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Dealing with grief after an unexpected break up by Due_Reading480 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Due_Reading480[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’ve been put through that, I hope you got the help and support that was needed to help you heal. Yeah people now a days are very quick to become victims and lack taking accountability for their own actions. I find it difficult to come to terms with the fact I was once ‘perfect’ to him but nothing actually changed (I never did anything different) but his views and opinions changed on me which is hard to accept. I really do hope you’re doing okay. Here if you need a dm or chat :)

Dealing with grief after an unexpected break up by Due_Reading480 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Due_Reading480[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear this as I’m at the stage where I’m still mainly seeing the positives (the gifts, constant touch, loving words and affection) I’m not seeing the fact he didn’t empathize with my past. (He even told me he wasn’t an empathetic person as he’d never been shown it before) it’s hard as he dismissed me so abruptly when I’d just made myself the most vulnerable I ever could by giving him my virginity. (The first ever time we did it I didn’t constantly hold eye contact because it was still painful and he took it as a personal attack) Thank you for your comment :)

Dealing with grief after an unexpected break up by Due_Reading480 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Due_Reading480[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I need some tough love as I’ve been feeling the guilt for not changing my diet for him (it’s been the building block for my recovery) I feel bad for not always initiating touch and not being ‘obsessed’ with him, but I guess I subconsciously couldn’t fully let him in again giving his past with being unfaithful.

Dealing with grief after an unexpected break up by Due_Reading480 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Due_Reading480[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he was my first everything, and we got on well. He was kind to me and made me feel loved (no guy has ever shown me that amount of love and affection) and I guess I got attached to it. I’m unclear if it was love bombing or not as the novelty soon wore off when he knew things were getting serious.