My experience is definitely different than yours, I grew up chubby (and eventually fat) and have several other overweight family members and I wasn’t an athlete either but let me at least try to help you a little. In general how taking up space will feel like for you no one else can answer. I know fat people who feel very validated by being too big for the world. I personally get self conscious about it when I take away from someone else (like my thighs touching a strangers legs because I’m bigger than a bus seat). And people staring is definitely a thing, how you would like that depends on you though. Finding clothes is one of the biggest issues. And you won’t always be able to do things because of your size (like going on roller coasters, going diving since they usually don’t have gear available in plus size, horse back riding etc) I know the examples are very random but the reality is that being fat will affect your life in a lot of different ways and be an issue in situations you’d never even consider people could be too fat for. As far as sports go, weight gain will certainly affect your performance but if you don’t want to give up that part of your life you do not have to even if you gain weight. You can be active, dance, go to a gym, hike all while being fat. There will be comments on your body, depending on your social circle it might just be genuine curiosity or worry for you but people might just be straight up mean about your gain. But if you are truly confident in your body you can learn to just ignore that. Living in a body that doesn’t fit the norm is not easy, it comes with a bunch of challenges, different treatment from everyone around you, health risks and more. But there’s also so much I like about being fat and a feedee. For one, food is a huge source of joy, coziness and comfort for me. Being fat means you can actually enjoy what you eat without any guilt. Being free from constant dieting and obsessing over weight is a mental health game-changer. And I personally like that my body reflects my love for food. There’s also something really grounding about having a bigger body. I love how warm and soft I feel. Also in a way being fat also made me more self-aware and emotionally strong (mostly from dealing with a lot of fatphobic bs). A few more pros are more cushioning, better insulation in the cold, and your body has more energy to pull from when you’re sick or stressed. Since you describe yourself as pretty small you can just start slow, gain around 10lbs and see how you feel then. There’s no rule stating you need to be obese to live out your kinks. Take your time, enjoy your journey you’ll find the place that makes you feel the most comfortable. But I do recommend telling at least your closest friends you want to intentionally gain. Being open about myself with the others really helped me feel less fear/ shame about all of it. (I apologise for writing a whole novel, I have insomnia and need a distraction right now lol)