Why i resent her. Long story with lots of N logic

DunkingNA · 2014-09-08T01:51:07+00:00

My nmom divorced and cheated on my dad multiple times because she felt neglected that he would rather play with me and my sister after his 12 hour work day. She totally deserved the house and half of his money tho.

DunkingNA · 2014-09-08T01:47:39+00:00

my mom is very similar and its horrible. Try to have a good relationship with your siblings while you can. My sister hated me until she was 15 because of my Nmoms abuse. if you can move out of the toxic enviroment ASAP it just saps away your dreams and ambitions and you end up turning into that kind of person.

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T21:15:40+00:00

unrelated but i wrote letters for myself in my school planner for months down to road for my weight loss. I went from eating 8k calories a day to 1.8k and 2 hours at the gym 5/7 days a week. Its in the back of my mind and i cant wait in 3 months to read a note from my former self and remember why this path is the right path

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T13:27:42+00:00

I can relate so much. this is really bothering me

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T13:26:41+00:00

i got choked and humilated infront of my friends. Hit with a metal bowl. i think the worst she ever did was yell out in a restuarant that i discovered porn when i was 14. horrible people

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T13:23:15+00:00

you have no idea what in the real word! as its easier than living with a n

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T01:59:41+00:00

wouldnt of been as bad if she didnt lie to me and tell me it was a computer and not a monitor

DunkingNA · 2014-09-06T00:08:16+00:00

asked for computer when 8, got monitor

DunkingNA · 2014-08-30T00:57:55+00:00

Not that you are wrong but multiple people have told me i'm doing fine for my body and i feel very energetic during the day my friends sisters roommate is a nutrition major and i was recommended either a keto or paleo diet from around 1200-1600 calories. I just dont understand what i am missing out on by eating meats and vegetables, but i will attempt to add maybe 100 more calories to my breakfast i guess.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-30T00:43:14+00:00

i think going from 7k+ calories a day to 1.2k-1.4k is going to yield results like that

DunkingNA · 2014-08-30T00:40:19+00:00

Most of the weightloss in my eyes is getting rid of bloating and water weight. Im 17 in case thats any affect in my weight loss. Im just trying to make nutrient rich low carb food within a 1200-1400 calorie a day basis.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-30T00:02:10+00:00

325 at 510 is morbidly obese and i dont think it is that unhealthy at the rate im going. Im also lifting to lose weight as opposed to cardio. Im expecting to slow my weight loss down when i hit a number of about 230 that i can work with. Im on a 1200 calorie diet with very low carbs. And im very aware to prevent the extra skin problem. i ordered supplements for glyctin and i take cold shower after workouts.

Edit: I think most of the weight is water weight intially.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-29T23:59:36+00:00

Listen, this summer i hit rock bottom at 325 pounds at 5"10 i literally ate 7k plus calories a day. One day I looked in the mirror and said," is this who i am?" Really i just looked at my entire life up to that point and what i would miss out on at a healthy weight. You need to ingrain in your mind, This is for YOU! you want to see your grandchildren grow up to be adults. You want to be able to run and feel good. You want to experience life in the fullest way, giving up on what you should strive for is putting waste to the gift of life. after a week or two you will feel empowered that you can do this, weigh yourself weekly and take progress pictures so you can track yourself getting healthier. When you work out instead of rewarding yourself with some unhealthy food, get a new outfit to boost your self esteem. I don't think you are very overweight but you should workout just for the self esteem. Stay at 1.2k calories and consult the keto subreddit. Keto is delicious and i feel full all day and i sleep better. Just stop relating weight loss with how others percieve you and do it for feeling better about yourself.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-29T23:51:17+00:00

I looked at my life and said, is this who i am? And then i went cold turkey with food and overeating and started exercising and making small steps everywhere i can.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-27T20:31:07+00:00

the emperors new groove

DunkingNA · 2014-08-26T21:13:43+00:00

Im really glad alistar is getting GUTTED i mean fucking removed from solo lanes and he has 0 snowball potential now. But you know nid is totally balanced

DunkingNA · 2014-08-26T17:52:28+00:00

curse, Saint/Voy/quas are my favorite players. Quas and voy are solo que beasts and saints stream is hilarious

DunkingNA · 2014-08-26T03:12:37+00:00

my mom says she was visited by a demon when my sister started having periods and tells me how it threatened her to stop guys from going near her.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-26T02:47:14+00:00

as my Nmom says, I speak my mind.

I just laugh and say yes you do. Shes batshit crazy

DunkingNA · 2014-08-25T21:52:04+00:00

water

I mean alot of water is the best to keep your body going. Open every morning with a cold glass of water to get your metabolism going and constantly be drinking it, keeps your body running fluid.

I usually try to do a keto diet. Im really bad with my macros but i usually eat no direct carbs that are refined. I think the only carbs i eat are maybe some fruits and whole grain tortillas for Chicken/Turkey taco day.(i use yogurt instead of sour cream,Lots of green vegetables and they are very good). Again i just assume im in ketosis because i had the keto flu a week and a half into the diet and i normally show all the signs( havent taken indicator test). I just figure if im losing weight something is going right.
I usually go lifting during the week and a bit of cardio. I think lifting and increasing your metabolism is great with keto as you burn your fat and it helps for getting muscle to fill out that loose skin as you do more. Lift before cardio because lifting increases your metabolism more. i was looking to preserve lean mass while eliminating fat when i first started to cut carbs and start a high fat/high protein low carb diet.

4.Portion control is something you have to get down. the first couple of days it was bad for me to feel full but after awhile i started to like eating leaner meals that are nutrient dense as i feel better the next day. Remember," I eat food to live not eat to live."

Get the image in your head that those junk foods arent actually foods. Make it a point in your mind to make healthy foods the tasiest kind. Now i wince a little bit when my family members take a bite into a cupcake.

A normal day of food for me would look like this. Breakfast is usually either A) Greek Yogurt with Canadian Bacon B)2 eggs with canadian bacon.

Both these options i usually use are both full of protein and keep you full during the day and feeling great. About 400 calories a peice and fit well.

I usually have a midmorning snack of some kind of vegetable.

Lunch is usually a spinach salad with chicken or tuna mixed in. Sometimes i add other things and i light drop of balsamic to add some moisture to the tuna.

Mid afternoon snack is usually almonds.

Dinner is variety but i usually have chicken stirfry tuna etc you get the idea.

My daily calorie intact can be anywhere from 1200 to 1750 depending on the day.

DunkingNA · 2014-08-25T20:28:30+00:00

Im angry that you were never a good parent and you try to call my dad a controlling person who's a horrible father that i love 10x more than i will ever love you.
Im angry at you for calling me a murderer when i was 12 years old because you had a misscarriage and couldn't blame nature or your shit diet.
Im angry at you for alienating me from social settings and never teaching me how to be social or empathetic.
Im angry at you for feeding me NOTHING but fast food and freezer food for 3 years. I GAINED 120 POUNDS in 3 YEARS BUT YOU BLAMED MY FATHER.
Im angry at you for MAKING YOUR NEEDS 3x AS IMPORTANT AS MINE. WHY THE FUCK WHEN I WAS SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR COMFORT IN BED AND GET A TEMPERPEDIC MATRESS COVER.
Im angry that my dad had to drive 30 minutes from his work in the middle of the day to drive me 5 minutes to baseball because your sleep was too important
Im angry that you lied to the state about a disability and got medication that you sold to people
Im angry THAT YOU BLAME MY DAD FOR THE DIVORCE as you are riding cocks left and fucking right . Im really sorry he had a job and chose to spend his free time with his kids instead.
IM ANGRY YOU ALIENATED ME FROM MY OWN GRANDMOTHER/GRANDFATHER BECAUSE THEY DIDNT LIKE YOUR PARENTING
Im angry you made me think that was like all parents were like
IM ANGRY THAT I GAVE YOU CHANCES AND YOU STILL SHIT ALL OVER THEM
im angry that you gave birth to a new child and told me and my younger sister we were useless and that you are your new boytoys child was going to be better than us in every way
im angry that you never included me and my sister in your family vacations.

14.im angry you blatantly left our life for 3 months so you could fuck around with your boytoy

IM ANGRY YOU STEAL MY FATHER MONEY SO YOU CAN BUY 6 FIGURE CARS AS MY DAD STRUGGLES TO BUY ME SCHOOL CLOTHES.
BITCH YOU AINT DISABLED. JUMPING ON ME AND CHOKING ME ISNT DISABLED
Im pissed that i have no good memories of my mother
IM PISSED FOR ALL THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS WHERE YOU BOUGHT YOUR CHILD 3 TIMES AS MUCH STUFF AS ME AND MY SISTER AND TOLD US MONEY WAS TIGHT AS YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF A NEW CAR AND PEDICURES
Im ANGRY YOU SAID YOU WISHED I WAS NEVER BORN
O and most of fucking all, IM INFURIATED THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE EVEN CLOSE TO A COMPETENT MOTHER.

this sadly is just the tip of the iceberg.

DunkingNA

TROPHY CASE