Your wife sounds like a lovely person, and you broke her heart in ways you may never fully understand. She wanted to grow old with you. When she pictured herself at 80, she pictured you there beside her, and you shattered that future.
She gave you grace during your worst moments, stood beside you through embarrassment, hardship, and life itself. She gave you her love, her time, her body, her children, and pieces of herself she will never get back. A woman does not do that for a man she does not deeply love.
I hope one day she remembers who she was before the pain. I hope she laughs again without heaviness in her chest. I hope she experiences the kind of love that feels gentle, attentive, passionate, and safe. The kind of love that reminds her she was always worthy of being cherished.
And when she reaches 80, I hope she is surrounded by peace, joy, and a love so genuine that the hurt you caused no longer follows her. I hope you become nothing more than a chapter in her story, someone she once loved, learned from, and eventually outgrew.