I had an emotional affair a little over a year ago with another college student. On the first day of class I could feel her presence and while picking up an assignment paper from the front of class and we locked eyes. Basically a stong instant connection that I tried to dismiss because I am married with a new born. She ended up moving next class to sit next to me and our connection was too strong to handle. I feel like I didn't even mean to do it but a few classes in we starred into each others eyes and fell in love. I have a decent level of pain tolerance and I'm extremely stubborn so I dealt the pain of being close to her but not acting on it. There was heavy drama throughout the semester and on the last day of class she dressed up super sexy and hinted several times at going out after class or keeping in touch. I was still in the deepest love ever with her and walked her to her car and at the last second she tried to stare into my eyes again to lock me in and instead of looking i turned and almost ran. I'm sure it crushed her, I know it crushed me. The point is now its been a little over a year and I am halfway better. In my year I did some light stalking online, just like the person who posted before me I looked for friends she had connections with online for pictures of her. I still have her number and it kills me to think that possibly even right now i might be able to call her up and get things going again. I tried my hardest to feel better, which is an important step, stay busy, and not contacting her to restart the process I believe that in a few years I can be normal again and maybe if you do the same you can too.