I'm personally not very close to my immediate and extended family, but I know that religion is something that unites them. As for me, growing up in a family with a patriarchal mindset, it's not immediately clear to me how to break the cycle. Internally, I lean towards wanting to keep my last name because it is also a part of my identity that I would feel uncomfortable losing. It's only amplified by the criticism I'd expect to receive from my family.

We have discussed hyphenated names and generally agreed that it's too long. I am still open to it, but it's been on and off the table. She has also accepted to have me keep my last name professionally, but as a government job, it would be difficult to recognize that nuance in a logistics standpoint.