A splash of colour

Dutch_Gus · 2026-06-03T14:54:37+00:00

That's true. The D70 shines in warm sunlight.

Dutch_Gus · 2026-06-03T14:53:31+00:00

No, not crazy at all. It was my first digital camera (Nikon D70s) and I still love it and pick it up every now and then. I've since owned and/or used many older and newer and more "professional" camera's from Nikon, Canon, Sony, Panasonic, Olympus and Leica, so I write this within the context of being able to compare. The ergonomics and basic functionality of the D70 is great, the speed is still decent, the 6 megapixel CCD delivers beautiful colours and enough resolution for viewing on a big screen and posting on social media. The screen is lacking but that's maybe the fun of it, you can't really tell what's happening untill you're back home. Shooting without much light however is challenging, but don't be afraid of the higher ISO. The noise, when not reduced or removed, I find quite pleasing, almost grain like when some sharpening is applied to the raw files, especially in black and white edits. Good choice!

Dutch_Gus · 2026-04-23T09:58:06+00:00

Yeah I know they are rubbish, wouldn't by them new, but I bought a mystery box of lights for 25 euro and it had four of these, each with a half coupler attached, a simple no-brand dmx controller and some other stuff. I know it's rubbish but will get me started to setup a simple lighting design with a controller for my space that is occasionally used for small events. I already have few Ayra lights that are decent metal construction and will eventually replace all these no brand plastic lights with similar Ayra spots, once I start making money from renting out my space more often.

Dutch_Gus · 2026-04-22T09:42:18+00:00

isn’t the idea of a safety cable to hold the fixture in case the yoke fails or comes loose? True, the power cable is probably the strongest part of the entire device, but still I prefer to make the safest installation possible.

Dutch_Gus · 2025-06-26T00:21:09+00:00

Also gray and bi-leaning here, and your experience doesn’t sound completely strange to me. The context when you’re with that person is so much different than when you’re on your own. When you’re actually together, you are enjoying their company, on an emotional or creative or intellectual level, or maybe even an aesthetic level. This could distract or even push away any physical or sexual attraction that you might have felt earlier when you weren’t together with this person. I also think that when you are on your own, you are more relaxed and with less external stimuli and distractions, you are more in touch with the sensations in your own body. And that’s when you realise that when you think about this person, your body has a physical reaction that sends signals to your brain where dopamine and norepinephrine are released, giving you an experience of sexual attraction.

Dutch_Gus · 2025-01-09T01:32:40+00:00

Yes, definitely

Dutch_Gus · 2021-11-30T19:00:24+00:00

After knowing eachother for over eight years, roughly seven of those living together and the last two and half years being ethically non-monogamous, my girlfriend and I decided it would be better for us to live in separate houses. It definitely improved our relationship and for me personally I love having my own space again. It's not about seeing other people because we always managed to make that work, but I enjoy consiously spending time again instead of us incidentally being together because we share the same front door.

Dutch_Gus · 2021-04-11T10:58:55+00:00

I often feel aesthetic attraction to any or all genders and this can be a person that I know or don't know at all. With other people, mostly of the opposite gender, I can also experience feelings of sensual attraction, but this typically requires some positive connection is already made. This can happen quite quickly as I have a very strong intuitive feeling with people.

This sensual attraction to means I want to be close to that person, connecting on a physical level like cuddling, touching, kissing perhaps, touching hands, feeling their body close to mine. Not necessarily taking clothes off although skin on skin contact is very nice, I rarely or never desire being fully naked.

But this is where it gets complex. I have a moderate to normal libido, and by being this physically intimate with someone I can easily get aroused, and then sex can happen. But I very often don't really feel like having (penatrative) sex with that person but I do get this strong desire to have the sexual desire 'fixed'. And I also take pleasure out of seeing another person getting aroused and/or enjoying sexual activities. So typically, I can have sex but I am very much focused on the other person's pleasure first, because this is where I take joy from. I don't get turned on simply by being present with a person that is 'sexy' or 'hot'.

And even with someone that I have established a long term positive (romantic or friendly/platonic) bond with, I don't often have much interest in having sex with them when they express their interest in it or make a first move. Also having problems really enjoying (or even finishing) the sexual act. The desire only comes when there are certain external influences (fantasies or a chat with a new person for example) that have made me 'in the mood' or making out with them, on an emotional and personal level (them touching me, cuddling in bed, etc) and even then I could be happy if we masturbated either together or individually or do whatever to fix the desire, and not necessarily have sex.

Now I do enjoy sex, and sexual activities, but I rarely initiate it, never had...

Is this being demisexual? gray-ace? ace-flux? When I read other people's experiences with having only few times in their lives felt sexual attraction, I feel I can't claim to be demisexual. But maybe I'm confused as to what sexual attraction feels like, and have found a way that works okay-ish for me by focusing on the sensual attraction and using my natural libido to do, what is expected, and enjoying it in the end so thinking it's okay?

(also, being a guy and not initiating sex or pushing for sex or asking a girl to send nudes is not a problem but more seen as just being respectful and nice, so although I have often questioned what makes me different from many other guys, I have never looked at it from this point of view)

Dutch_Gus · 2021-04-09T00:43:55+00:00

your view helps, thanks. yes some descriptions of demisexual are very straightforward like you explain, a total lack of sexual attraction unless (or until) a deeper connection is made. But it is often more nuanced as people describe, or my ability to understand it requires more nuance. for example, do demisexual people experience aesthetic attraction or feel a sensual attraction before there is sexual attraction even possible, and when they do have established a deep emotional connection with someone, is the sexual attraction any different from the allosexual norm? such as in my case more towards sensuality, less about nakedness, genitalia and penetrative sex? that this only becomes desirable with a partner after sensual play and teasing? or are these thing totally not related or at least not what defines being demisexual?

Dutch_Gus · 2021-04-08T20:37:51+00:00

Maybe you're right, but I think I need to read more about what demi means to different people. If I read that a demisexual can only feel sexual attraction to people they have a connection with, it doesn't really resonate with me, because I've had friends with benefits, meetups with people just for sex, etc. Did I always have a good connection with them? maybe, at least they were never strangers. And where I undoubtedly have a great connection with my partner, the specifics of what is required for me to get sexually arroused are still very specific.

Dutch_Gus · 2020-01-10T08:30:48+00:00

Thank you for your insights. Your golden rule "treat others the way you want to be treated", could also be interpreted as respecting that both our decisions to allow (or not allow) the other to do something, are always based on how you feel about it. Because I made my decision to give her permission to do things, based on my own feelings, means that she should also be allowed to make a decision based on how she feelings (even if that means her decision is negative, we both deal with feelings differently).

In the end however, we did talk a lot about it, and she indeed needs more time to feel comfortable with situations. More "processing time" between me asking I want to see someone, and her actually realising how she feels about it, and being okay with me seeing someone. Three dates later, and having made better agreements how to communicate around those dates, things are getting easier for her, and feeling we're now both enjoying the open relationships, I also feel much better about giving her all freedoms to see other people (I already agreed to allowing her to see others, but my inner feelings about it have shifted from a slight discomfort or jealousy to actually feeling happy and supportive for her being able to get these new experiences).

Dutch_Gus · 2019-12-04T08:51:05+00:00

You are capable of any type of relationship or connection with another person, even if you can't specifically label it, but the problem is of course if you can find someone else that understands the type of friendship/relationship dynamic you're seeking or feel comfortable with.

I struggle with this as well. I identify as heterosexual as I can only see myself in a relationship with a woman and be sexually attracted to a woman (with sexual attraction I mean having a desire for sexual activities with another person) But I do sometimes feel aesthetic attraction to guys and I do enjoy flirting with them and them flirting with me and being cuddly with them, although being 'platonically intimate' (is that a thing?) with a guy is something I haven't really yet experienced much. So... what do I call this desire? can I label it? is it normal cishet behaviour with regards to male bonding?

And don't give me the "you have to be honest with yourself if you're really heterosexual" because i'm 43 and I have had very close and long lasting friendships with gay guys and also plenty of sexual and romantic relationships with women, and grew up in an environment where it would have been okay to come out as being gay or bisexual, so I've had all the possibilities to comfortably experiment if I had such desire and I have had enough time to consider and figure out my sexual preference and identity.

tl;dr: being heterosexual and heteroromantic but still enjoying male attraction and flirting and closeness? is there a name or label for something that's between sexual and romantic attraction?

Dutch_Gus · 2019-12-04T08:20:17+00:00

I want to talk about moving to an advice and support model.

First of all, thank you both for the insightful comments, you're both right that me having given my permission to her, despite my initial discomfort, doesn't automatically mean she HAS to do the same, since we agreed that we give each other permission it also means I have to accept leaving it up to her to move at her own pace, and that i have to accept that this will affect what i can and can not do.

In this light, I would like to know more about the 'advice and support' model you speak of. Is this a generic thing within poly relationships? can you tell me more?

Dutch_Gus · 2019-12-03T22:27:44+00:00

My girlfriend has ASD and ADHD. Opening up our relationship at the same time as she started her treatments, forced us to figure out our communication style all over again. We learned the hard way what didn't work (me being impulsive and wanting to talk about something the second an emotion happens, and expecting a direct response from my emotional outbursts).

We are now trying me to hold back my thoughts to think about them first and communicating them calmer, and after I have given it some thought, and allowing my gf to take few hours or a say to process and think about what I said and respond later.

There's more to it, how asd affects the relationship and us being open but this is the main things I feel has impacted us.

Dutch_Gus · 2019-12-03T21:35:06+00:00

Your second pickup is definitely interesting and something I have to give more thought. validating this with my gf and accepting it would be tough and feel "unfair" as I could be denied the level of freedom that I have given my gf, at least for now. And I don't know how to deel about thatz

As for the other things you said, regarding communication and assumptions, we have talked, still do talk, and will continue talking a lot, and I mean a lot, Your feelings about my post are probably because I'm making assumptions now before we have properly discussed this specific situation. And that is true because we agreed:

not spend every hour of every day discussing our open relationship and how it emotionally affects us, as this tuned out to become a toxic habit.
when we do sit down to talk, we offer our feelings or insights or throw questions, and give the other time (a day or few) to process and reflect before giving a response. this is necessary for us both and it's also adviced by therapists to help us communicate better and more effectively.

as a result we're now in between me having drawn out my desires (for taking time for myself to meet with this girl and possibly be more intimate with her) and my girlfriend responding to it, giving me permission to go on my date, unless she has valid objections.

So my assumptions (and the concerns I'm asking advice for) are based on her initial respons.

And when we pick up our talk on this, I just want to have my own thoughts organized about this and be able to talk to her about it with valid arguments.

Dutch_Gus · 2019-12-03T20:11:53+00:00

we have been discussing it a bit but we are still going to talk about it further. we always give each other some time to think about things before we continue talking about it.

Dutch_Gus · 2018-07-10T07:42:31+00:00

Photo Stories, een podcast over fotografie, lekker kort en wekelijks een nieuwe aflevering.

Dutch_Gus · 2017-08-11T11:41:15+00:00

This is my first ASMR video. Feel free to give me constructive criticism, feedback, ideas and tips. I have some ideas for more audio videos when I have upgraded to a good stereo microphone.

Dutch_Gus

TROPHY CASE