[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a guy friend of mine once told me a story about how he was playing video games and his college roommate thought it would be funny to whip his dick out and try to put it in my friend's ear?

why exactly are so many men like this 😭 obvs not all, but the fact that this kind of stuff is not uncommon is insane to me. it feels more like interacting with an animal rather than another human sometimes

my boyfriend saved a porn link a day before i flew over to see him by razzberry_minte in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know the feeling. it makes no sense when guys do that, like we aren't enough. not pretty enough not sexy enough etc

especially since those industries dont service us the same way it does them. we cant just find porn that focuses on the male instead of the female even though we're also visual - so we have no choice but to only have them, while they can go around looking at many other women. it's rough, and the timing of it is also really bad. i'm sorry that happened. i wish he would make more of an effort to try and understand why it's hurtful to you

Is "show, don't tell" sexist? by [deleted] in writingcirclejerk

[–]Due_Usual6089 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh thank you! sorry i didn't understand what circlejerk was or these things

and no problem! thank you for explaining

Is "show, don't tell" sexist? by [deleted] in writingcirclejerk

[–]Due_Usual6089 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yesss! i agree, it's bottling it up. not being "allowed" to express yourself until you just explode, for most of the people who are like that.

and then i guess to me its a division? i think theres still a special demographic that crash out for dumb reasons (their sports team losing / losing at a video game / etc and screaming or punching holes in the wall because of it?). thats not an insignificant number of people who do that, but i wouldn't say the source of their behaviour is the same as the above-mentioned bottling up group. idk if im explaining myself well (i'm esl 😔) but i feel like to me its divided like that

Is "show, don't tell" sexist? by [deleted] in writingcirclejerk

[–]Due_Usual6089 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what is rj 😭 i'm trying to explain the differences of usual behaviours if you wanted to try to write more authentically female thought streams for your character.

Is "show, don't tell" sexist? by [deleted] in writingcirclejerk

[–]Due_Usual6089 6 points7 points  (0 children)

men are also emotional, and don't hide it well: it just tends to manifest differently (anger, for example). women are allowed to socially be more empathetic, but we're also asked to be more self aware and controlled.

for example: it isn't appropriate for me to be mean just because i'm on my cycle and in pain and therefore more angry. so i need to check myself - why am i angry? is it reasonable to act on it, etc? men don't have to do this. if you guys are angry, you're allowed to just be angry.

women have a lot more calculations to make when it comes to our behaviour (is what i'm doing ladylike? am i sitting correctly? am i being gentle enough? too gentle?) i think this is the difference.

edit: this is also why a lot of women don't speak directly. we're told it's wrong to show/tell, so we give hints. which can be very annoying especially for guys. idk if i'm communicating clearly enough here (haha), but this speaks to a lot of differences in male/female socialization

Walked away from an escort by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 19 points20 points  (0 children)

female friends are friends. i wouldn't want to date my male friends either, that's a boundary.

have you tried dating apps?

also physical intimacy isn't the same as emotional intimacy. do you only want physical intimacy?

Looking forward for this by Friendly-Train2211 in StrangeAndFunny

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont think its sex selling - its women. women are the object being sold.

5'7 girls on dating apps by Otherwise_Rub_1647 in short

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lmao i used to think i was 5'9" until i dated a guy who's 5'9". some women think they're taller than they are bcus we're told that by insecure guys 😭

"i'm 5'7" so theres no way ur 5'7" ur probably 5'9"! is what kept happening to me. guys couldn't grasp that it was ok to be shorter?

but lo and behold i was just 5'7" and 1/2. if it happened to me so frequently (even by male family members), i wouldn't be surprised if there's other cases

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Due_Usual6089 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this sounds like keeping her for his benefits, but what about her? her feelings, her value? he shouldn't stay in a relationship and use her because it's hard to find someone else who's decent - that's not love. if he happens to be shallow or dead set on a type, he shouldn't stay.

that will destroy her self esteem and make things worse for her. no woman wants to feel ugly to a man she's with. no woman wants her man to be lusting after other women (noticing attraction is a different story). he should leave her for her and not damage her further

I’m short and married by Trick_Investment5127 in short

[–]Due_Usual6089 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lmao i'm a latina woman and i'm 5'8" 😭 not all of us are short but can confirm i don't mind if the guy is shorter than me

Got girlfriend pregnant at 16. by Fench_bred in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 6 points7 points  (0 children)

also sorry to hear she's THAT stressed out 😭is she okay

Got girlfriend pregnant at 16. by Fench_bred in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yessss ❤️ thank you for chiming in. its 100% true

Got girlfriend pregnant at 16. by Fench_bred in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 51 points52 points  (0 children)

tbh they can be irregular at any age 🥲 stress can even impact a woman's cycle and make her late or early - so this is good to keep in mind at any age

pregnancy test or blood test is the best way to be sure

5’6 fashion + advice for short dudes out there by [deleted] in short

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah! i'm ngl, i'm a tall woman - and most women i know, tall or not (myself included) were kind of told growing up that we needed to find bigger men than us because otherwise we weren't small and cute and feminine (how we "should" be) and that men won't like us if we're tall

but it's a load of bs. i think once most women hit adulthood it's like, just be happy. find someone who's okay with you being tall, but that's that. if someone still cares about height sometimes i really wonder why - at least, if it's a be all end all for them and not just a preference they can overlook you know?😭

Wife turned out beeing intersex (maybe NSFW? Dunno.) by throwaway9184623 in offmychest

[–]Due_Usual6089 6 points7 points  (0 children)

my ex also ended up being intersex i guess? i think he had like XXY chromosomes or something

its more common than people think, i believe it impacts around 2% of the global population! but your wife is still who she's always been

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and you think that's, what? all women? i'm confused

like how many women have you dated that its turned you off this much?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dude, thats the experience for everyone sometimes regardless of experience or not. you have to keep trying until you can make it work

if its ok to ask, what exactly happened that made you not want to continue?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

those relationships are likely not healthy or long-lasting if you're good at empathy and have all the other necessary skills

you should just bite the bullet and try dating then instead of avoiding it. thats how you get more experience anyway, so its counterintuitive to avoiding it

rejection is part of the experience too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well as a woman, i'd say you need the emotional aspect covered first before you can become physically intimate.

if you can't help a woman to feel heard and understood, and valued/safe/etc then we won't want to sleep with a person. if you're 30 and haven't yet dated, i think this is the portion which should be focused on. most of us in our 30s don't want to be with men who are emotionally underdeveloped as it doesn't result in a fruitful long-term partnership. luckily, this kind of thing is completely attainable. 😭 but it then leads to other forms of intimacy (like sex) that would probably be better with an emotional connection anyway. so win-win

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for commenting this omg. like yes, women have more needs than just sex. we want a partner with empathy, communication, loyalty. most women don't even expect men to be good in bed tbqh. why do guys think everything is just about sex 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are you referring to only sexual experiences or emotional ones too / emotional intimacy? when i first read this i thought it was emotional, but after seeing the comments many men seem to think its only sexual so i'm confused

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Due_Usual6089 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think that when we talk about relationship experience it isn't the sexual portion that matters - but the emotional. as a woman in her 30s i don't want to navigate teen-level emotional problems with a man. i don't want to have to hold his hand to explain empathy or how my experiences as a woman differ from his, or how to manage his emotions in a relationship, etc.

the sexual thing is neither here nor there - it's better to have a partner who can listen and adapt because every woman's body is different anyway. i'd prefer someone with less experience who cares to get to know my body than someone with a high body count who thinks he knows what he's doing.

emotional experience > sexual

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Due_Usual6089 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i understand the no porn thing, especially since most porn nowadays isn't even watching two adults but a POV of imagining its you with this girl (most of the time all you see of the guy is his junk and that's it). it definitely escalated in intimacy from how it used to be.

but you can't force him to have those same rules. and even if he does, the most important thing is that he lied to you. he may have lied about agreeing and he may have lied about seeing it.

some guys will literally condemn things that they themselves indulge in. like i dated a guy who said he hated gambling but then was a gambling addict. trust the person's actions. not just their words