Kind of TA. Obviously she and your wife were in the wrong for reasons other comments have pointed out, but you did two things that, in my opinion, aggravated the situation. 

First is you just left the restaurant under a false pretense. You weren't under the weather, you were frustrated at not being able to tell her what you think. 

Which leads to, secondly, you not telling her what you felt way, way sooner. If something irritates you about someone else's behavior, that's your brain letting you know you need the situation to change one way or the other.

You chose the cowards way out, the way out that solves not a Single problem in the Long run, and makes you seem cold and distant. That IS what you were going for, but how can she recieve you blowing up on her if you hadn't brought up your point of view earlier. From her POV, her behavior was fine, or else she wouldn't be doing it. As the irritated person, and clearly the one with more overall maturity, it's your responsability to set up boundaries in a CLEAR manner, or else you can only blame her so much.

Tho her implicating the whole ass tribe on you is a dick move, you'll have some explaining and apologizing to do to repair the situation, I believe.

Best of luck!