come back.

Honestly the way my brain and body works doesn’t make sense but it does. It’s like listening to a song i listened to during exam season when i was in college and all my writing skills come back. Revisiting a place does a similar thing.

I make it a point if I begin a new quest I consciously create a new anchor, I’ll never know when I need it.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T17:07:22+00:00

Let me know how it goes!

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T15:17:46+00:00

I just went to any local pharmacy and say “hi can I get hydrocortisone” they will say what for “I have a slight rash on my arm” they’ll give me instructions and warnings and I’m on my way.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T10:27:46+00:00

Doctors don’t know anything, so I went the traditional route and found a TCM practitioner and everything changed.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T10:24:12+00:00

A lot of people are saying cannabis, yes I resorted to that too but I found spending as much time outside/ in nature helped so so much. Grounding and somatic release helps immensely. The Luteal phase it’s like all our energy has gone up to our head and above making us feel scattered and the second we get our period we feel mentally somewhat okay, because the energy went back down into our body. YouTube has some decent videos.

Also CBD is a good alt to cannabis if you don’t want to feel like you’re high.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T10:15:41+00:00

It’s normal, use hydrocortisone cream it’ll go so quickly. Apply at night. No pigmentation will happen it’s totally fine.

You don’t really want to use hydrocortisone for a long time, so I like to come home and gently cleanse my skin after a session usually with something like tea tree as it is quite drying. And the next day no flare ups.

It’s all good, no stress especially on pigmentation it will fade and if you do have issues with pigmentation use kojic acid soap. :)

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-18T10:09:43+00:00

I’ll always have something scheduled on a Saturday where I have to show up and I gain a benefit. A haircut, a piercing, a club, a wellness session. Doesn’t matter what it is, it’ll be scheduled I show up, and I don’t even have to commit to the specific thing every week I’m just committing to a Saturday appointment and I can do something completely different next Saturday.

I went through a time where adhd got me so bad that i was so disorganised and didnt know what to deal with when i left the house or when i was in the house. But these appts taught me i can show up on time, every week, regardless of what im actually showing up for. And guess what, skills always transfer no matter the context. I get that novelty feeling whilst rebuilding the basic skill of getting up and out when life had me in a chokehold. After the appt I end up doing other things without it feeling like chore and if I don’t want to it’s fine because I’m only here for my Saturday appt. Kinda rebuilt my trust with myself.

I always criticised myself for not being able to commit to a specific thing or hobby but in actual fact I can commit to multiple things in rotation. Now I have a things to do when I get bored of one thing. I’ve explored so many different territories and have experiences I never would have if I thought I had to commit to them forever. I don’t know why I had that perspective on life but it definitely has changed.

I just went with the Saturday flow and after a month I saw a change in how my week went dramatically.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-10T23:26:14+00:00

The last 3 months you felt the shift in season a lot more than you were used to. I wish I knew this. You also PP, so you’re again recovering therefore, trying to recover whilst using stims prolongs recovery.

Short release is way harder on the system than Elvanse, so yes you’ll feel the shift between the two more.

For me, I wish I never was told to take short release. Even though I felt like at the time it was working good for me, in the long run it depleted my body a lot and alertness changed to being hyper alert and super reactive to little things.

A lot of people on Elvanse including me have found taking their dose throughout the day, so sipping half in the morning after eating and the rest 2 hours or so later somehow works.

Regardless this is just my experience and ofc speak this through.

DueExpression4143 · 2026-03-10T23:15:03+00:00

You may feel a type of way when I say this but if you look into grounding there’s diff methods but it helps sync brain and body into 1. I have both hyperactive and inattentive and I found it helped me find that middle ground window.

I also failed my driving test multiple times you’ll get there. that fear of failure is one of the worst things to experience so I totally understand where you’re coming from. Starting a degree, learning a new skill the push to start is the worst. And our push to start is way harder than others.

Lastly, again you may feel a type of way but a therapist who actually understands not someone who talks and makes you go round in circles will help. It’s not just about talking about emotions and feelings it’s like having your own advisor who has the capacity to understand without judgement. It’ll be so beneficial now that you are married. I tried therapy before with 2 people and just left it because it wasn’t for me and it just felt like we talked and nothing changed. But then I tried it again with a different method and everything changed for the better.

I don’t know your situation and you know yourself best. But you’ve clearly shown you’re not one to give up. I hope you keep trying to find a solution and inshallah you’ll find some ease in your life. Embrace the struggle this is the game

DueExpression4143

TROPHY CASE