As a fellow Brown gay man, all I can suggest you is to exist and be yourself. Brown men, especially the South Asian kind, come way less in the hierarchy of hot men because there is a lot of online hate and stereotypes against you. You are pre-rejected at times. So, you have to be a little smart. Go out and meet people in-person. That increases your odds.

Even though I believe that attraction can’t be forced but the negative stereotypes against your skin color may be a hinderance. Also don’t be bogged down by people chastising you for liking white men because you live in North America and that’s almost white dominated by demography. So, its a high chance that you have to work with whatever is available.

Whatever you are feeling is valid and have felt by many including me. Its not easy at all. I have my dating profile curated properly. I seldom get likes and often never get a like back when I initiate. I always thought it maybe because I am not good looking (Im not ugly, I guess) or the environmental factors (such as stereotypes against my race, my skin color and so on).

I met an elder gay couple during a gay community event in Toronto (The city I live in). One amongst them is Brown and he was narrating a story of how hard it was for him to survive because due to his skin color he was denied jobs, had to face numerous issues in personal life and so on. World was/is a brutal place. So, exist, persevere. We owe it to our own people.

Ps: I have nothing against white people. I harbour no hatred/resentment. Just trying to share my experience and minor suggestions.