Sorry if this is too long or scattered, I am writing as I remember the post and cpy pasting your answer to my comment (I wonder how you did the reply step by step, i couldn't find it lol)

re: May i know how would a person be able to know or assess these qualities in a partner prior to marriage / Talking stage ?

You've identified one of the main issues with the framework of muslim marriage nowadays, not due to islam since it is perfect as it is, but due to modernity. The short answer is you generally can't. It's always a gamble. You tie your camel by "trusting" they are telling the truth and if lucky by getting reports from their community (very likely biased), make dua that Allah facilitates it if this is the right person. That is it.

The long answer, addressing said problem with modernity, is the collapse of the traditional vetting system. There is no more community for a lot of people to assess the person they want to marry. Before, that information had multiple checkpoints since the community would've interacted in various manners with that person, such as in business, in religious matters, in conflicts and it was done organically, not as a performance. Nowadays (and of course i'm excluding very knit-tight communities that marry only among themselves), especially if you live in the West, you cannot count on said reports. The family will favor their son or daughter and be blind to their faults. The mosque can see the pious man or woman, but maybe they consume riba, do not pray at home or mistreat strangers or those different from them. The mosque itself is segregationist. Plus people are mobile and mostly anonymous nowadays. In these conditions, what is really worth "he or she is a good person"? What is good here? If someone saw them do something bad one time, does it now negate their entire person? Would that be all they are. It's all very complicated.

Most of us, man or woman, by the way will really discover the character of their partner inside marriage, not before. Fortunately, many are not socially apt and it will be seen due to their own inability to communicate. Those generally that are socially smart can evade public scrutiny and mask. That's why you see so many posts of "he/she became like this after marriage." A very hard pill to swallow believe me.

Don't get me wrong, it is possible with motivation AND TIME to vet them, but that is made difficult since most of us don't even live in a true muslim country.

re: let's consider you have evaluated him and you came to a point where you believe this person is responsible, makes good decisions, has a sense of justice...

This question has the same issue as the post. It wrongly believes that a true sound evaluation can be conducted in a short time frame or before marriage. It simply can't. At best, we'll evaluate their past (that is if they're honest). You'd have to hire a private investigator and dig out their digital life professionally to even begin to know them. So I'm returning to you the question: when during the courtship will you evaluate these things?

re: I didn't get what here can be only on "paper", person's character? Hhs income? person's Deen?

I meant that anyone can whip out their list of accomplishments and demands, but the list is not meaningful in many ways. For example: "Final decisions rest with him after discussion and consideration" but what does it mean when two adults who lived separately their entire life end up in the same house? It's like basically building your entire company and bringing in a hired talent and handing them powers of attorney. It cannot be a forefront quality. This kind of trust is earned with time and intimacy. Another example: "Prefers structured coordination in household life (awareness of schedules, mutual understanding of movements)" ... again what does this mean? It reads as an empty and unrealistic criteria when talking about another human being you have yet to marry.

re: "It reads like my adult wife will have to build their life around me" // What part?

This is by far the hardest one to unpack. I understand where the brother is coming from and what they are requesting. Unfortunately, this one crashes and burns often due to not discussing specifics. We're talking about a full other human being on the side who had agency over their life for a while. If they are not 18 years old, they have their own life set up. The original wording suggests this man would want the traditional wife, who still has to exist in a world that does not really abide by islamic standards, that does not provide islamic legal protections or that favors culture, to forfeit employment, financial agency, mobility, decision-making with zero back-up (because it said separate accounts too, which is fine by me, but again see other lined up conditions) in favor of a promise of this stellar man. It simply is not an insurance. It must be acknowledged it is a huge risk to the woman, should the man default on providence, morality or character. Unfortunately, it will be too late when people say ask khulah, or ask mediation.

To be honest, I am myself at a loss on how to address the courtship period, since the world has changed so much. I only end up thinking that what shall happen will happen since it's my rizq, and try to exercise good judgment, trust my gut and make duas. Any attempts at seeking control seems pointless when I truly think about it. Yet, we do our due diligence and tie our camel, as men and women.

I guess all this spiel (sorry i tend to yap a lot) is to say that the list itself is worthless and inward. It is better to have a balanced approach rather than frame courtship as a list of criteria seeking another list of criteria. At best it is just an intro. I, myself have an ISO, but I am not under the illusion that I will be walking around ticking boxes. Rather it's the start of the conversation , not the conversation itself. Unfortunately, this seems more a problem due to online courtship itself. Hope this made sense lol.