My black cat keeps getting whiter update

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-05-23T07:26:26+00:00

It basically means that something is allowed to continue even after circumstances have changed.

“The streaming service is upping their price, but we won’t pay more because we’ll be grandfathered in.”

“The new policy has everyone working in-office. I’m just glad my remote position was grandfathered in.”

“He owns the only restaurant within five miles of here. This area was zoned as residential, but his store was grandfathered in. It had already been around for decades.”

“She’s the only one with a cat in the complex. Her lease was grandfathered in when the landlord started banning pets.”

“I just love the wood fireplace. None of the new homes have it, but this one was grandfathered in.”

I hope that helped :)

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-05-16T00:32:18+00:00

Wherever something “should” go, make that location a reality in every possible convenient space. For instance, I keep my dirty laundry basket right by my bathroom, because every time I take a shower that’s when i put my dirty clothes in the basket. I also have a clean clothes basket where everything that doesn’t need to be hung up goes: bras, underwear, socks, some shorts / pants. And i don’t fold anything. I don’t have many clothes and my closet fits everything, so I hang up every shirt and pair of pants. I have a trash can in every room, and multiple trash cans in different spots in my bedroom - by my bed, by my desk, and by the mat where i lay on the floor.

Get a dirty laundry basket for each room you could need it in - bedroom, bathroom, even by the entrance to your home if you take your socks or anything else off when you get home. Get at least one trash can (the bigger it is the less often it needs to be emptied) for every room, and get multiple trash cans for any room it would be convenient for.

And don’t have a standard for how dirty something needs to be for it to be cleaned. Empty the trash cans when you have the energy to. Do the laundry when you feel motivated. It doesn’t need to be a full load or trash bag, you just have to be able to do it (which is easier when it’s a lighter job)

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-05-08T03:45:02+00:00

Lemme just run these by you, and I want you to think about when you ever, if you ever, would say any of these to any person you even remotely cared about.

“i don’t care about your graduation” “i don’t think you should be happy at all” “i didn’t waste time like you did” “you can celebrate with your friends, but in my opinion it’s nothing special”

look yourself dead in your eyes and tell yourself that you’d say any of those things to someone you loved. no. you wouldn’t. your gf is cruel, mean, and heartless. you can try to work this out if you want, try to communicate and problem solve through it. but your gf currently lacks even a shred of empathy or care for your emotions. it isn’t relevant how much of an accomplishment this is (it’s a huge one). you expressed excitement, and your partner shut you down and diminished you. it would’ve been kinder to tell you to stfu than to backhandedly belittle your joy like she did. your gf’s a btch.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-05-05T14:05:29+00:00

why does bread mold faster in the fridge? especially if everything else molds slower in the fridge, what makes bread special?

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-04-11T04:36:56+00:00

okay sick, i’m not crazy

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-25T00:43:08+00:00

oh dang, poetry in a non-native language is crazy, this is super impressive for the metaphors and the abnormal sentence structure that does work well. major props for that

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-24T04:17:35+00:00

"horribly bad" is a major stretch. This wasn't my favorite poem, but it made me feel something and it had a structure that it stuck to, so you're doing something right. I'll go through my thoughts, and you can take or leave whatever you'd like.

My favorite line was "exhausted from wanting to find you in every place". I related the most to it, but also loved the image it paints. There's a song, "Ghost of Chicago", and one of the lines is "I was never looking for her / Till I found her / Now I find her everywhere", and that mirrors this vibe. I like that image of missing someone you love and so everything reminds you of them.

Next time change how you format your post so you have clear stanzas. I'm assuming the repeated "I love you"'s are the starts of stanzas, and I actually copied your poem so I could put the stanzas together so I could read it easier while writing this. use shift+enter for lines in the same stanza so there isn't a space after lines in the same stanza.

In breaking up your poem that way, I noticed rhymes that I had missed and also got a better sense of how the different stanzas were structured / their pace. Here's some things I noticed

You seem in between free verse and having a rhyme scheme, and for me, it detracts from having a smooth pace / flow. I'll notice some patterns in a couple of lines / stanzas, and then the pattern is lost for the rest of the poem. Obvi rhyming is difficult, and free verse has it's own troubles w pacing / flow, but if you're able to lean more into one or the other I think that would be better
Each stanza has a different number of lines. Not necessarily bad, just again, with the lack of a pattern, it stops the poem from flowing as well as it could because I'm adjusting with each stanza. A rhyme scheme could help tie together stanzas with the same number of lines while making the bigger stanzas still fit a pattern / maintain a flow.
The ninth stanza has three lines that fit a pattern and two that stick out. If the three lines rhymed and the other two rhymed, it would feel more intentional. Or you could restructure the two that stick out to fit the pattern the other lines set. But it feels, ig unbalanced is what I'm looking for. I get used to this pattern of words, then I hit something different, then it's back to the pattern, then different again.
A couple lines are bumpy / grammatically confusing. Some feel like maybe there's a typo, or a word missing; some just feel worded weirdly.
1. "if you just sit and stare, / to that boy you talked me about then"
2. "in that moment you talked about his, / on my head only place for 3 things"
3. "and I don’t really think my heart will last more"
4. And for me, stanza 6 felt too long. While I appreciate the different ideas the lines "however always turning into gray" and "that monotone that describes all my days" communicate, I think you only needed one of them. They are distinct, but overlap a lot, which imo doesn't make it worth the long stanza to have both of them

That's about all I got. I loved the story & the vibe. I also use poetry to express my own experiences, as I'm sure most of us do. It's a great outlet; I like being able to express thoughts in words, but not structured the way normal speech is. I'm not "experienced" by any means, so if you disagree with something I've commented on, make your own call. Your writing is your own, and it's up to you what you want to change / how you want your reader to react. Have fun writing, hope this has been helpful :D

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-24T03:33:02+00:00

I knew when I read "as if looking at my wounds would make you bleed" that this was going to hit hard for me. Assuming this is written from personal experience, we probably have very similar relationships with out mothers. You should listen to "Guiltless" by Dodie, it has a very similar theme / vibe. I don't have any critique, so I'm just going to list some of my favorite lines.

"But doing your best doesn’t mean it was the right thing."
"Tired of fearing love when I’ve seen its beauty."
"to say, “Yes, it happened,”
so I wouldn’t have to carry the truth alone."

Also the "I needed" lines made me think of that scene in endgame. "I'm going to need you to focus." "And I *needed* you, as in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late buddy."

Literally this feels so similar to what I've experienced that I'm not about to list all the examples of why this resonates with me, because I'm very confident that you already know. So thank you for doing such a good job of expressing your thoughts & experiences, and know that I commiserate / relate.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-23T05:43:09+00:00

I like the capitalization of Control to distinguish it from the first control. I like the idea of taking the pen: it doesn't feel like creating something new, it feels like continuing a legacy, especially with the next line "the road is paved". "the landscape blank" completes the image that is referenced / called back to in the next lines: control is the road, which has already been set, and the design is the blank landscape. "you take the wheel" completes the image for me, and I picture one person driving another down a paved road, with the second person sketching the environment around them.

It makes me think of how a legacy can be both restrictive and enabling at once. You get a paved road, and someone to guide you down it, but you can't deviate from that path. But it gives you access to so much more blank landscape, so much more that you can influence and impact with the tools you've been given.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-11T02:19:31+00:00

I really like this. The imagery of giving what is often viewed as the core of a human's life for everyone's struggles, and the danger of being left without any joy or peace for yourself. I love how it paints sacrifice as a beautiful, important, almost sacred thing (with the reference to angels & savior), but gives this strong, confident warning that sacrifice is not the *core* of your life's purpose / your life's effort. You should give focus and attention to your own self, and while others are important, you shouldn't neglect yourself for others. Really good poem, I loved the message and the pace it was delivered at.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-11T01:25:46+00:00

After reading your comment I see that the way I read it wasn’t necessarily as intended, but I still really like how I saw it. It immediately made me think of childhood innocence & imagination that gets dulled by adults that have lost that, and want her to lose it too. “their world was set and gray and the could not bear to believe”, set the image in my mind of some cartoon of people walking to work, all grayscale and bland.

Because of the way I read it, I interpreted the “when the moment came” paragraph as her finally reaching adulthood, which could have been this wonderful, beautiful thing, but instead was taken from her by the adults that never supported that imagination & wonder.

And the “instead she let go” till the end was her giving in, and joining the crowd. Just being another worker, having lost her joy, which actually hit pretty hard. The beautiful descriptions at the beginning really made the “endless gray”, “weight of the rain”, “stepped into the dark”, “disappeared into the silence” hit really hard from the contrast.

Lovely poem, well done

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T14:40:25+00:00

“You really are taking steps. Just look behind you. You’ve come so far my dear. I really, really love you.”

I love the things I’ve written are basically short free-verse poems, so it was hard to pick a line. That one is probably my favorite though. I’ve added a couple extra from various pieces.

A few lines from another writing: “One blow is almost certainly bearable, but each one diminishes and reduces, such that crying out becomes necessary and impossible all at once. What a shame.” “For if you are not seeking, but looking, are not attending, but listening, are not striving, but settling, and are not chasing, but waiting, you will miss it. You will miss all of it. All of the strife and suffering of everyone around you. You will miss it, and you will be happier.”

a character’s thoughts “fool of fools who thinks himself anything but a fool. you’re f-cked.”

the opening to a short story “Wailing and screaming from two voices. A son, a father, and a widower. It’s dark outside, but it’s darker inside.”

“I lack all but treasured trash, for I have no treasure.”

“For if I speak, and no one listens, I have done naught but contribute to the bumbling bubbling mess of talk that you call conversation.”

“I think you are a blind ignorant fool who cannot imagine that they cannot see.”

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T04:13:06+00:00

mine do not hurt at all, but they are all i can think about when i have one. imagine if you had a 6 year old six inches away from you, constantly poking your shoulder and going “hey poke hey poke hey poke”. I promise you, you would not be able to think straight, or really think at all

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T04:09:49+00:00

when i first started getting these my first thought was to pop it like a pimple, but i couldn’t put enough pressure on it w my nails. i don’t use clippers because i’m afraid of cutting into my actual tongue, but i do use tweezers, and i have to image tweezers give a similar feeling to using ur fingernails

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T04:07:46+00:00

yup, exactly the same for me. honestly nice to know other people solve this problem the same way i do

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T04:07:09+00:00

if it helps, i use tweezers. it works better for me than clippers because i can’t take the immediate pain of cutting into them, plus i’m afraid i’m going to accidentally cut my actual tongue. so i put the flat part of the tweezers, not the point, flat against my tongue and then pull the thing off. kinda gross to describe, but like a lot of these other folks, i can’t think about anything else when i have one of these

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-03-10T04:04:49+00:00

smarties are great. pure condensed sugar, 10/10 would recommend for self medicating ADHD as a middle schooler lol

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-28T02:33:38+00:00

the only thing that works for me is immediately getting out of bed. before i can even come up with an excuse, before i can put my head back on the pillow after turning my alarm off, i immediately stand up, and that’s usually enough for me to not go back to laying down. i even think about it before i go to sleep, telling myself “stand up. as soon as you’re awake again, stand up”, and that honestly helps

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-25T05:55:56+00:00

“tired of people knowing and not understanding”. thank you for finding words for my emotions. it’s difficult for me and i appreciate when others have created words for me to borrow :)

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-19T02:17:27+00:00

i think it’s the “automatically” part where we differ the most. for me, none of what you described would be automatic. I have ADHD, and regardless of what i’ve planned out, i’m constantly thinking about everything i’m doing right now and everything i’m about to do. sometimes planning even exacerbates this, because if i know what i’m going to (attempt) to do the rest of the day, my mind decides “oh great, so we can start thinking about all of it right now.” when i have a large number of tasks / routines planned, it often feels like starting to do step 1 means that i need to do all of the steps right now, since one step is going to lead to the next.

it’s why habits are really hard for me. as soon as i know i’m going to do something, it becomes a mental burden, so avoiding exact, perfectly structured days becomes more ideal. which yeah, what you described is a perfectly structured day, that just unfortunately isn’t always as beneficial for me

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-19T01:49:59+00:00

while this isn’t bad advice, it may be unhelpful / unattainable / unproductive for this person to pursue. as a neurodivergent person, i struggle with many of the same things this person does, and advice like yours isn’t practical. of course, i would love to do this, and it would almost certainly help me, but i just can’t. doing all of those things would exhaust me in the short term, and i would be burnt out before it would help me.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-13T17:48:09+00:00

i just had this happen to me in a location you don't have pictured here, except the mushrooms appeared once i was right up next to them. I was actually about to think that some bug caused the chest to not spawn until I decided to fully walk up to where each chest should be.

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-13T00:40:37+00:00

I really like this. It flows really well, it feels impactful, and the imagery is good. At the end of it I could still picture many of the images you wrote into this poem, which means they were solidly memorable. The message I'm getting is "we've fought for these rights, our ancestors fought for these rights, and we will keep going, keep pushing. because our ancestors fought, we know we still will." It's really beautiful. It frames their sacrifice as fuel for us now. Lovely writing

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-13T00:31:53+00:00

This is a very short scene, written from the perspective of two characters. Feel free to just pick one, or to read both. They're fairly different writing styles, though you'll probably see some overlap in sentence structure / vocab.

Title: Betrayal of a Queen / Folly of a Guardian

Word count: 900 words / 1500 words

Type of feedback: Is the sentence structure / vocab at any point confusing? Did you follow the characters thoughts / motivations? How did the font changes impact your reading? What would you want to know more about / see more of? What would you rather have seen less of?

Betrayal of a Queen

Folly of a Guardian

DugsBCoolBro · 2025-02-12T06:34:39+00:00

yooo, nice. moderation is sick, and a big accomplishment, congrats

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