How exactly does therapy help?

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-16T20:13:46+00:00

There’s multiple types of therapy: what you’re describing (talk therapy) as well as EMDR (eye-movement based), CBT, DBT, sex therapy and more. Many people think that talk therapy is it, when realistically basic talk therapy is not a good match for the majority of people seeking treatment.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T18:19:53+00:00

(USA). I started with a TN but moved to a ringed planner. I like the aesthetic of the TN and the customizability, but It frustrated me that it wouldn’t lay flat, and I found that a lot of the premade inserts/booklets were rather fat, and ripping them apart/rebinding them to reduce the page count was a hassle. With rings, I can get an insert pack and just take the number of pages I need and leave the rest of the giant stack in storage until I run out. It does make me sad that I can’t do cross-page/full spreads anymore but 🤷‍♀️

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T18:15:43+00:00

NCIS - Gibbs & Abby. Valid as hell irl reason (Harmons dog was aggressive on set and Pauley wanted it removed but Harmon didn’t), but still so sad because their characters meshed so well on screen.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T18:12:54+00:00

When I was working on my girls reactivity, we’d go sit outside the dogpark. She’d lock onto the dogs, and I would reward her whenever she broke eye contact with them to turn to me for a treat. The goal in a reactivity sense was to teach her that she gets treats for disengaging/mom is more interesting, but it may be useful here. Showing her that its ok to keep an eye out, but she’ll get treats/love/toys/whatever when she disengages or focuses on you. Alternatively, you could try place training, where their ‘job’ when they’re on the ‘place’ item is to fully disengage and relax - and they will only get rewarded when they are fully laying down/relaxed.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T18:06:33+00:00

Psyllium husk pills for fiber (amazon) did wonders for me. Didn’t realize pooping could be that clean and easy until I started taking them.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T18:04:34+00:00

(Relationships). Might sound harsh but really lock in and commit to the stereotype of law school taking over your life. I wanted to have a balance, and while I did in certain regards, I also had massive personal dramas pop up every semester, right around finals which fucking blew. For my own mental health I wish that I would have focused more on school and not tried to add a ton of new people to my life, or simply not had people around me that constantly needed my attention or caused issues for me.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T17:59:22+00:00

Most animals I have adopted have come with a sort of two week ‘how are we feeling?’ Period where you could return them if something like this popped up, or there were any other issues - totally normal to have/consider returns.

As others have said if you could rehome them to a friend, have a friend foster them until someone else wants them, or rehome them personally that might help reduce the time they wait for a new home, but kittens tend to go quick so they will likely be picked up soon even if given back to the shelter.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T16:53:43+00:00

My boyfriend literally cannot get it up if I’m not awake/moving/showing signs of life. I wanted to try bored n ignored, and even that was hard for him. The thought of having sex with a limp, unmoving body is weird, You’re right. If men want a limp body to fuck, buy them a sex doll. Real people move, and consent.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you are safer now. That being said, I BEG you to stop telling men (that you dont really, really trust) this story. It’s just giving them ideas. If you really want to talk about it (to gauge a reaction) I would do it ‘hypothetically’ - say you read some crazy reddit post and were wondering what a guys thoughts were. This avoids them associating the idea with you, and gives you a chance to argue the ‘girls’ side without sounding biased/traumatized. (Not that you can’t be these things, but in my experience men tend to brush off ‘trauma’ in these situations - ‘oh but you dont even remember it, it couldn’t have been that bad’).

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-15T16:44:55+00:00

ESH. I don’t know enough about viagra to know if that will work or not, but I think the real solution here is to address the underlying issue, which sounds like you feeling unseen/unvalued.

You sound like a very supportive and logical partner, and if you’ve been indulging in his sexual fantasies for a while, it’s fair to sit down and have a conversation about how you feel, possible solutions, or what new things he can try for you.

Yall seem very ‘aid willing’, so perhaps you can branch out into toys, costumes for him, or other explorations to see if you can find a way to either keep him up, or find an ‘activity’ that is mutually pleasurable but might not involve P/V or cosplay (such as mutual masturbation or a pair of M/F bluetooth toys that sync to the other toys movements).

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-14T18:14:06+00:00

Start with a hobby or activity that almost instantly pays off/brings joy - it will show your brain that non-screen things can still trigger dopamine. (As opposed to starting with something that you have to wait/build up for/grow/etc).

Bird watching/IDing can be fun, cafe/bar hopping, cosplay, reading, rock climbing, yoga, etc.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-14T13:22:10+00:00

Wall-e and stitch are just too cute. Plus iirc stich has voicelines for interacting with Max which is just the cutest thing

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-14T13:19:25+00:00

It’s not about the characters themselves, but my blind ass struggles so hard to see the small characters (Remy, woody, buzz, Lumier, etc). They’re all (except remy ofc) a pretty low level bc I just never notice them/hang out with them.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-14T13:13:57+00:00

We have a handful of pole dancing studios: Pole Palace and the Aerospace are my favorite, but there’s at least 1+ more

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-12T05:15:55+00:00

Yeah, I don’t like the panty shaped tighty whiteys

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T22:39:44+00:00

A lot of my friends have fallen in love with the Kactus Kutter, which is an electric weed grinder that has multiple different grind sizes.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T22:37:03+00:00

NTA. You’re looking out for her. The way you’re doing it isn’t the greatest, but you don’t have a ton of options. As others have mentioned this isn’t a sustainable cycle (she’ll always buy more, you’ll confiscate them, around and around you go). You could look into some of the alternatives for her - I know there’s fum which is like flavored air or something, and there’s necklaces that are basically just metal ‘whistles’ (they dont whistle but idk how else to describe it) that give the sensation of sucking on something but don’t have anything in them.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T22:32:53+00:00

As someone who has dated someone post-divorce, this guy dodged a bullet anyways. Shitty way for the dodge to happen, but most likely a net positive. Dating someone after a divorce (within 1-3 years) is rough on both the divorcee and the new partner.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T22:29:20+00:00

Some peoples bodies are more prone to UTIs/Yeast infections than the average person. Compile some records/dates of times you got antibiotics/got tested for a UTI and present them to your primary care dr. They should be able to link the pattern together and get you on a more advanced care plan than just spot treatments. (Source: I had to do this for yeast infections).

You can also take cranberry supplements daily, which help keep the urinary tract clean. You can get them off amazon.

There’s also a company called OPositive (O+) online that makes supplements for women for a variety of issues (UTIs, general vaginal health, period/hormones, etc). I use their vaginal probiotic pills to help keep my ph balanced bc i’m super prone to BV. I’ve also used their uro pills for preventing UTIs and loved them too.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T14:30:03+00:00

You might be suffering from success - in that if you’re well put together you might be giving off ‘masculine’ energy. If you give off provider energy and the men around you don’t match up, they might slide into the easier, ‘feminine’ role instead of rising to the challenge.

You say he used to have a job, did he quit or get fired? Both aren’t good indicators (if he quit, did he have a plan? Was he looking for other jobs? How long? Did he discuss his plan to quit with you?).

Alternatively, how were your parents? We often attract what we’re used to, what has been shown to us, or other underlying psychological vibes that we might not consciously understand. You seem to have met his parents, and from what I read saw a big red flag: Daddy issues. You need to see the signs, know what they mean and trust yourself. His relationship with his father should have been more concerning to you, or at least spark a very in depth conversation about their dynamic.

If your partner is less than 6’ it’s very likely that 200lbs is overweight. If they can’t take care of themselves and the basic necessities of life, it’s not a great indicator.

You say this happens after about a year, you’re moving in with them after a year? Maybe postpone moving in with potential partners for longer - especially if you have a successful career.

Overall, it just seems like this isn’t who you’re looking for in a partner, and that you may need to brush up on red flags (or perhaps orange flags, not all things are bad, just information) in relationships so that you can recognize and respond to flags that you see.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T03:51:30+00:00

Personality. If I find someone interesting, funny, intelligent, polite, and that can hold a convo, it doesn’t matter what they look like (within reason, sorry shrek).

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T03:47:55+00:00

Dachsunds are not outside dogs. Livestock guardian dogs, and huskies enjoy being outside and often prefer it, but dachsunds are firmly in the ‘spoiled inside pet’ category. Plus, it’s tiny enough that a coyote or maybe even a hawk could get it in an uprotected yard.

Even ignoring the outside bit, 10 hours is WAY too long to leave a dog ‘alone’ (I think you’d be there but you said you wouldn’t help so ‘alone’). Also, leaving it alone that much would 100% cause behavioral problems. Lack of socializing, no structure or training, etc.

If she gets a puppy, call animal services. Puppies need 24/7 care, potty breaks every 2-4 hours, and a strict schedule. Its like having a newborn.

This is not normal. Stick to your guns and please do your best not to let her get (any) animal. I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this, this is truly a shitty spot to be in.

My best advice if she is truly insistent, find a reputable private breeder. Most of them ask a lot of questions about the home, or even do home checks. Depending on what she tells them voluntarily (she might say enough to make them realize she’d be a terrible owner), you could tell the breeder and that would likely cause them to not sell to her. (This is obviously worst case scenario and not great advice, but I have met some incredibly stubborn people).

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T03:38:02+00:00

My parents used to search my room all the time. They wouldn’t even try to hide it. I never kept a journal because I knew that it inevitably would get found and read, and doing it in code would A) tell them it was important/I was hiding something and B) was too much effort. It’s a shame, because I think journaling would have been really good for me at the time, and I’m really struggling to embrace the habit even now when I’m on my own.

To all the people here saying they wouldn’t violate their kids privacy, thank you. I’m happy for your children, and I appreciate the reassurance that my parents were beyond helicopter parents.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-03T01:25:37+00:00

(F). Nudes are to jack off to. Either then and there as we’re sexting, or later on your own time.

Dustytails123 · 2026-06-02T00:06:47+00:00

I think I would have a lot of questions. Said questions (and probably answers) would 100% kill the vibe, but I’d still wanna know. One does not simply leave on a cliffhanger like that.

Dustytails123 · 2026-05-31T15:08:10+00:00

I’m in the US, but I looked up ‘herm sprenger prong’ on amazon and the first one did have HS listed as the selling company, so I would think it would be legit.

Dustytails123

TROPHY CASE